What a Wonderful Caricature of Intimacy

When I woke up it was dark and I was by myself. I got out of bed and went to take a shower. And I might as well say it's not because I feel dirty. I don't really feel dirty. That was just part of the act. I looked at the camera set up in the corner and laughed to myself. There wasn't even any film in it. Never was. When I got to the bathroom, I could hear the shower running. At least I knew where Ryan was now. I decided to wait and take a shower. I went back into Ryan's room and threw on some clothes before going downstairs. I went to the kitchen and found some chips to snack on.

Now you're probably wondering what's true and what's lies. I can't tell you everything, because I can't tell my secret, but I can tell you a few things. I do love Ryan. I'm not sure if he loves me. I've told him plenty of times, but he has yet to say it to me. Our relationship is mostly about the sex, but we do talk. Plus we have this relationship because of our secret. It's hard to explain our relationship without telling you the secret, but I can't tell you. Not yet anyways.

I stopped eating the chips when I heard Ryan walking down the stairs. He came into the kitchen and I couldn't help but smile at him. He smiled back and stole my bag of chips.

"Hey!" I said. "I was eating those."

"So?" Ryan said. "They're my chips."

"That doesn't mean you can just take them from me," I said. "I was still eating them."

Ryan shrugged.

"Well I'm gonna go--" I was interrupted by a knock on the front door. I glanced out the kitchen window toward the front steps to see who it was. "Shit. It's Brendon."

Ryan dropped the chips.

"Go upstairs and wait there till he's gone," Ryan said. I nodded my head and went up the stairs. I stayed near so I could hear what they were saying.

I heard Ryan open the front door.

"What do you want?" Ryan asked.

"Have you seen Jenny?" Brendon asked. "I just went to her house and her mom said she wasn't home."

"Why would I have seen her?" Ryan asked. Brendon didn't say anything. "Well, I guess if that's all.."

The door creaked a little as Ryan started to close it.

"Wait!" exclaimed Brendon.

"What now?" Ryan asked sounding annoyed.

"Aren't those Jenny's shoes?" Brendon asked. I froze.

"Yeah," Ryan said. "She left them here a few weeks ago."

"Why would she forget her shoes?" Brendon asked.

"She had another pair if you think I'm implying that she went home barefoot," Ryan said.

"Oh," Brendon said.

"Bye," Ryan said. I heard the door shut. I went back downstairs. Ryan looked at me. "Be more careful of where you leave your stuff."

"I didn't know Brendon was going to come here looking for me," I said.

"Whatever," Ryan said.

"I'm going to go take a shower," I said, as Ryan made his way back to the kitchen.

"Ok," Ryan said picking up the bag of chips. I stood there for a moment.

"Are you ok?" I asked.

Ryan looked at me. He set the chips down on the counter and came over to me. He wrapped his arms around me and kissed me gently. He pulled away and placed his forehead against mine.

"I'm perfect," he said.