Secrets Are Hard To Keep

I shoved up the sleeves of my jumper and wiped my sweaty hands on my jeans. I gripped the black microphone tighter as Joe talked to the crowd. Brooklyn was stood by Big Rob as I jumped up and down trying to psyche myself up.

“Okay guys, this is an old song from our first album.” Kevin said into the microphone as everyone screamed. I swear, it was like a jet starting up. “It’s called ‘I am what I am’!”

Joe sung the start of the first verse and I ran out onto the stage. Everyone was so loud! “I am what I am. I know what I’m not. I’m not the type of girl who doesn’t know how good she’s got it. And I won’t back down, won’t come around. Saying that I’ve change ‘cos that’s not how it’s going down.”

I belted it out as strongly as I could and I walked over to where Nick was. As he was singing the chorus I took his tie off of his neck and he laughed as he sung the start of the second verse. I knew I’d be coming in soon so I wrapped it around my neck.

“I am what I am and nobody else. And if you got a problem better take it somewhere else because I can’t turn back, I’m right on track.” I motioned between Nick and I as I sung the last line, “And if you think you know well then you better check your facts cause I know!”

I pulled the tie from around my neck and tossed it into the audience. I smirked and walked over to Kevin and jumped up and down next to him as they sung the rest of it and I gave my input on the choruses.

We ran through ‘On the line’ and as soon as the last line went off we all had a big group hug and as we were covered Nick kissed my cheek. I smiled at him as he walked back to his microphone. “Julia Beckham everybody!”

To my surprise the screams were booming as I waved to them and walked off of the stage. Brooklyn hugged my legs, “You were amazing, did you see everyone they were all ‘aaaaaaah!’ it was great!” He grinned and jumped up and down and I hugged him tightly. “Ew, you’re sweaty.” He pushed away from me. Oh well, it was nice while it lasted.

* * *

“I'm tellin' you, man, every third blink is slower.” I said in time with Flimore from Cars, “The sixties weren’t good to you were they?” I giggled at my attempt of Sarge’s voice.

“How many times have you seen this movie?” Nick asked incredulously, drumming his fingers against my thigh as I cuddled up to him on the plane seat. We were almost an hour away from New Jersey and everyone was asleep except from us. Nick couldn’t sleep meaning he wouldn’t let me sleep, he suffered the consequences and had to watch Cars with me.

“A few.” I lied and bit my bottom lip. He quickly kissed me and continued to tap my thigh in a steady beat.

“Tell me more about your old school, you don’t talk much about it.” Nick politely asked and I nuzzled my nose against his neck and gently grazed my lips against his neck. “That’s a good distraction, bear.” I sighed, he always caught me.

“I’m not distracting you, what do you want to know?” I asked not moving from his shoulder. He adjusted my position on his lap so my bum was on his left knee instead of his right.

“Tell me about your friends.”

“Well in year seven, which is our first year in secondary, I became best friends with a girl called Ashleigh Robinson at an awards ceremony for students. I was upset because my parents couldn’t come, it would cause too much fuss. I never won the award anyway, she did. We’ve been friends for five years now. She was the only person in the whole school who didn’t give a damn about me being David Beckham’s daughter. She’d just go, ‘I hate football.’ Of course I had other friends who didn’t care but it took them a while, Ashleigh just was pure.

Nick listened closely; not doing so much as to move.

“I was in a group of nine close people including me. Shaun, Nathan, Ann-Marie, Emma, Lewis, Ashleigh, Sean and Keri.” Saying their names felt like such a relief, my heart fluttered. “We sat together, went out together, did everything together. We weren’t the popular group as you would say, but we weren’t bullied. We were just kind of there. It’s surprising how many ‘populars’ came to talk to us just as friends. In my last two years no one got bullied, there were no cliques… just groups of friends, everyone knew everyone and St Hilds was my escape from everything.”

I was silent. Talking about school made me very homesick; I could feel a hole in myself that had never left. “You miss it.” I nodded.

“St Hilds was my heaven on Earth. Whenever I needed to get away from stupid cameras or my family, I stepped into that building and I was me. I was my happy place for six hours, five days a week but I could easily live there.”

“It must have been nice. A change of environment for your escape, mine is always my home but you get sick of seeing it easily.” I wished Nick had a better escape than his own home surely he deserved better than that. “What about prom?”

“Next year, I had to take all my exams early so I could move over here with my parents. You don’t realize how much you love school until you’ve left.” My glum tone was depressing me so god knows how it was affecting Nick. He pulled me closer to him and he nuzzled his nose against mine, I loved his Eskimo kisses.

“Can I meet your friends some day?”

I pondered the idea. The image of Nick and my entire batch of friends were nice; having everyone I love together would be perfect. “Sure.”

My tone ended the conversation and we both began to watch Cars as we felt the plane gradually got lower to the ground.

* * *

We landed at around 1pm so the airport was quite full. We were escorted from the jet straight into a black people carrier and then we drove towards the Jonas Household. Nick and I hadn’t slept so as soon as we got in the car he fell asleep on my shoulder and I fell asleep using his head as a pillow.

When I woke up, a mere fifteen minutes later Nick was still asleep. I slapped my hand over my mouth as I yawned, “Morning sunshine!” Joe chirped.

“It’s afternoon.” Frankie objected from the seat in front of Nick and me. He sat next to Joe as the played against each other on their PSP’s. Kevin sat in the single seat in front of Joe and Denise and Paul were up front.

I could hear Elvis snoring on Nick’s lap. The snoring alerted me to Nick who was still sleeping on my shoulder with his arms locked around my waist. His purity ring glistened in the light pouring through the window. I wasn’t a virgin but I wasn’t gagging for it. I’d lost that when I was 15 to Nathan who was still one of my good friends and to be honest sex isn't as big of a deal as people make it out to be. Nick didn’t need to know that thought because I don’t want him to think any less of me.

“Julia, do you have a coat? It’s cold out.” Denise asked observing I was only wearing a black AC/DC shirt.

“Yeah, I have a hoodie in my bag.” Your sons hoodie. I held in my laughter and went back to gazing at Nicholas’s face. He had great skin, better than mine.

“Joseph, wake Nick up please.” Paul asked and Joe turned around, unscrewing a bottle of water. My eyes widened and I held out my hands in front of the bottle. Joe smirked evilly.

I swallowed, “I’ll do it.” I told him and he pouted.

“No fun.” He mumbled as he turned back around, screwing the lid back on the bottle.

How should I do this? Talk to him. Shake him. Do both? So many choices. I started with a gentle shake which gradually got more rough.

“Humph.” He grumbled and turned over so his head was on my lap.

“Nick, wake up.” I whispered in his ear and kissed just below it. “Nick…” I sung and kissed his cheek. He made no signs for moving. “I’ll push you onto the floor.” I said in the same tone. One eye opened and he glared at me. I smiled innocently and he twisted around so he was looking up at me.

He puckered his lips and closed his eyes. I giggled but gave him a soft kiss, then I licked up from his lips, across his nose to the middle of his forehead. “Gross!” He exclaimed and I giggled.

Joe turned around and laughed as Nick wiped my spit off his face. “Remind me never to ask you to wake me up.” Joe joked and ruffled Nick’s hair.

“Don’t worry about it.” I smiled at Joe who winked at me.

“Are we almost there Mom?” Nick said loudly. He picked his hoodie out of my bag and handed it to me. I sighed but pulled it on anyway.

“Five minutes.” She answered. I pulled my iPhone out of my bag to check the gossip websites.

“Why do you go on these things?” Nick asked as I typed my name into the ‘star seeker.’ “They’re stupid.”

“I’m just curious.” I shrugged, “Someone caught us flying out of L.A. but they think we’re going to the UK to promote.” I giggled, “Idiots.”

“Did the pictures get out of us on the balcony? I don’t check.” Nick trailed his finger up and down my thigh and it was very distracting.

I clamped my hand down on it. He smirked at me and kissed my cheek instead. “And, yes they did.” He sighed. His fingers grazed my neck as he twisted a strand of my hair around his finger. “Perez is very happy.”

Nick laughed loudly. “Wonderful.”

I stared out the window as Nick played on my iPhone. The environment was new to me, the sky was grey but the sun burst through a crack and shone on all the green trees and lawns. Kids innocently played in a park as we grounded to a halt at a stop sign. Joe and Kevin were staring out the window with smiles on their faces as they looked at the place they grew up. It made me want to go back home and sit on top of the old bomb shelters in the stables and stare at the hills as the sun set.

One day I’d share that view with Nick.

We drove a quarter of a mile straight ahead and then turned up onto a drive in front of a normal family house. It was detached with a white colour to it, massive bay windows on the ground floor and a balcony sat above the front door. The roof was washed out grey slate with a window on it indicating they had a loft.

I mindlessly climbed out of the car with my bag over my shoulder and stared at the house. Taking off my blue Ray Bans I stared at the house, “Like it?” Joe asked starling me.

“Yeah.” I answered breathlessly. He laid an arm over my shoulder and stared at it with me.

“I’ve missed this place.” Joe’s voice was filled with happiness. I watched him as he ran into the house behind his father.

I walked to the back of the car and pulled out my case and walked into the house with Nick. “Julia, you’ll be staying in the guest room next to Joseph and opposite Nick. Nick show her up.”

Nick went to take my bag from me, “I can carry it.” I told him. He gave me a stern look and I immediately handed it over to him, “Why do you have to be so difficult?” I snapped as I followed him up the stairs.

“I’m not being difficult, I’m being a gentleman.” He retorted.

When I stepped in the guest room the smell of citrus fruits hit me, I inhaled deeply and smiled. The bed was in the far right corner against the peach coloured walls, the floor was laminated flooring so my heels made a lovely sound against them as I walked over to the bed.

I jumped onto it and it soaked in my weight, I didn’t bounce but I sunk into the mattress. I smiled against the sheets, “This is so nice, come on.” I mumbled and tapped the bed and Nick walked over and laid on his back next to me. I stared at the wall opposite me which had an old oak desk of drawers against it.

As I laid next to Nick in our own little bubble I began to think about the events to come. Meeting his family, thanksgiving, everything. My stomach flipped at the thought. These few days were my chance to solidify my relationship. And I knew that it would either go right or wrong.