What a Wonderful Caricature of Intimacy

When I had calmed down a little bit, I couldn't help but feel dirtier than ever. I had actually wanted to have sex with him. I got out of bed and went to the bathroom and turned the shower on. I took off the rest of my clothes and got in. I grabbed a wash cloth and started scrubbing at my skin. I didn't even notice the roughness of it because I was so concentrated on not feeling dirty. But no matter how hard I scrubbed, I couldn't get rid of that feeling. Frustrated now, I found myself sobbing again. I turned off the shower and stumbled out. I grabbed a towel and wrapped it around myself. I went back into Ryan's room. He had clothes for me when I stayed here.

I didn't even notice that Ryan had returned to his room as I pulled some clothes out. I didn't notice him until I had let my towel drop to the floor and he spoke.

"What did you do to yourself?" he asked. I turned to see him standing in the doorway. I looked down at my body and saw that my skin was red. I heard Ryan sigh. "Stay right there."

I didn't move. I felt a little strange standing in Ryan's room, naked. He went into the bathroom and came out a second later with a bottle of lotion in his hand. He came over to me quickly.

"Hold out your hand," he said. I instantly followed his order. He put some lotion in my hand. "Rub that in. I'll get your back and face."

Ryan moved behind me and I shivered as I felt the cold lotion touch my skin. After a moment, I started applying the lotion to my front. Ryan got done with my back before I was done and he waited. When I was done, he moved forward and gently rubbed some lotion onto my face. Ryan was doing it again. Acting like a human being. But I didn't like it. If I got used to it, like I had earlier, the same thing would probably end up happening. And I didn't want that.