Where Do I Begin? All I Know Is Gone

Waking up with a chest in my face and arms wrapped tightly around my body wasn't exactly a usual occurrence for me. I was surprised at first, initially believing it to be Conor who was holding me close. That thought ended the moment I felt the scratchiness of a beard as a kiss was placed on my forehead, knowing Conor was always clean-shaven. Then the reality of the Conor situation hit, moisture starting to well as I blinked furiously trying to hold it back. I wasn't a crier, especially not in front of relative strangers. Pretty much the only time that happened was at funerals, or the three times I partially dislocated my knee.

The body, that I'd come to remember as being Padge, wasn't making things easy for me. I was trying to gently wiggle my way out of his arms, attempting to lessen the awkwardness of the situation by not mentioning anything. Unfortunately he didn't seem to take any notice of me, and kept his grip firm.

Running a hand down his spine, earning a small shiver from him, I summoned the courage to speak, "Uh, Padge? As comfortable as you are, I kinda need to get up."

That seemed to shock him back into reality as his lips removed themselves from where they had been resting on my skin, and his arms loosened considerably. "Sorry, I thought you were..." he spoke quietly as he rolled onto his back; fighting the same emotions I had just dealt with.

Getting out of the bed I game him a small smile, "Yea, I know. I had the same thing." With that said, and the situation having eased I made my way out into the hallway, trying to remember which door belonged to the bathroom. Finding it on the first try, I congratulated myself silently.

My memory wasn't one of my best assets, something I blame completely on heredity. Mostly from my mother, though my dad did have his moments too. Mum could ask you something, then literally two minutes after you've answered ask you again because she either wasn't sure she'd asked, or couldn't remember if you actually replied. It was shocking, and highly frustrating. I, however, seemed to have picked up a mutated version, that left me with an inexplicable knack for remembering faces. Of course, it wasn't much good when I couldn't remember the names to match, but it meant my brain wasn't a total failure, and that was good enough for me.

After taking care of my main reason for entering this small room I stood in front of the mirror, contemplating washing my face. There was an internal debate over whether I really wanted to wake up properly, but I figured I probably should, not wanting to overstay my welcome. Drying off my face I noticed a tube of toothpaste, so I squirted a bit out onto my finger and used that as a stand-in toothbrush. It didn't do much for my teeth, but it certainly helped in getting rid of that horrible stale taste that always seems to show up after a night of drinking.

I was just about to spit when the door to the room flung open, a very sleepy Jay walking in to use the facilities.

"Uh, don't mind me," I half-laughed nervously, making sure to keep my eyes averted. Quickly rinsing my mouth out I left the room not even bothering to wipe it off while listening to Jay's groggy apology.

Heading back up the hallway I heard movement in another room, meaning people were waking up and getting ready to face the day. Just as I was about to enter the room I'd slept in Matt walked out from his bedroom, waving and smiling good morning.

"Your friends are weird. Jay just walked in and started pissing while I was in there," I joked to Padge, who was still just lying on his back in the bed.

He let out a breath of a laugh, with not much force behind it. "They're your friends now too, or did you forget Jay and Moose voted to keep you?"

"True," I nodded, while gathering up my clothes from their pile on the floor. Placing them on the bed beside where I sat I began to put my bra on underneath the shirt, sensing Padge's uneasiness. It also felt like he wanted to say something, but he stayed quiet until I had replaced my borrowed sleep shirt with my own.

"I was thinking, about before? Well," he began nervously, eyes flicking from the ceiling to me, then back. "This will probably sound really weird, but ah... It was actually kind of comforting having someone to hold. So, umm, thanks I guess."

There was a tinge of red covering his cheeks, a sign of his shyness, as he still couldn't fix his eyes on anywhere specific. I had to admit it felt nice to hear him say that, to help his situation in a small way. It also registered that, though it had been months since I'd been that close to anyone, it had felt nice to be cuddled up to him, giving me hope that I could get over Conor and move on.

Shuffling over a little I leaned my shoulder against his, finally getting him to look at me properly. "Hey, it's ok. I think you helped me out a little too. If you ever want to talk about it or anything... I know how you're feeling, ya know."

In that moment we seemed to have come to a silent conclusion that we would help each other through these hard times, to conquer heartbreak together.

I gave him a small peck on the cheek before I finished getting changed, keeping my back turned while he did the same. We were just about to head downstairs when a head popped around the corner of the door, Jay coming to check up on us.

"Sorry about..." he blushed cutely, that cheeky grin of his still present. "Anyway, we're about to head out for brekkie if you're up for it?"

I took that as my cue to leave, slipping my shoes on and grabbing my small bag before being escorted by the two men.