Keep Breathing My Angel

I woke the next morning to the feeling of Craig’s chest rise and fall as my head was rested on his chest with one hand behind his head and the other still rubbing small circles on my stomach.

“Morning”
“Morning beautiful” he said kissing the top of my head
“What?” I questioned turning over on my stomach so I could see him better.
“You are beautiful Bella busted lip and all”
I cringed at the thought of someone think I was beautiful. For some reason it just didn’t sit well with me and Craig noticed lightly kissing the right side of my bottom lip where it was busted, I expected it to hurt but it didn’t and I was thankful
“Why do you cringe?... Bella you have these deep blue eyes that I could, and have been getting totally lost in and when you smile its like the world comes to life a little more”
And I couldn’t help but smile and he just smiled back with an I-told-you-so smile.

“What is it like to have snake bits?” I randomly asked changing the subject
He laughed at me
“Where the hell did that come from? You probably have a thousand things on your mind and you’re asking about snake bites.”
“I don’t want to think about other things even though I know I need to” and I found myself playing with his piercing as he just laid there and watched me.
I turned to look at the time and found it was only 6:50 I needed to talk to my dad and if I could do it before school and before he left for work I might just be able to make it through the day. I felt as though Craig could read my mind or maybe it was just because I stopped playing and tensed up and he could see the tears in my eyes again.

“Do you want me to come with you when you talk to him?”
“No I need to do this one on my own” and I got up and put the clothes I was wearing yesterday back on. Craig stayed in bed watching me until I was done.
“I’ll see you at school okay”
“Bella be careful, don’t say anything that’s going to make him hit you again”

I got to my house and to my luck my dad was in the bathroom I quickly ran to my room and changed into some clean clothes applied my makeup and threw some clothes and makeup into my school bag just in case. In case of what I wondered for a moment before heading into the kitchen to sit in my chair at the table.

My dad came over and sat in his seat, we had never gotten along that well and I never understood why my mother married him but they loved each other and I loved him for that.

“So where were you last night Bella? With that boy im guessing”
“Dad what happened to mum?”
“I told you yesterday there was a car accident, a man ran a red light and hit the drivers side”
“Why didn’t you think to call me to let me know?” I was in tears again and my voice was slowly rising
“Bella there was no hope so I told them to turn it off”
“You didn’t answer my question why didn’t you let me know”
he was yelling now “Because Bella honestly I didn’t think to. I wasn’t worried about you I was only thinking about Mia”
It hurt me to hear him say her name
“Well do you want to know what this looks like to me? It looks as if you don’t care, like it hasn’t hurt you at all and as if you don’t even care about me. I know we have never gotten along but I am your daughter whether you like it or not”
He stood up and came over to where I was standing and I stood up trying to show he didn’t scare me but I had never been more scared in my life.
“You treat me like im a mistake” now I was letting out all the anger I had accumulated for my father over the years
He laughed and it broke my heart
“In all honesty Bella you were a mistake”
“You fucken killed her I hope you know that”

and then he slapped me across the face again with a loud smack and I reached for my face where he had hit me and he grabbed my wrist from my face and held it with such force I thought he was going to shatter all the bones in my wrist.
We just stood there staring at each other until he said
“Since when did you turn into such a piece of trash” and I tried to push him away from me his hand still holding my wrist
“You never knew me to begin with, and you know what she did mum understood me and I love her more then I ever loved you” I said shaking my head trying to will the tears to stop and he let go of my wrist and I thought I may have finally hit a sore spot.
I grabbed my bag and walked out the door.
I got to school on time stopping at the doors to put on what I knew was going to become a mask that I would now have to constantly put on, a brave and happy face that no one would see through and headed straight for the bathroom to fix myself up and re-apply my make up.