Something Better

Joe stayed like that on top of me for a few minutes, looking in my eyes. None of us had to say anything. The quiet room was actually pretty comforting, besides all the footsteps and voices and phones ringing out in the hallway. So we stayed quiet, just enjoying each other’s company.

A sudden thought popped into my head as I was trying to savor this moment. Where the hell was the doctor when all of this was going on? Shouldn’t he have interrupted us by now? I furrowed my eyebrows as I realized this.

“Hey Joe?” I asked.

His eyes, never leaving mine, blinked and he replied, “Yeah?”

“Whatever happened to Dr. Litzie? Did you see him leave or something?” I cocked my head to the side, thinking. Did I see him leave and just not remember it? No, I couldn’t have. I mean, I was too caught up in trying to kill myself to really pay attention to anything else.

Joe had an amused look on his face. “Why? Do you want him to come back?” He slightly chuckled.

I replied without hesitation. “Hell no! I’m glad he’s gone! But I was just wondering if you knew where he went or something because I was… a little… distracted to pay any attention.” I didn’t want to bring up the scene that had just happened, so I tried to go around it.

Joe didn’t bother to bring it up either. “Well… no. I don’t remember him leaving, either.”

An awkward silence filled the room after that. Great… I just had to go and open my big fat mouth and mention my little accident. Nice going, Alyssa…

I was about to apologize to Joe, but someone interrupted us. “Oh, I’m sorry. Am I interrupting something?” It better not be another fucking doctor, I swear.

Joe immediately climbed off of me and sat back down in his chair in one swift motion. I guess he didn’t want anybody to think that something was going on. Now that would be awkward.

I looked up and saw none other than Rachel standing at the end of my bed, smiling. “It looked like you too were getting it on!” She said, and then smirked at me and Joe.

“Rachel!” I screamed. I can’t believe that she’s actually here! Where the hell has she been all this time? And wasn’t she supposed to be at the wedding? Where’s Nick? All these questions started flooding my mind as Rachel came over and hugged me. She was careful not to squeeze too hard because of the surgery. She pulled back and squealed in my face.

“Oh my goodness! I’m so happy to finally see you! It’s been like what, five years?!” I said, over exaggerating the last part. It really does feel like it’s been five years since I’ve seen her, though.

“I know! I’m so sorry! I would have seen you at the wedding, but… uh… I got held up…” She said. She automatically looked at Joe, then back at me, indicating that she wanted to talk to me in private.

I nodded slightly, and then looked over at Joe. Rachel did, too. We got Joe’s attention when he looked up from his phone and scrunched his eyebrows together. He looked at me, then at Rachel, then back at me again. He kept on going back and forth between the two of us until he finally spoke, “What the hell are you guys looking at?”

I wanted to badly to laugh at the face that Joe was making, but I kept my face serious. “Joe, you have to leave. Rachel and I need to have a private discussion.”

His mouth gawked wide open and his eyes narrowed. He glared at Rachel. “Oh yeah, I don’t even get a hug and you’re already shooing me out the door. Thanks so much Rachel. I feel really loved right now.” He crossed his arms over his chest and pouted, sticking his lip out extra far.

What a goober.

Rachel flew off of her spot on the bed and jumped on Joe in his chair. “Aww, I’m sorry Joey! Hi!” I saw Joe smiled and hug Rachel back. Is she serious? Why is she being nice to him? She should be shooing him out the door no matter what he says!

Next thing I knew, Rachel pulled away from Joe and said, “Now bye Joe!” She tugged him out of the door and pushed him out the door (literally). Once she closed the door, she turned around towards me and we both busted up laughing. She stumbled over to my bed and sat down. We tried to get our laughing to quiet down.

“Joe… is such… a loser!” Rachel said in between laughs. This only made us laugh even harder. My stomach was really starting to hurt.

“You know, I can still here you guys! You’re not being very nice!” We heard Joe yell from the other side of the door. Rachel literally fell off the bed laughing as I clutched my sides harder and fell forward. I doubled over with laughter. My stomach was now literally on fire. It hurt so bad from all the laughing and still being sore and what-not.

When we were both finally done laughing, I sat up straight in my bed and Rachel got up off the floor and sat back on the side of the bed.

“I hate to ruin the happy moment we just had, but… Kevin told me about the baby…” Rachel looked at me with sorrow in her eyes. “I can’t even explain how sorry I am.” She took my hand in both of hers and squeezed tightly. Silent tears fell down my cheeks yet again. This has got to be like, that billionth time that I’ve cried today.

“Oh Alyssa…” Rachel reached over and gave me a comforting hug. I let it all out again as I cried into her shoulder. Again, just as I thought things could possibly be getting better, they go bad again. I just wish I could forget about this whole thing. This has got to be the most horrible thing that has ever happened to me. I’m so broken inside. And for once, no matter what Joe says, nothing could make me feel better.

About five minutes passed by before I was able to calm down. Rachel didn’t try to rush me. She understood the pain, since she also lost her child. So she just sat patiently while I drenched her shirt with my tears and clung on to her for dear life. Once I backed away, she helped wipe some of the tears on my cheeks. I smiled weakly at her. “I’m sorry I even brought it up.” She said. “I just came to pay my respects and say hello to you.” She returned my smile.

“It’s okay, Rachel. Don’t’ worry about it. I’ve just been a miserable wreck all day. I really do appreciate you coming, though. It means a lot.” I said, my voice raspy from crying.

“No problem, Ally. I’m always here for you, you know. I love you like the sister I never had. Any time you need me, I’ll be there. AND I’m on a break from college for this whole week, so I can be there all you want!” She said excitedly.

At least that brightened my day.

“Really?” I sat up straight and smiled wide.

“Yup! Unfortunately I-“ Rachel was interrupted by someone knocking on the door.

“Can I come in now?” Joe’s muffled voice asked from the other side of the door.

“No!” Rachel yelled back. We heard some more grumbling sounds come from Joe. Rachel rolled her eyes and turned back towards me. She sighed then said, “Let me just get to the point so this way Joe doesn’t have to stay out there for much longer.” I laughed and nodded, signaling her to continue.

Rachel breathed in through her teeth and began. “Um… I broke up with Nick.” She flinched at the end.

“Oh… well, I’m sorry.” I didn’t really know what else to say. I was expecting something really big, like maybe she got arrested or something. I don’t know! I just expected it to be good since she kicked Joe out and all but… all she did was break up with Nick. That kind of puts a downer on my excitement.

“I know what you’re probably thinking.” Rachel said. “That’s stupid, that was completely pointless, who the hell cares about a breakup… But, I mean… I kind of really broke Nick’s heart when I did that. And I feel really bad about it. He was completely heartbroken, Ally. He actually cried and begged for me to stay with him. But… I kind of found someone else. I know that sounds really bad, but this other guy has been there for me through everything, while Nick hasn’t. I don’t blame Nick for that at all, but it is college. We both knew that keeping a long-distance relationship was going to be hard. They rarely ever work out unless the couple are like, so in love that they can’t ever see themselves with another person besides their loved one, and they never even look at another person besides their loved one. Nick and I… we barely ever talk anymore. I was getting lonely. I needed someone to hold me in their arms and whisper sweat things in my ear. I wanted all of that, and unfortunately Nick couldn’t give me that because I can’t see him. I feel terrible about it, but I knew it was for the best. That’s also why I missed the wedding. Nick and I had gotten too caught up with the whole ‘breakup’ thing and I kind of missed my flight to come back here. Nick had flown out to come and get me, which he almost missed that flight because he forgot. So then I had to call him to remind him, and then he kept on swearing at himself a million times. But then we missed out flight to come back here and had to wait forever just to rebook our flight, which took a few days. Then when we got here, I heard about you’re little accident, and then rushed over here to come see you.” Rachel was talking just above a whisper now, trying hard to make sure that Joe couldn’t hear a thing she was saying.

I understood perfectly well now. “Rachel, I think it’s perfectly fine. I mean, relationships come and go all the time. I think that, with some time, Nick will eventually be able to get over it. But I would give him some space for right now. And man, that must suck big time, having to rebook you’re flight. Jeez, I would be pissed. Ha ha. But, what does this have to do with kicking Joe out?” I asked.

Rachel looked at the wall behind me. “Well, I didn’t want Joe to get upset with me for breaking Nick’s heart. I didn’t exactly know how he would take it.” She explained.

I nodded my head lightly. “Eh, I guess I understand. But of course you know that I would totally rip Joe’s head off if he ever yelled at you. I would never tolerate that from him.” I stated matter-of-factly.

Rachel laughed and nodded her head. “You know, I could totally see you doing that to Joe if he ever yelled at me.”

I started laughing along with her. “I would! I would definitely do that.” We got into another laughing fit. Luckily this time Rachel didn’t fall off the bed.

Once we calmed down, we sat in silence. It was comfortable, though. Not one of those awkward silences where you’re struggling to find something to say. Goodness, I hate those. They always make my brain hurt because I’m wracking every part of it to try and think of something to say. The worst part is that when you’re no longer hanging out with that person, you can think of like, a bazillion conversation starters. It sucks.

“You know, we should probably bring Joe back in here before he starts crying.” Rachel said with a chuckle.

I pretended to be annoyed. “Ugh. Fine… if we have to.” Rachel and I laughed again.

“Joe! You can come in now!” She screamed at the top of her lungs. The door instantly swung open, as if Joe was literally right in front of the door waiting for us to be done. He rushed in and ran over to Rachel and gave her a really big hug.

“Ah! Joe… you’re… squishing… me!” Rachel said. I started laughing and Joe pulled away.

“Well, I thought we needed a proper greeting. The other one you gave me just didn’t cut it. And psh, you should be happy that I even gave you a hug! After kicking me out, I should have given you nothing. And that was very rude, by the way.” Joe crossed his arms over his chest and glared at Rachel.

“Aw, don’t be mad at me Joey! I love you!” Rachel got up off the bed and hugged Joe. A smile automatically lit up his face and he hugged her back.

Now don’t worry, this didn’t get me jealous, but I just wanted to play along with their little joke. “Joe!” I said, flabbergasted. “How could you?! I thought what we had was special!” I pretended to start crying.

Joe just smirked at me. “Too bad. I think I’m in love with Rachel now.” He hugged her tighter and smiled a wide, toothy smile. “I love you Rachel!” He yelled.

“I love you too Joey!” Rachel yelled back, with the same goofy smile.

I automatically stopped pretending to cry and became serious. “Oh, you guys are so not cool! You’re lucky I’m stuck in this bed or I would shove pencils up both of your noses!” We all started laughing and Rachel and Joe pulled apart.

Joe came over to me, lied down on the bed next to me, and wrapped his arms around me. “Aw, you know I will always love you and only you.” Then he kissed me.

I smiled and pulled away. “I know.” I said, and then kissed him again.

In the background, I could here Rachel going, “Awwwww!”

Now lets just see how long this happiness lasts before I break down again.