Something Better

I opened my bedroom door and looked around the room. My keys were on my desk. I grabbed them and just stood there for a moment. I should probably put on sneakers. I don’t think it’s very wise to walk outside in my slippers.

Yeah, I vote for the sneakers.

I walked over to my closet and took out my black converse. I don’t need anything special, I’m just going over Joe’s house.

Quickly, I ran downstairs and shut the front door and locked it. I turned around to see Joe looking at me in a loving way.

What the hell is wrong with this guy? First, he completely ignores me for a month, and now he wants to be all lovey-dovey to me. I don’t think so!

“Let’s go.” I said and brushed right past him. I didn’t even wait for him to catch up. I started speed-walking over to his house. Finally, I heard footsteps behind me.

“Is something wrong?” He asked me all out of breath. That was the spark to my fireworks.

I stopped walking and turned to him, glaring. “I don’t know, Joe. What do you think? You leave me for a month, not even bothering to answer any of my calls or texts. Now you want to be all nice and cuddly with me?! Why the hell would you think that something isn’t wrong?”

I glared at him. He had a shocked expression on his face, like he wasn’t expecting me to blow up at him like that.

Well, aren’t I just full of surprises.

We just stood there like that for a good two minutes. He opened his mouth to speak, but I cut him off.

“No. Before you speak, I don’t want to hear ‘I’m sorry’ bull-shit. ‘Cause you know what? That’s not enough this time!”

I paused for dramatic effect. He he.

“I’m freaking pregnant, Joe! I don’t know if your ‘guy brain’ didn’t figure it out yet, but you haven’t been a very good father so far. You’re not even there for me anymore. You don’t call to see how I’m doing. You don’t even so much as text me to tell me that you’re busy or that you’re sorry because you can’t talk to me.”

Tears were now starting to fall from my eyes. But that didn’t stop me from continuing.

“It has been a whole month, Joe. A whole month! And you haven’t even tried to make contact with me or the baby! I am now, what, four months pregnant! You missed numerous tests for the baby. You missed the first time it kicked me. You don’t even know how happy I was the first time that happened. Because you know what? You weren’t there!”

Tears were pouring out of my eyes as I sobbed/screamed at Joe. A few tears had also escaped his eyes quietly. Good. He better feel terrible about this.

I fell to the ground and pulled my knees to my chest, sobbing.

Next thing I knew, I felt Joe sit beside me and wrap his arms around my fragile body. I didn’t know it at first, but I really missed being in his arms. It has been quite a while.

I turned towards him and sobbed into his chest, mumbling incoherent words to him. I heard him sniffle above me.

“You’re right. I haven’t been a very good father. I’ve been terrible. I can’t even begin to tell you how horrible I feel about it. I just… I don’t even know what to say.” He said just above a whisper.

My sobs quieted down and I spoke in a weary voice, “You don’t have to say anything, Joe. That’s all I wanted to hear. I wanted you to know how badly you hurt me. I wanted you to understand that I need you here beside me. And so does our child. I love you so much, Joe. It broke my heart from what you did to me.”

Joe brought me on his lap and rocked me back and forth, holding on tightly but gently.

“I love you more than anything. I promise I will always be by your side. Forever.” He said.

We just sat there, crying in the street. I know it sounds cliché, but it was one of the most heartfelt moments I’ve ever had. I never wanted him to let go.