Status: Hiatus
Memories Won't Let Me Cry
Thirty-Two
Brian's POV
How could she do this? As much as I loved her...and knew people made mistakes....how could I forgive the fact that she had had a child and neglected to tell me about it? That was just wrong on so many levels in my mind and I just couldn't seem to understand it!
I had came down to the dock so I could try and calm down. The look that Memphis was giving me held sorrow....as if she was extremely sorry and I also couldn't understand that. I just kept breathing in the freash air, letting all of my anger flow out into the light breeze that had began blowing. I closed my eyes and was now getting lost in the quietness until I heard a small voice beside me.
"What are you doing out here?" the voice asked. I looked down to see the small little girl whose name I had learned as Madison.
"Trying to find some peace and quiet" I replied.
"Did you find it?" she asked, proping her hands up on her little hips looking up at me, her squinted from the bright light of the sun as it was about to set.
"Half way" I replied and smiled lightly.
"Whats your name?" she asked.
"Brian Haner Jr" I replied as I kneeled infront of her, taking in her beautiful features. "And yours?"
"Madison Grace Sanders. How old are you?" she asked.
"25....and you?" I chuckled.
"I'm 6....can I ask you something Brian?"
"You haven't seemed to have any trouble asking anything yet...so please do" I replied.
"Why do you hate my mommy?"
This caught me off gaurd and I knew I had lost my smile as I looked at this small girl before me. Is that what it looked like? That I hated Memphis? That wasn't the case at all...I could never hate Memphis. I was indeed angry with her but I could never place the word hate in the same catagory.
"Hunny...I dont hate your mom" I replied.
"Then why did you yell at her?" she asked, her blue eyes studying me..trying to find a lie in anything I would say.
"Well...because she made me angry. She had neglected to tell me something that just happened to pop into the picture when I wasn't expecting it" I explained.
"That doesn't give you any reason to holler at her" she replied as she gave me this look that looked awfully familuar.
"I know sweetheart....and I'm sorry. It's just....I love your mom but it seems she is keeping so many things from me...things that would be openly talked about between us back in the day" I explianed.
"Are you her boyfriend?" Madison replied with a small giggle that I instantly fell in love with.
""I once was....not anymore" I replied as I tucked a stray strand of her beautiful blonde hair behind her ear.
"Well how do you know she doesn't love you?" Madison asked.
"Well...I never said she didn't...but she was married to your father"I replied.
"Andrew wasn't my dad!" she shot out, with a hateful look...letting me know I had struck a nerve.
"And you knew that?" I asked.
"He told me everyday...and mommy even told me that Andrew wasn't my dad!" she explained as she crossed her small arms.
"Did she ever tell you who was?" I asked interested.
"She said it was a man that had held her heart for years! A man from her past that loved her more than anything at one time!" she replied.
As she said this I started thinking....and it hit me hard once a thought crossed my mind. Was this my child standing before me? I studied her features...seeing some of myself. But....why hadn't Memphis told me? As thoughts raced throughout my mind I looked toward the cabins as I saw Matt walk up to Memphis and turn her to face him. Their screams could be heard throughout Big Bear as they began arguing.
I looked toward Madison as she turned, a look that showed one pissed off child as she turned back to me! I smiled as she stomped her foot before running up the dock. I stood and took a deep breath....here comes round 4!
How could she do this? As much as I loved her...and knew people made mistakes....how could I forgive the fact that she had had a child and neglected to tell me about it? That was just wrong on so many levels in my mind and I just couldn't seem to understand it!
I had came down to the dock so I could try and calm down. The look that Memphis was giving me held sorrow....as if she was extremely sorry and I also couldn't understand that. I just kept breathing in the freash air, letting all of my anger flow out into the light breeze that had began blowing. I closed my eyes and was now getting lost in the quietness until I heard a small voice beside me.
"What are you doing out here?" the voice asked. I looked down to see the small little girl whose name I had learned as Madison.
"Trying to find some peace and quiet" I replied.
"Did you find it?" she asked, proping her hands up on her little hips looking up at me, her squinted from the bright light of the sun as it was about to set.
"Half way" I replied and smiled lightly.
"Whats your name?" she asked.
"Brian Haner Jr" I replied as I kneeled infront of her, taking in her beautiful features. "And yours?"
"Madison Grace Sanders. How old are you?" she asked.
"25....and you?" I chuckled.
"I'm 6....can I ask you something Brian?"
"You haven't seemed to have any trouble asking anything yet...so please do" I replied.
"Why do you hate my mommy?"
This caught me off gaurd and I knew I had lost my smile as I looked at this small girl before me. Is that what it looked like? That I hated Memphis? That wasn't the case at all...I could never hate Memphis. I was indeed angry with her but I could never place the word hate in the same catagory.
"Hunny...I dont hate your mom" I replied.
"Then why did you yell at her?" she asked, her blue eyes studying me..trying to find a lie in anything I would say.
"Well...because she made me angry. She had neglected to tell me something that just happened to pop into the picture when I wasn't expecting it" I explained.
"That doesn't give you any reason to holler at her" she replied as she gave me this look that looked awfully familuar.
"I know sweetheart....and I'm sorry. It's just....I love your mom but it seems she is keeping so many things from me...things that would be openly talked about between us back in the day" I explianed.
"Are you her boyfriend?" Madison replied with a small giggle that I instantly fell in love with.
""I once was....not anymore" I replied as I tucked a stray strand of her beautiful blonde hair behind her ear.
"Well how do you know she doesn't love you?" Madison asked.
"Well...I never said she didn't...but she was married to your father"I replied.
"Andrew wasn't my dad!" she shot out, with a hateful look...letting me know I had struck a nerve.
"And you knew that?" I asked.
"He told me everyday...and mommy even told me that Andrew wasn't my dad!" she explained as she crossed her small arms.
"Did she ever tell you who was?" I asked interested.
"She said it was a man that had held her heart for years! A man from her past that loved her more than anything at one time!" she replied.
As she said this I started thinking....and it hit me hard once a thought crossed my mind. Was this my child standing before me? I studied her features...seeing some of myself. But....why hadn't Memphis told me? As thoughts raced throughout my mind I looked toward the cabins as I saw Matt walk up to Memphis and turn her to face him. Their screams could be heard throughout Big Bear as they began arguing.
I looked toward Madison as she turned, a look that showed one pissed off child as she turned back to me! I smiled as she stomped her foot before running up the dock. I stood and took a deep breath....here comes round 4!