What a Wonderful Caricature of Intimacy

To be completely honest, I hate secrets. I hate people who have secrets. So I guess you could say I hate myself. Because I have a secret. I can't mention what it is though because, well, it wouldn't be a secret anymore. But I can tell you this. To my subconcious, my secret takes the form of four walls, surrounding me, that slowly inch toward me each day. At the moment, they are far away..But I can still see them. I still know they're there. I hate thinking of how someday those walls may close around me. I'm sure if I just told someone my secret, it would help...But I just can't do it. If I told my secret then the reason I have the secret in the first place would..I can't say anymore. Let's just say things wouldn't be good for me if I told you.

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I was laying on my bed, as usual, just staring at the ceiling when there was a knock on my bedroom door. It was opened a second later and my mom poked her head in.

"Jenny?" she said. I turned my head to look at her.

"Yeah?" I replied.

"Ryan's here," my mom said. I sat up and got off my bed.

"Ok," I said. "I'll be right down."

"Don't make him wait to long," my mom said, smiling at me.

"I know, Mom," I said. I went over to my closet and opened it, pulling out some clothes. I'm not going to explain Ryan, because I'm not sure how to explain him. Let's just say that I have to see him a lot. I got dressed quickly and ran a brush through my hair before hurrying downstairs. I didn't see Ryan, but I saw my mom.

"He's in his car," my mom said. I forced a smile.

"Ok," I said. "I'll be back later."

My mom didn't say anything, so I left the house and walked fast to Ryan's car. He hated when I took too long. I opened the passenger side door of the car and slid into the front seat and closed the door behind me. Ryan turned to look at me expectantly. I leaned forward obediantly and placed my lips to his. I felt his lips part and immediately opened mine slightly and instantly felt his tounge enter my mouth. After about a minute, Ryan pushed me away. He looked me up and down before turning away and starting his car up. I pulled my seat belt on as he backed the car out of my driveway. To everyone else, this would look like a normal occurance between a boyfriend and a girlfriend. But to me, this was a normal occurance between a girl and her master.