I've Got Your Mixed Tape In My Walkman

I miss you, miss you so bad
I don't forget you, oh it's so sad
I hope you can hear me
I remember it clearly

The day you slipped away
Was the day I found it won't be the same

I didn't get around to kiss you
Goodbye on the hand
I wish that I could see you again
I know that I can't

I had my wake up
Won't you wake up
I keep asking why
And I can't take it
It wasn't fake
It happened, you passed by

Now you are gone, now you are gone
There you go, there you go
Somewhere I can't bring you back
Now you are gone, now you are gone
There you go, there you go,
Somewhere your not coming back

The day you slipped away
Was the day i found it won't be the same noo..
The day you slipped away
Was the day that i found it won't be the same

The day Lily Baker slipped away...no one saw it coming. Her brother didn't. Their friends didn't. Not even the boy who was in love with her didn't. No one at Huntington High thought twice of this ever happening. They were all left with one question of why she did it. Why did, seventeen year old, Lily Baker take her own life?

Their is only one person who can tell us the real story. You know the story that was the least popular being passed around, the truth. And that is Lily Baker herself.

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"Good afternoon class" Mr. Logan, my English teacher, greeted us. It was the last class of the day and the most dreaded. "Lets take attendance. "Adam Anderson."

"Here."

"Mark Basile."

"Here."

"Katie Carson."

"Here."

Two weeks ago there was a name between Mark's and Katie's. Two weeks ago, I would've been talking to her, since she sat in the desk to my left. These two weeks have been nothing but miserable.

And its all because I don't know why. Why did Lily, my Lily, end her own life?

That has been the past topic for me and my closest friends.

"Did you hear?" I heard the stuck up voice of Brittany Miller whisper from behind me. "That Lily killed herself because she's nothing but a selfish slut."

I narrowed my eyes at my desk glaring holes into it. Brittany had no right, and I mean no right to call Lily out like that. Brittany didn't know Lily like I did. Lily was the most sweetest girl alive and she'd give up anything to make other people happy.Even her own life.

"Jimmy Sullivan?" Mr. Logan called.

"Here." I said a little more irritated then I meant to be with him. But Brittany needs to learn to keep her fucking mouth shut.

"Alright class, open your books o page 223." he instructed. You could hear the flopping of books being placed on the desk tops, one after another.

But there is one desk that wouldn't have the noise of the book on it. And that desk was hers.

Lily Baker's.

Lily was my best girl friend and I was in love with her. Her brother was my other best friend Zack, who is also in a band with me, Johnny, Matt, and Brian.

The day Lily slipped away, I don't think anyone saw it coming. I can remember the day perfectly.

I was sitting in Zack's living with him, Matt, Johnny, Brian, and Val watching TV and having a beer, or two.

"Hey guys." Lily smiled as she came in and joined us.

"Hey." I smiled at her as she sat down next to me. Her long brown hair was back in a pony tail and her eyeliner made her emerald eyes pop out.

We watched TV for another couple of hours until Val and Matt got up.

"Were heading out guys." Matt announced. We all said goodbye but only Lily stood up to give Matt and Val a hug.

"See you later, sweetie." Val said to her as they left the house.

"I think I'm going to go to." Brian announced shoving his hands into his pocket to retrieve his keys. "need a ride Johnny?"

Johnny nodded his head and they said goodbye. Lily gave them hugs as they left to.

I left about an hour after Matt did. Saying goodbye to Lily was like all the others times I did. We hugged, I give her a kiss on the forehead and shed give me a kiss on the cheek.

"Bye baby girl."

No we never dated. It was just my nickname for her. Nothing more and nothing less.

"I'll miss you Jimmy." she said and hugged me again.

I smiled and kissed her cheek. "Ill miss you to." I chuckled and left their house.

No more than twelve hours later she was laying on her bedroom floor...lifeless.

And I never noticed that when we left to go home, she was saying goodbye forever.

Thats why no one saw it coming. She seemed happy. She seemed fine, but that was all on the outside. We never saw her being broke apart on the inside. And thats what everyone over looked. Every smile, every action, every good bye was meant as forever but they were all over looked.

And I was her best friend. And I over looked it all.

"Alright, class I'll see you tomorrow." Mr. Logan announced. I came out of my memory and looked around to see that every one was hurriedly packing up their books. I didn't even noticed the bell had rung. I packed up my stuff and headed towards my locker.

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Just like two weeks ago we all sat in Zack's living room watching TV. But I think we were all hoping for something else. You could tell everyone was thinking it. They'd glance at the stairs or the doors waiting for Lily to come walking through.

But she wouldn't. Because she couldn't anymore from where she is.

"Guys." Zack said coming down the stairs with a shoe box in his hands.

"Whats that?" Brian asked as Zack sat next to him placing the box on the coffee table.

Zack stared at it blankly "It was in Lily's room." he said with no emotion in his voice.

"It has our names on it." Brian said looking it over. He picked it up trying to lift the lid off it. "Fuck its taped." he mumbled.

"Hold on." Val said stepping into the kitchen. She came back with a knife and handed it to Brian. She knelled on the ground in front of him as he cut the tape off the sides.

When Brian opened the box he pulled out seven cassette tapes, the kind you'd make mixed tapes for a crush.

"Is that it?' Zack asked taking the box from Brian's hands and looking in it.

"Yeah." Brian muttered setting the tapes onto the table. We all stared at them in silence deciding on what we should do with them.

"There numbered." Johnny said picking one up. He picked up the others counting them. "Thirteen. Seven tapes, thirteen sides."

"A Baker's dozen." Zack mumbled.