You Are My Favorite Joke

That night The Joker made me sleep on the floor because of my manners but at the middle of the night he carried me to the bed. He’s some kind of bipolar, I don’t know. I have been feeling sick for hours now, I’m in the bathroom floor, it’s around 7 am, The Joker is sleeping or at least he seemed to be.

“Ashley?” I heard him call

“Bathroom.” I answered puking inside the toilet again while The Joker appeared on the door with no makeup

“Are you sick?” He asked kneeling beside me grabbing my hair

“I don’t know, I’ve been feeling nauseous for some time.” I replied breathing heavily, I hated being sick

The Joker’s eyes widened, I had never seen such expression in his face.

“Hold on a minute.” He said standing up

He came back a few moments later with a pregnancy test.

“Do it.” He said

“I’m not pregnant!” I protested

“News flash sweets: I didn’t use anything.” The Joker said smiling at me

“You didn’t?!” I said starting to panic

“Are you stupid? For a master mind psycho, man I can’t be pregnant.” I yelled

"Yes you can.” He said laughing at my despair

I groaned and I grabbed the stupid test.

“Get out. I need privacy.” I said

The Joker waved his hands in the air smiling hysterically. I sat on the toilet, with my hands in my head. I’m so fucked up I thought even before doing the test. I looked at the box and I opened it carefully, I tried to contain my willing of screaming and breaking everything.

I did the test, I waited for the thing to turn into some color and it turned pink. PINK I yelled at myself.

“FUCK NO!” I yelled punching and breaking the glass mirror across me.

How am I going to tell Jokie? I thought. He would either kill me or use this kid to kill me, so in the two cases I would end up dead. I got myself up from the floor and I tried to prepare myself to say it. I slowly opened the door and The Joker was sitting in his desk facing the bathroom’s door. He didn’t moved, he was only staring.

“So?” He asked

I paused on my walking, I was shaking. For the first time in many months I feared him, like I did in the beginning.

“I’m sick” I started

“You are lying.” The Joker said standing up, stopping in front of me

“Come on angel, just say it.” He encouraged.

“I’m sick. The test came out negative.” I repeated looking at my own feet..

The Joker grabbed my face and he studied my eyes with his eyebrow raised.

“You are lying but I’m going to find out why.” The Joker said going towards the bathroom.

There was no way my kid was going to grow up in this place. Besides I can’t have a child whose father is a sociopath wanted for all of Gotham, it can’t be.

But thinking again, I had sex with Bruce too, does this mean that he can be the father? Oh where have I put myself into? It’s too late to tell The Joker that he might or might not be the father and I don’t see Bruce for weeks.

I’m not courageous enough to tell him, I can’t. I’m too scared. I stood up quickly and I started to pack, I had to run, anywhere would be fine. I had to be far.

Well running was a problem. If any of the henchmen saw me, they would tell and The Joker would be furious but there is one person who can help me, Red. I dressed some clothes quickly and I went searching for Red

“Red you have to help me.” I whispered grabbing his wrist

“What happened Ashley?” He asked me

“I need to run away.” I said

“I thought you loved The Joker.” Red said

“I do but there is someone who needs me.” I said looking at my stomach

Red’s eyes widened.

“Please keep it a secret.” I begged

“Of course.” Red nodded with his head

“I’ll help you. That child deserves a future.” Red said looking at me with a disappointed face

I smiled at him and I grabbed my things. Tears started to go down my cheeks it felt like my heart had stayed behind. The Joker stole it and he will never give it back.

Minutes later I was in a suburb of Gotham.

“You better put this, police is looking for you.” Red said giving me his jacket

“Good luck Ash.” Red said kissing my forehead.

I sighed and I started walking towards nowhere. I couldn’t just show up at someone’s house. I didn’t have any money so I took my lucky shot and I went towards Bruce’s mansion.

“Yes.” Alfred said opening the door

“Hello Alfred.” I said taking my hoodie off, his face changed, it seemed like if he had just seen a ghost

“Ashley? Get in dear.” He said pulling me inside gently while I heard someone come down the stairs

“Alfred, Jim called apparently another rubbery I’ll be back… around dinner.” Bruce said finally noticing me

I stood not daring to move, I wasn’t expecting a welcome party.

“Ashley?” Bruce said running towards me embraced me tightly

I let go of my bad I hugged him back.

“We looked for you everywhere. What did he do to you? Did you run?” Bruce asked

“I ran away.” I said while Bruce caressed my face

I didn’t feel guilty, I felt stupid. I was using the same trick over and over and Bruce always fell. Why did The Joker make me the best?