Freshman Year

I was freaking out. Kevin sent me a message on Myspace basically saying he thought I didn't want to go out with him. When he got to school, Kevin sat next to me. I could tell he wasn't happy. He wouldn't talk to me, or he would just say really rude things back when I said something. Brenda was trying to get me to hold his hand. I didn't want to because I thought it would piss Kevin off even more and everything rude he said was an even deeper stab to the heart. I felt horrible.

I almost cried in Spanish. I couldn't get Kevin off of my mind.

Chelsea started crying during Chorus. It was because of this new song we started learning. It was religious and Chelsea is Atheist. She was crying because a bunch of her religious friends died. It was pretty depressing. It made me want to cry, but for some weird reason, no tears would come. I also found out that Callie broke up with Ryan. He said that one of her friends texted him, telling him it was over. I found that pretty stupid.

For Anthropology, we worked on our dance.

English was boring. We just took a test and read.

Art was pretty bad. When Kevin got into the class, I told him that I was sorry. He just said something rude back again. I worked on my project a little, but got overwhelmed. I was going to cry. I made another attempt to make Kevin happy with me again. He just said something else that was rude. I put my head down on my desk and started crying. I wasn't sobbing or anything. Just tears and the occasional sniffle. I spent about a half hour like that. Kevin was trying to distract himself. I could tell. He was offering to do Tyler's work and wouldn't take no for an answer.

At the end of the period, people noticed that I had been crying. They asked me what was wrong. I refused to tell them. It was mine and Kevin's problem, not theirs. "Are you really that upset?" Kevin asked after I stood up.
"Yeah," I said and went to go spit out my gum. On the way back to my spot where I was standing, Kevin opened his arms and said something which ended up in me hugging him. I mean, we stood there for the last two or three minutes of class just hugging. "Now you know how I feel," he said. "All the time."
"You shouldn't feel like that all the time," I told him. He hugged me tighter. My head was against his chest. I could hear his heartbeat. Tyler was bugging us. I liked it when Kevin would talk back to him, though. His voice sounded all weird with my head against his chest and everything. He was warm, too. Kevin would like put his chin on top of my head and stuff. He moved down closer to me and asked for a kiss. I kissed him even though I don't think I should have. I think I missed because I could feel his stubble on my lips.

"You call me tonight, mkay?" he sounded different. I couldn't explain it, but something was weird about the way he said that. I told him I would call him. the bell rang. I slowly let go and started out the door. Kevin walked quietly next to me. When we got outside, he gave me another tight hug and a kiss. I didn't feel any stubble this time. "Call me when you get home, mkay?" he said again. I told him I would and walked to my bus.

When I got home, I called Kevin. It was really awkward at first. I was shy again with him. He sent me a message on Myspace while we were talking. It said that he loved me and that he was sorry for making me feel that way. He even started crying while we were talking. Kevin told me about how horrible he felt while I was crying in class. He said that he was distracting himself by working on Tyler's thing so that he wouldn't cry. I knew it. We talked about if we were still going to be together or not. I said it was all up to him. He decided to stay together. Before hanging up, Kevin told me he loved me. It was the first time he actually said that to me. He only said that like twice and on Myspace. "She kept him on a tight leash," he said about my friend Rebecca and her ex boyfriend. "You know what that's called?"
"Nope."
"It's called love."