F'd Up Family:The Kaulitz Family

After my doctor gives me my shot(birth control) my mom takes me back to Tom's.

"I'll come get you tomorrow morning okay?" My mom says as i get out the car.

"Its okay. I'll drive myself or Tom will bring me." i wave her good bye.

I unlock the door and go into what i think will be my home for the next 2 years. 'It's really quiet' i think as i lock the door.

"Tom!"

"In the kitchen." he calls. He sounds sad.

I walk into the kitchen. "Whats up?" i sit next to him at the island.

"I just want to let you know, we wanted to wait until you were older to tell you and Nick." he says.

"I understand. I mean what if we called you dad in public when we were little." he nods. "What im pissed at is how mom treats dad. He didnt have to stay and help her raise us but he did even though we're not his kids."

"Yeah." he nods. Then theres an awkward silence.

"Nick is really pissed at me." he breaks the silence.

"More at me." i sigh. "I want be with him that way. I do love him but im scared."

"Did you really want to be with him because you love him that way or because you think thats how it works in this family?"

I shrugg. "I dont know i guess i thought thats just the way it is."

"Do you still feel the same about me after all this?"

My face gets hot. "Yes and feel even more ashamed." i whisper. I mean you would too.

"We never really talked about this. Come on." he pulls me out of my seat and into the living room. We sit on the couch. "When did you start to have these feelings for me?"

"I think i was 13. I really liked hugging you and...." my face gets hotter. I cover my face.

"Dont be embarassed." he rubs my back and i tense a little. "Just tell me what you're thinking."

'I want you to fuck me on this couch!'

"I dont really think you wanna know." i push my hair out of my face.

He chuckles. "We can talk about something else."

THANK YOU!

I forgot to tell him what Kelsey said about him.

"Kelsey wanted to know if you like younger women?" i laugh at his facial expression. "She says you're the first guy shes found atractive in a while."

"How old is she?" he asks shocked.

"She'll be 18 in July. So its cool." i laugh.

"She's not really my type." he shruggs.

"Why? What's wrong with her?" i narrow my eyes at him.

"No! Theres nothing wrong with her!" he holds his hands up in defence. "She just kinda scares me. Hell she scares everyone."

I burst out laughing. She is crazy. Yeah i never really told you anything about her.

Well her whole name is... Kelsey Destiny Cyrus the daughter of Trace Cyrus. Her dad is soooo hot, but back to Kelsey. She's the one no one knew about because she lived with other relatives in New York, Brooklynn to be exact. She rebelled and turned to screamo to get away from all the stereo types after everyone found out she was Trace's daughter. You would too if your dad was in a band called Metro Station, your aunt was Hannah Montana, and your grandpa had a song called 'Achy Breaky Heart'. Ha! She definatly have the Cryus pipes and she can definatly scream! They call her The Last Emo because well she is but except she's not one of those poser emo's thats just wanting to fit in with everyone. My dad said everyone stopped trying to be emo when people started beating up anyone with thick eyeliner and skinny jeans. So basically, the end of 2009.

My mom doesnt like her. She says she has a bad influence on me. Dude, i was like this before i met her. Having to fight for your life everyday does that to a person and im not just talking about fighting off Nick.

"She's even better when she doesnt take her meds."

"Meds?" his eyes go wide. "Oh gott what does she take?"

I roll my eyes, "Nothing serious, just antidepressants and ritalin. Its not funny when she doesnt take her antidepressants though."

I see the look on his face. It says 'So shes crazy?' So i just decide to change the subject. "You know, i've been thinking about dying my hair. I just look too much like the sterotype im trying to stay away from." My mother...

"I've seen what magazines been saying about you."

They said the reason why i was in the hospital wasnt because i was in a coma, but i was recovering from...breast surjury. They're saying i got a boob job! Yes my boobs are bigger but they are natural!

"It's not my fault both of my parents are blonde beautiful people." i giggle. He laughs.

"Maybe you could model?" he suggests.

"Mom did that too. She acts, dance, sing, and model." i push my bangs aside. "When i was little i remember all i wanted to do was sing. Nothing else, i wanted to be a rockstar."

He chuckles, "I also remember. 'Uncle Tomi listen to me sing!'" he says in a little kid voice. "You can still do it. You know that?"

"I know. Its just im already being compaired to mom. Thats one of the reasons why im dying my hair." i sigh. I hate being compaired to a bitch that treats the ones who love her like crap.

"I think you're nothing like her, you're more a mixture of me and Misha." he scratches his head.

I have to raise my brow at that one, "Misha? How am i like her?!" My one and only blood aunt Misha Jonas(Married to Kevin Jonas), mom's sister. We get alone good but she kinda was a slut until she met Kevin. Who got her to change her ways and become a Christian.

"Rebelious...but you get that from me too. Nick is more like your mom, i seen that today. Tahshi liked to yell...alot! She's threatened to cut off something very valueable. But you," he puts an arm around me, "You're like me." he smiles.

"Hm baby girl is like daddy? Let me see. Likes to party, likes to get wasted, hates grandma Candase, loves sex. Yep im just like daddy."
_______________________________________________________________________
*Next Morning*

"Tom. Tom?"

What the hell?

"Hey Tom come answer the door!" I open my eyes, that sounds like the intercom. My mother? What does she want! "I tried to respect your privicy and not use the key but its hot out here so im coming in!"

I roll my eyes and strech out on the bed. "Crazy lady is waiting for you."

"I dont feel like getting up." Tom tells me.

I pull the covers up tp my chin, "Who wakes up yelling at people?" I can hear her rambling as she comes up the stairs.

"Only Tahshi Lyani Moore-Kaulitz." he rubs his eyes as she bursts through the bedroom door.

"Get up. We're having a family meeting." she looks at me brow raised. "What are you doing in here?"

"I was sleeping. What's the family meeting about anyway?" i ask yawning.

She folds her arms over her chest, "About you and your multiple partners."

Tom makes the dramatic 'Dun dun duuuun' sound as he gets out of bed. "Uh-oh."

"Oh come on! I've only been with three...people-Is Nick down there?" Please dont let him be down there.

"Yes, we still need to talk about what happened yesterday. So get up." she does this chop-chop thing with her hands.

I whine as Tom pulls the cover off me, "You were gonna have to talk about this sometime."

"Okay..." i grab my hoodie, pull it on and follow mom and Tom downstairs. "Morning daddy." i hug him. Nick continues staring at his hands in his lap.

I take a seat on the far end of the couch Nick's sitting on.

"First thing we need to talk about..." dad begins "...is this thing that your mother discovered yesterday, Lyani. What happened to 'It'll be a long time before i have sex with anyone', huh?"

I shrugg.

"Nick how many girls have you been with?" mom asks. I can tell she really doesnt want to know.

"One." he says his voice low, "Just one."

"Well thats less than Lyani." she says in a smart way i dont really like.

"I hope in your own bitchie way you're not calling me a slut." i reply calmly.

"No im just saying you've even had more guys than me."

"Well you're wrong about that because one of them was a girl!" i shout.

Silence...my dad looks up at me. "A girl?"

I nod. "Mom would you like to know more. Maybe who it is and why?"

She nods, shocked. Nick shakes his head.

"She never made a pass at me or anything like that. I made the first move because i wanted to know if it was just all in my head and i never trusted guys because...." i this is the first time im actually talking about this and im crying. I hate crying, "because of what the first one did to me. Kelsey helped me keep my mind off of it."

"What did Shane do?" dad asks. Shane was my first boyfriend so i guess thats why he thought it was him i was talking about.

"It wasnt Shane. He helped me keep my mind off of it too."

"So we've never met the first guy?" mom asks confused. "Was it this older guy you were talking about cause i'll kill him."

"No!" i yell frustated. I whipe my eyes, "Maybe if you were home instead of out all the time you would've noticed! Nick, it was Nick okay? He's been beating the shit out of me since we were 8, he raped me! He hit me and i fell i hit my head on the table in the living room, thats what had me in a coma. He made me do things to him and if i told him no i'd get hit."

Nick has his hands over his ears rocking back and forth shaking his head. Mom is crying.

"The only men i've ever trusted was Tom and daddy."

"Nick...what's wrong with you?" mom asks, "Let me know whats going on in your head, please."

"I love her, but-but she loves Tom." he whispers.

The look mom gives me isnt one that says she understands. "What?" she stands up and pulls me up out of my seat by my arm. She snatches my hood off. "Is he the older guy?" She looks me up and down. "What were you doing in his bed?"

I look at dad, he looks at Tom.

"Mom let me go." i tell her she has a tight grip on my arm. She lets me go but goes over to Tom who is leaning on the wall.

"Her whole diary is about how much she wants to fuck him!" Nick blurts out.

Mom looks at me her face is red.

"You must not have a life for you to sit and read my whole fucking diary!"

"What is going on?" she tries to stay calm but i can tell shes about ready to burst.

"N-nothing." i studder. She walks back up to me slowly.

"One of you better tell me the truth...now!" she yells.

Tom nods, "Just tell her, Lyani."

"God! I'm just gonna spill it all, okay?" they nod. Mom's more of a pissed nod. "Kelsey and Shane are only there for about 15 mins but i still feel numb. When Tomi hugs me, kisses me, touches me, i feel loved. I know that he might have kissed me today but he's not going to hit me tomorrow. You have no idea how hard it was not to just tell you to fuck me into the mattress last night." i tell him. He smiles.

"What the hell are you smiling for?!" she goes back to Tom and pushes him.

"Tahsh..."

"Dont Tahsh me! What is wrong with you?" she turns back to me, "He's your father and you want him to 'fuck you into the matress'?"

"She wants him to touch that spot with his tongue." Nick adds.

"Shut up Nick!" i yell. I look at him and notice...he's reading my diary.

" 'He his dick against my ass, it felt so good...."

"Oh my god..." i pull my hood back up.

" '...as he slapped cheek and squeezing the other. I found out he was my dad but it made making out even better. I bet i can satisfy him more than mom could. Mybe thats why he ran around on her, maybe she wasnt doing it for him.' "

I fell a sting on my cheek and realized i've been slapped, by my mom?

"You little bitch!" she slaps me again. "You little bitch."

"Tahshi!" dad pulls her away from me and Tom.

"No let me go!"

"What about you basturd son who fucking raped me and almost killed me? Huh?" i yell. "No. Turn all back on me and how much of a slut i am. Nevermind the fact that you fucked two brothers. Married one and had the other one's babies."

"Shut up you little whore!" she shouts.

"I cant take this anymore." i make my way to the door.

"Get your ass back here, we are not done talking!"

"I am." i grab my car keys and leave.
_______________________________________________________________________
*Thrid Person*

"Bill?" He looks up at his red faced wife. He doesnt even see the Tahshi he knew 16 years ago. "You have nothing to say?"

"I dont think i can do this anymore Tahshi." he says.

Her face soften a bit. "What?" her and Nick say in unison.

"We both havent been happy all these years and now that the kids know im not their father..."

"You want a divorce? Is that what you're saying to me, Bill?" her voice goes up a pitch higher.

"You never loved me. You wanted to marry Tom not me." he sighs. "Lyani can come stay with me if she wants. I dont want anything to do with him." he points to Nick. "Tom do you know where Lyani may be going?"

"Yeah i'll go get her." he quickly leaves.

"I think you should go home before i get the urge to choke him." he tells Tahshi. She sadly leaves taking her son with her.
_______________________________________________________________________
*Lyani*

In the woods in this cabin is where i come to get away from Nick. I cant beleive my mom. Nick got the fucked up genes. Everybody thinks being a Kaulitz is so amazing. 'You're so lucky' they say. Growing up with money, getting to meet just about everyone. "Big happy family. More like big dysfunctional family."

"You got that right."

I turn around and there is Tom. He's the only one that knows about this. "Hey."

He sits on the bed next to me. "I have good news for you."

"What?"

"Bill is divorcing Tahshi. Bill wants custody of you. He doesnt want Nick." he smiles.

"Yes! I can choose since im old enough." i hug him but then release him.

"You'll never see him again. I'll talk to Bill about going back to Germany." he kisses me on the lips lightly.

"I could start over. I want to have a relationship, one thats not just based on sex. Which means i have to put my feeling for you aside." he nods.

"We can leave this week if you want." he tells me.

"Yea. All i have to do is tell Kelsey, let her know." we leave the cabin and begin to the car, "Tomi?"

"Ja."

"Danke. Ich liebe dich."

He smiles down at me, "Ich liebe dich, auch, Lyani."