What a Wonderful Caricature of Intimacy

When I was done with my shower and dressed, I went downstairs. I found Ryan in the living room, as usual.

"I'm going to bring you home in a little bit," he said when I sat next to him.

"Ok," I said.

About a half an hour later, Ryan and I were at my house, sitting in his car parked in my driveway.

"I'm going to pick you up for school tomorrow," Ryan said. "Make sure you're ready to go when I get here."

"Ok," I said. I started to get out of the car without thinking.

I heard Ryan clear his throat.

"Oh," I said, turning back to him. "Sorry."

I leaned forward and kissed him softly before getting out of the car. I closed the car door and watched Ryan back out of my driveway. When he was gone, I headed into my house.

"Is that you Jenny?" I heard my mom call from somewhere in my house.

"Yeah, Mom," I called back. My mom appeared in front of me a moment later.

"Did you have fun?" she asked.

"Yeah," I said, forcing a smile. "It was great."

"Well, I'm glad you had fun," she said. I nodded my head. My mom smiled warmly at me. I hated how she thought I was just her innocent daughter. It made feel sick.

"I'm gonna go up to my room," I said.

"Ok," she said.

I went up the stairs and to my room, closing the door behind me. I kicked my shoes off and layed down on my bed. I hated lying. I just want to tell my secret. I need someone who knows what I'm going through. I just don't know what to do. Each day my walls move closer, and I feel more suffocated. I just need to say it. Get it over with. I can handle the consequences. I just need the fucking feeling of suffocation to go away. It's all I want. So why not tell my secret?