Learn to Spell, God!

Danni’s POV.

I’m bored of this bus now. It feels like we’ve only been on it for a day . . . a very, very long and tedious day. I don’t know what the date is any more. I don’t even know how much longer we have to spend cooped up here. Don’t get me wrong, I love being on tour and making money and just generally being recognised as celebrities now, but we’re about fourth months through a six month tour and we haven’t seen our friends in such a long time. Seeing the same faces everyday can get boring you know.

It feels like all we do these days is sit in the lounge, laughing at people on guitar hero, getting drunk, watching some sort of movie or sleeping. Throw eating junk food into the equation and that is our life, minus the crazed fans, shows and sex in bunks. I wouldn’t trade it for anything else, but it is becoming repetitive.

Layla seems to be able to occupy her self with never ending ‘slaps’ tournaments, mainly against Zacky. When she’s not doing that she’s either making a fool out of herself on Guitar Hero or having a seriously long make out session. Not the nicest thing to witness. However, today Zacky had to occupy himself whilst Layla took a shower, and most likely used up our supply of hot water for today.

Jenn has taken to Sophie’s laptop and is currently typing up a record of our experiences on this tour. She’s hoping that she can get it published. It’d make for an interesting story really; a girl accidently spells an AIM name wrong and her band end up on tour with Avenged Sevenfold. Who wouldn’t want to read about that?! Jimmy and Pippa have been helping her. Jimmy’s input being obscene words to add in appropriate places.

Me? I’ve lost my boyfriend to his band mate; Johnny and Matt are going for a world record breaking Guitar Hero dual. I’ve been observing everyone else like this. It’s rather amusing. I’ve managed to figure out that Sophie and Brian had some seriously good sex at the last hotel; they have been positively inseparable since then. I’ll make a point to announce my theories to everyone else later.

Sophie is currently sprawled across one of the sofas with her head in Brian’s lap and Zack’s glasses perched on her nose. By the look of the nail files, buffing boards and clear nail polish on her lap and in Brian’s free hand, I’d say she was giving him a manicure. Odd people.

“I want to have an argument.” Sophie randomly announced before silence could engulf us.

“Beg pardon?” Layla asked, wearing a similar expression to the rest of the room. She had only just returned from her shower, bringing the intoxicating smells of hair dye with her.

“I want an argument. I feel – and pardon my choice of words – feisty. There hasn’t been any drama since March and we’re now in May.” She sighed heavily and returned to Brian’s nails.

“U – G – L – Y. You aint got no ulibi! You ugly, yeah you ugly!” I began singing after a few minutes of silence.

“Well, that was sufficiently random.” Pippa remarked.

“You fucktard! It’s alibi, not ulibi!” Sophie laughed at me.

“It’s ‘U – G – L – Y’ not A- G – L – Y, so it’s obviously ulibi.” I levelled.

“There isn’t such a word as ‘ulibi’. If you actually turned up to your English lessons, you’d know that.”

“I did turn up to English, thank you very much. Your just the one who sits there reading the freaking dictionary to know if ulibi was a word or not!”

“As much as that makes no sense, I don’t read the dictionary. I just have enough common sense to know that it’s not a word.”

“It is a word! And I’ll prove it, by calling my mum. She taught me that song so she’ll know that I’m right.”

“Your mum thinks that the ‘iPod Shuffle’ called the ‘iPod Shuttle,’ Danni!” Sophie was on her feet, as was I, shouting straight into my face.

“I’ll prove it . . .” I muttered pulling out my phone and hitting in my mum’s number.

“Hiya, babes! How’s the tour going?” My mum’s loud voice rang out through my ears and I was sure everyone else could hear her too.

“Hi, mum. The tours going good so far, you know, aside from the ‘drama’ we’ve had so far. Listen I need to ask-”

“How is Sophs? Karen’s been round worrying about all sorts since Brian called to tell them what had happened.”

“I’m fine thanks, Julie.” Sophie said, none too loudly, from besides me.

“Anyway, mum, you know when you sing ‘U – G – L – Y’? It’s ‘ulibi’ and not ‘alibi’ right?”

“You’re a daft twat, Dan. Its ‘alibi’ hun. ‘Ulibi’ isn’t a word. It’s a good thing your blonde or else people’d think you were thick!” My mums cackling laugh was accompanied by the others in the room.

I closed my phone and slumped on the sofa. I didn’t believe that I was wrong; I will find proof that I’m right!

“Someone’s embarrassed . . .” Sophie giggled, her concentration consumed by Brian’s nails once again. “Good argument though.”

“Shut up! I thought it was ‘ulibi.’ Let’s not forget it was my mother who taught me the song, and you know what her fucked up accent is like.” I huffed. I hadn’t lost this battle yet.

“Your whole family basically live on the border of Mexico, Dan. Even you have a slight accent still. Cant blame your mom for your bad hearing.” Layla pointed out, stifling laughter.

I shot Layla a glare before returning my attention to Johnny kicking Matt’s ass on Guitar Hero. Maybe now would be a good time to announce everyone Sophie and Brian’s little ‘secret’. I felt a little mean thinking about that though . . . it’s not very often we get time properly alone with our other halves these days.

“Sophie, your bank statement just came through in an email.” Jenn said. That was the first we’d heard from her for a good few hours. She passed the oversized laptop to Sophie.

“Holy shit! Layla, my money came through! I can buy my baby!” Sophie was out of her seat and up the stairs on the phone in the blink of an eye.

“Baby?” Brian asked, obviously worried by the choice of words.

“You’ll find out when we return home no doubt, Bri. But now, I need to see a man about some money and beast. Adieu!” Layla was off up the stairs like Sophie and we could all hear them talking excitedly.

“Don’t look so scared, guys. It’s not what you think. If you knew those two well enough, you’d understand.” Pippa reassure the shocked guitarists.

“Think of Sophie’s fetish, Bri, and you’ve pretty much hit the jackpot.” I laughed. This obviously didn’t help his confusion.