Secrets Are Hard To Keep

When I woke up in the morning I was glad to see Nick’s head resting on my stomach, his hands linked around my waist. I wanted a picture so quietly I reached into my bedside drawer and pulled out my digital camera. I held it above us and smiled with all my teeth then snapped the photograph.

I gently woke him up, I stroked his hair softly and whispered in his ear, “Nick, wake up.” He seemed to be waking up when he groaned at me and pulled me close to him like a pillow. Maybe he thought I was a pillow.

“Ten more minutes Mom.” He whispered and pressed his face into my stomach.

I decided to go for my idea of an alarm. I reached to my bed side table and grabbed the half a glass of water, I took a deep breath and threw it in his face. He jumped up off of me and leaned forward letting the water drip onto my bed, he looked up at me through his eye lashes and sent me a look I knew all too well.

I scrambled off the bed and just got stood up before he tackled me to the floor. He used his legs to pin my legs down and held my arms above my head with his two hands. “You’re going to regret that.”

“I’m not.” I laughed then squeaked when he shook all the water onto me. “So what a bit of water?”

Then, very quickly, he leaned down and licked my face from my chin to my hair line. “There.”

“That’s gross Nicholas!” I shouted. I had no way of wiping it off and it was annoying me. “Wipe it off.”

He fake thought for a moment, “No, I’m good.” He held up that argument for seven seconds then he grabbed my shirt and wiped it onto there. He kissed my cheek and climbed off of me.

“Where are you going?” I asked sitting cross legged on the floor.

“I have to check my blood sugar, I’ll meet you downstairs for breakfast.” He wandered out my room and I stayed on the floor.

Then it hit me like a ton of bricks. My head was pounding but I’d just been too occupied with spit to notice it. I wandered into the bathroom and took some headache tablets. My shower lasted quite a while but my hair never took long to dry. I put my hair into two plats either side of the nape of my neck with my top layers out hanging on the side of my head. Who wears them high anymore?

I skipped into my bedroom and picked out an outfit. I chose a green floor length dress with thin spaghetti straps and a pair of white flat sandals with a black bikini under it. I picked out a pair of black rimmed circular sunglasses with a black and grey faded screen on them. I put them on my head buried in my wavy, scrunched hair and smiled at myself in the mirror.

I decided my face needed a break so I was wearing no make up today. I grabbed my bag from my sofa and made my way down to the breakfast room of the hotel. I told them my name and they led me to a large room which held a buffet, my family and the whole of the Jonas’s.

I grabbed a bagel and headed over to the spare seat on the long table next to Maya, she was wearing a pair of large sunglasses and was only drinking orange juice. I couldn’t help but laugh. I handed her two tablets from my bag and watched her take them then shove her sunglasses onto the top of her head.

“I don’t think drinking was a good idea.” She whispered and took a bit of my bagel.

“Nope, I almost drown and would have died if Joe didn’t follow me.” I told her, she shot me a panicked look. “But I didn’t.” She just shook her head and stood up.

“Those bagels are good.” I followed her over to the buffet but went to the opposite end to get some coffee. I spotted my Mum coming over to me, I smiled at her and she smiled back.

“Hey sweetie, haven’t seen much of you this holiday.” She noted.

“I know, Nick and stuff.” I chuckled and pressed the button for a black coffee.

“Speaking of Nick, I’ll pretend I didn’t see him sneak out of your room this morning for the sake of your father’s heart.” She chuckled and grabbed a few pots of jam. She kissed my cheek and then headed back to feed the wild beasts.

Next to bother me was Joe. “Hey.”

“Hello.” I answered pouring some sugar into my coffee. “Thanks for last night.” I said again.

“Don’t worry about it.” He smiled and ruffled my hair. I pouted and put it back in place as he walked away with some butter. I headed back to the table, grabbing a banana as I went, and sat down next to Nick who was opening his diabetes case.

“Nick.” I sung, he continued to pull out his kit.

“Yes…” He sung back in my tone of voice.

“Can I prick your finger?” I’d seen him do it lots of times. He handed me a device of some sort and showed me what to do, I took his finger and pricked it then wiped the blood on the testing strip and handed it to Nick. “You can eat.” I announced as his glucose reader read a proper amount.

He just shook his head at me and laughed as he put everything away. “You’re so adorable.” He told me and kissed my cheek.

“Dad, are we doing the shark cage thing today?”

I was desperate to go, he said he’d do it with me but I think he’d changed his mind. “Sorry kiddo, I’m taking the kids and your Mum shopping.”

“I’ll do it with you.” Nick suggested, I raised my eye brow at him, “I’ll be fine.”

“But you don’t like sharks.”

“You do.” I couldn’t stop the smile from appearing on my face, I dropped my head hiding behind my hair for a moment until I controlled myself. I ate my bagel as everyone talked loudly to one another, passing things over the table and tossing toast like Frisbees to each other like animals.

Once everyone was finished I said goodbye to my parents and brothers and then we all headed for the shark tank. I was really excited, Nick was trying to be but I could tell he was shitting himself.

We were told we were going to use their specially designed cage, which wasn’t actually a cage. It was a glass container with massive balls around the edges to keep it afloat along with chains to pull it up in case of an emergency. We didn’t even need to put on wet suits, all we needed was ourselves. I would do the cage with my Dad.

“So, we’re going in a clear glass giant glass thingy in a pool with over thirty sharks correct?” I nodded to Nick, “And how thick is this glass?”

“Eight inches, and it’s not class it’s a special kind of plastic. Glass would shatter too easily.” I told him as we prepared to get into the glass container. “You don’t have to come in with me.” I told him, “You don’t need to be brave.”

“Stop trying to change my mind.” I sighed in defeat and walked into the glass container through the specially designed suction door. Nick followed me and we sat down cross legged on the bottom of the container. We were lifted into the air and the gradually placed in the water.

Sharks swam all around us, so swiftly but slowly, powerfully but still graciously. I was well aware of the people watching Nick and I through the aquarium glass wall but we ignored them and focused on the sharks. Or I did.

“Nick, stop holding your breath. You’ll die.” I giggled and he let out a breath. “Look.” I pointed to underneath us just as a shark swam under it. “Aren’t they beautiful?”

“Killing machines, yes, wonderful.” Nick said sarcastically.

“You should leave the sarcasm to me, it doesn’t suit you.” I sighed and continued, “Look at them, moving so graciously and firmly. How can you not think that’s beautiful? Something so powerful moving like that, afraid of nothing. I envy them.”

I saw Nick thinking about it as I watched them move in close proximity of the container. “I never thought of it like that.”

“Not many people do.” That concluded the conversation. We just sat and watched the sharks swim around together in perfect harmony.

These weren’t killers, just survivors.

* * *

I was sad when our little holiday ended, I could have quite happily have stayed over there for a lot longer. But it was nearing Christmas, shopping had to be done and the Jonas Brothers had a concert in Mexico City.

I was having so much trouble finding presents for Nick, I’d only manages to find him a new belt, a new set of golf clubs and a new iPod chromatic to replace his scratched old one which is hardly satisfactory. I’d tried to get his Mum to give me some hints but she said she’d bought him everything he’d mentioned to her.

I walked down the high street, looking for even more presents. It was now only six days until Christmas so I was looking for presents for friends and family. I’d bought my Mum some crème de la mere and a new pair of Jimmy Choo shoes which I designed and got made for her. I’d gotten an assortment of gaming devices and toys for my brothers to all share, they never keep things to themselves anyways. For my Dad I got him a new phone to replace his old one and a new suit.

I was doing well, I had bought a new watch for Joseph and for Kevin I had gotten him a new man bag which I’m sure he would appreciate. For Frankie, I bought him a new house for his turtles. All of which have been confirmed to be worthy by Denise.

But Nick, oh Nick, he was torturing me with dismay.

I never knew buying for your boyfriend could be this hard! I’d been in every shop I could think of and nothing was good enough. I was currently in Tiffany and co for the second time today.

“I need something that is unique but can be made personal.” I told the manager who had come out to help me all because I’m me.

“Well, is this for a boy?” I nodded and she walked across the store and came back with a selection of necklaces and bracelets for men. I spotted a leather bracelet, it was twisted but had a rectangle of emptiness attached to it. It was plain, simple and easy. “We engrave onto the pendant, if you could call it that.”

“And I can get whatever I want on it?” She nodded, this was perfect. It was something Nick could wear daily like I wear his watch and he wears my hair band but it’s more practical, he can go anywhere with this on. “That’s perfect.” I smiled and grabbed my purse from my bag.

“So, what would you like engraving?” The manager asked clicking her pen.

“On the front I’d like just the word ‘Promise’ and on the back just my first name.” I told her and tucked my fringe back into its clip on the side of my head. I felt better now knowing that Nick would have my promise to him in object form, it made it more official and having my name on the back would remind him of me. “Can I have my writing on it?”

“Of course.” I wrote down the two words on a piece of paper and was told they could trace it easily. “When would you like to pick it up?”

“Tomorrow.” She looked up at me like I was insane. This was a time when my fame comes in handy, “I’m sure that’s not a problem for such a company like yours.”

She bit her lip and scribbled on the paper, “Of course not.” I smiled to my self and handed her my card.

I handed my bags to Dean and headed out the shop. I stopped to sign and take pictures with fans that were waiting on the side walk, all were asking about an album of some sort. One was brave enough to ask about the Bahamas but Dean thankfully pulled me away before I could answer.

I was meeting Nick and the boys at Ellen. We were doing an appearance all together and were prepared for everything including relationships. It was going to be a sticky situation no matter how much we rehearsed everything. I was performing two songs alone which I was nervous about especially because ‘She falls asleep’ had never even been heard by anyone other than my self and I had to play piano in it. And to add to the pressure a massive string band would be there. All in all, I was shitting my pants.

When I arrived at the studios I was let in through the back and shown to my dressing room which Dean stood outside of to stop people coming in as I changed into my TV outfit Nick had chosen for me.

I was wearing a flowing waist high forest green skirt and a short sleeved blouse, Nick had insisted that I wore my Grandmothers emerald broach and had based the outfit around it. It pinned at the neck of my blouse in place of a tie, my top button was done up and my shoes occupied a four inch pair of Christian Louboutin shoes. They were black with leather padded soles so I could walk easily.

Make up artists did my face so it was soft, ivory foundation was applied to my skin and black mascara was all that was put on my eyes to make me appear more vulnerable, I don’t know what they were on about. Red lipstick was spread on my lips which I told them to take it off, I was wearing a green broach and a green skirt so I don’t know what they were thinking.

The hair stylist curled my hair loosely and tucked my fringe under, it looked very vintage and I loved it. Once they both left I applied my signature liquid eye liner stripe on my top eye lid. I put some moisturiser on my legs to stop them from looking dry and then I just lounged about waiting for Nick to come.

It was a relief when he eventually did, “I should dress you more often.” Nick smirked and kissed my cheek before walking further into my dressing room to let his brothers through.

“Hey.” Joe waved and gave me a hug, and then Kevin gave me a hug too. “You got McDonalds!” Joe exclaimed and ran over to the table in front of my sofas. “How?”

“It’s called a rider.” I laughed and walked over to Nick who was stood messing with all my cosmetics. “I’m almost your height.” I grinned at him and kissed him easier than I ever had before.

“I like it when you’re smaller than me.” He pouted. I took off one of my shoes and bent my leg which still had the shoe on so I was my normal height. “Better.” He chuckled and bent down to kiss my lips softly. I shoved my foot back into my shoe and stood up properly bringing Nick up with me.

When I pulled away from Nick I spotted Joe eating my fries and I rolled my eyes. “Pig.” I said purposely loud enough so he could hear. He scowled at me and shoved multiple fries in his mouth all at once.

I took this time to look over Nick’s outfit, a simple maroon button down shirt and some black skinny jeans. The shirt showed off his muscular arms which I was fond of and the pants with his brown shoes showed of his toned thighs. In his pockets I could see his iPhone and his Blackberry poking over the edges.

We hung out for around an hour before being called to get ready. We stood in a confined space for around five minutes as we all prepared to walk out. “Our next guests consist of the most famous brothers in the world, the Jonas Brothers.” Screaming interrupted Ellen, “And we also have the rising star Julia Beckham with us too.” I was surprised the screams for me were even there. “Please welcome Julia Beckham and the Jonas brothers!”