Something Better

Joe’s P.O.V.

I sighed and looked out my bedroom window.

How could this have possibly happened? I really wish I could tell her. I wish I didn’t have to keep this a secret from her. But… how is it supposed to be a surprise if she already knows?

Who knows if she’ll even agree to come with after what just happened. I feel so bad. I feel as if I just ripped her heart out and threw it out the window. I feel like such a bad boyfriend…

or soon to be fiancé.

Again, I sighed as I watched the rest of my family have a grand old time outside. My dad decided to cook hamburgers and hot dogs on the grill. They wanted me to come, but I couldn’t. There is absolutely no possible way that I could be happy right now. The only thing that will make me smile is if I saw Alyssa. She and the baby mean so much to me; she just doesn’t even know it. I am kicking myself so hard right now for not telling her ad just letting her walk away tonight, but I have to keep myself stable. A surprise is a surprise, there’s no way around it.

The look on her face after she left… I can’t even explain the hurt it left in my heart. It felt worse than cavemen doing open-heart surgery while I was awake. (I know, terrible explanation, but that’s what it did feel like.) Ten times worse than that. I just want to make it all better.

As I was watching my family have a good time, it reminded me of all the good times I used to have with Alyssa. I’ve known her since I was a child. We went to the same school together. I stared out into space as a flashback went through my mind.

Flashback:

“Quiet! Get low and stay quiet! We don’t want him to hear us!” whispered an anxious seven year old Joe Jonas.

Joe and Alyssa were hiding behind a wood fence surrounding Joe’s backyard. Through a little hole they made in the fence, they spied on an old man who couldn’t be any younger than 60.

The old man happened to have a tomato garden in his backyard. Joe and Alyssa would always steal tomatoes from his yard and throw them at the old man when he went to get his Sunday newspaper.

“The coast is clear.” said Joe.

His little seven year old body jumped the wooden fence and landed with a ‘thud’ on the other side. “Come on Alyssa!” Joe called over.

Alyssa, being the small girl who was always just a few inches shorter than everyone, had a hard time getting over the fence. Finally, after a few minutes of struggling, she got over and feel on her side.

“Ow!” She screamed while Joe tried to help her up.

“Shh! Be quiet! Do you want him to catch us?” Joe harshly whispered.

“No, but that really hurt.” Alyssa whined. She got up and scrambled to her feet.

“Oh, you’ll get over it. Now come on.” Alyssa briefly glared at Joe, but quickly let it go once he started walking towards the tomato garden. A huge smile replaced her glare.

Once there, they both quickly started grabbing tomatoes and cradled them in their shirt. “Grab as many as you can.” Joe reminded.

Alyssa’s small hand grabbed tomatoes while the other one held her shirt open like a little basket. One by one, she plopped them in, as did Joe.

“Okay, that’s good enough. Let’s go.” Joe said as he led Alyssa to the front yard.

They hid behind the old man’s large porch that wrapped around the front of his house, just like the old fashioned porches. Joe took all the tomatoes and put them in a little pile beside the two of them.

“Okay, now we wait. He should be out soon.” Joe said. Alyssa just quickly nodded her tiny head.

The anticipation that filled their tiny bodies was one that Joe would always remember. He and Alyssa did this plenty of times until the old man finally caught them and called the police. Luckily, the police were very kind as to let them off with a warning. But Joe still remembers how much fun they had.

Finally, when they say the front door open, the old man came out. The familiar scent of mothballs filled their nostrils as he walked down his front steps. As usual, he wasn’t wearing any shirt, with just his boxers on, letting his harry, and fat stomach jiggle all over the place along with his man boobs. He had bald spots in different spots on his white head. His hair was un-brushed, just like the usualness of everything else about him.

“Now?” The impatient Alyssa whispered, staring anxiously at the ugly old man.

“Wait for it…” Joe said, also watching the ugly old man intently.

The ugly old man finally reached the newspaper in his driveway, and went to bend down to get it. As his large backside stuck up in the air, Joe whispered, “Now!” Before the ugly old man knew it, his behind was getting smothered in tomatoes.

He immediately shot up and started looking around. “What was that? Who did that?” He started turning around in circles as Joe and Alyssa kept throwing tomatoes at him.

“Who the hell is doing that?!” He yelled in a raspy voice, showing off his yellow teeth. A few were even missing.

Joe and Alyssa finally ran out of tomatoes and tried to contain their laughter until the ugly old man went inside. “I’ll get you! You rotten little fuckers!” He yelled out to no one in particular. He slowly shuffled his way inside, muttering some incoherent words to himself along the way.

As soon as he was inside, Joe and Alyssa started laughing their little lungs out. They laughed so hard that their cheek muscles started hurting from all the smiling.

“Gets him every time!” Joe laughed. Alyssa couldn’t answer, she was laughing too hard. They both rolled on their backs and continued laughing.

End of Flashback:

I smiled as I remembered back to those days. They were really fun. No worries about anything. I was too concerned about girl cooties, except for Alyssa. She was always an exception.

But then again, I never realized how much I needed her up until now. She’s my entire life. She’s like oxygen for me. If it’s not around me, then I suffocate and die. I don’t know what life would be without her, and I don’t even want to know. That’s why I need to fix things fast before they get worse. Kevin and Kristen’s wedding is in a few days. After that, it’s just me and Alyssa. I just hope she won’t still be mad at me.

I want to marry her so bad. I want to spend the rest of my life with her. I want to be able to make sweet, passionate love to her without worrying about it being a sin. I want us to have a life together, to be able to take care of our child in peace.

I just want to make her feel like she’d the best thing in the entire world. And to me, she is.

I sighed yet again as my stomach rumbled, but I wasn’t ready to go down there yet, at least not without Alyssa. I’m feeling more and more breakable every second I’m without her.

God, I lover her so much.