Learning to Fall
Not The Monster I Think I Am
(Martin’s POV)
“Thank you for doing this. It’s so weird. Everything has become so weird now.” Alex replied as I followed her into the kitchen.
I just let her talk. I still thought that this was a bad idea for me to be here. I mean I want to keep her safe but I could do that outside by patrolling around her house. This…this is something I’m not sure I can handle.
“Well, this is the kitchen but I guess this is pointless to you since you don’t eat or drink anything but…” She trailed off as she reached for a glass out of a cabinet.
“Look, this is awkward for me. I really shouldn’t be here. I still think I could help keep a lookout from outside.” I managed to get out as I watched her fill her glass with water from the kitchen sink.
“You said you would stay until I fall asleep. I mean, I am still all jittery here. First, my boyfriend goes missing, and then I learn there are vampires. Knowing that is a lot to process and take in, mind you, and then my boyfriend who was going to be my fiancé shows up as a blood sucking fiend from beyond the grave. Cut me some slack here Martin. I don’t know how to feel. Part of me wants to grieve. Another part wants to feel fear, and another feels anger.” Alex sighed.
I watched as she sipped her water from her glass. I saw how her veins in her neck reacted. I could see the pulse in her neck. My mind started to drift elsewhere.
“Martin?” She said sitting her glass down and coming towards me. I could hear her but my mind was elsewhere.
“Martin?” Alex replied as she snapped her fingers and snapped me out of my trance.
“I knew this was a bad idea.” I replied turning to head towards the door. I was thinking about biting Alex’s neck. I really wanted to.
“What? No. What’s wrong?” She said grabbing my arm.
“This.” I said flashing my fangs as she stepped back. “As you were drinking your water, I wanted to taste you. I saw your veins and how your pulse moved. I wanted to bite you. I told you I shouldn’t be here. I can’t trust myself around you.” I said trying to get Alex to understand.
“Martin, please don’t go.” She said pouting and staring at me with her blue eyes that were pleading to me. She looked just like…
“Why me?” I asked.
“I don’t understand.” She replied.
“Alex, why do you trust me? I am a vampire; a monster just like the others.” I stated.
“You want to know why I trust you.” She reiterated.
“Yeah, I’m just a stranger to you who happened to save your life while I was out on patrol with my friends a few nights ago. Even with meeting in the park last night, we barely know each other.” I replied.
Alex walked dangerously close to me and placed her left hand on the right side of my face. She stroked my cheek and then smiled. How could I not resist that smile? Alex could say or do anything and I wanted to protect her. She has a way of slowly melting that wall in my heart I try to keep up. I can’t let her as much as I want her to.
“You may be a stranger but I feel like I have known you forever. I can’t explain it. Technically, strangers don’t talk or head up to the hospital when someone needs their help, so I think you have moved up to the friend level now that I think about it.” She laughed.
“Martin, you may think you are going to hurt me but you won’t. You won’t allow yourself to go there, no matter how many times you look at my neck and want a bite. Go ahead.” She said tilting her neck out some.
“We’ve been through this already in the park last night. So what are you waiting for?” She asked.
I looked in her eyes and then at her neck. I was resisting the urge but it was a fight. I shook my head and pulled away from her.
“You call yourself a monster. Why, because you drink blood? Well, monsters I don’t like. Friends I do like. You, I like. Martin, you are not a monster. You’re different. You aren’t like the rest of the vampires. I think I have it figured out.” Alex said as she walked back into the foyer.
“Oh, you do, huh?” I said following her as she opened up a closet and took out a blanket and pillow.
“Martin, monsters don’t go out protecting people from things that go bump in the night. You protect your friends and the ones you love, I assume. Your friends are very loyal to you. I can tell that they would do anything for you. I believe what makes you not a monster is your soul. Sure, it’s a battle or struggle for you not to let the monster out, but your soul is what is keeping you who you are. So, when you were turned, your soul refused to die and it ignites and defines who you are; not a monster.” Alex said as she made me a spot on her couch in the living room.
“You are a hero that many don’t know, yet you probably save every night by killing vampires you find. To me, I find you to be a very noble person and someone I am willing to call friend. Therefore, I can tell you that I trust you and know I can.” Alex smiled. Then she kissed my cheek.
“Think on that.” She replied as she turned and headed upstairs for bed.
I smiled and lied down on the couch. I placed my hands under my head and closed my eyes. I wasn’t tired but I was replaying everything that Alex had said in my head. I am different then the others. Maybe I am not the monster I think I am after all.
How does Alex do it? How does she make me fall, no I am not falling for her. I can’t let my guard down. I won’t let myself fall in love again. I promise I will protect Alex with my life. If I let myself get too close to her I will lose her. I can’t lose her like I lost Sara.
“Thank you for doing this. It’s so weird. Everything has become so weird now.” Alex replied as I followed her into the kitchen.
I just let her talk. I still thought that this was a bad idea for me to be here. I mean I want to keep her safe but I could do that outside by patrolling around her house. This…this is something I’m not sure I can handle.
“Well, this is the kitchen but I guess this is pointless to you since you don’t eat or drink anything but…” She trailed off as she reached for a glass out of a cabinet.
“Look, this is awkward for me. I really shouldn’t be here. I still think I could help keep a lookout from outside.” I managed to get out as I watched her fill her glass with water from the kitchen sink.
“You said you would stay until I fall asleep. I mean, I am still all jittery here. First, my boyfriend goes missing, and then I learn there are vampires. Knowing that is a lot to process and take in, mind you, and then my boyfriend who was going to be my fiancé shows up as a blood sucking fiend from beyond the grave. Cut me some slack here Martin. I don’t know how to feel. Part of me wants to grieve. Another part wants to feel fear, and another feels anger.” Alex sighed.
I watched as she sipped her water from her glass. I saw how her veins in her neck reacted. I could see the pulse in her neck. My mind started to drift elsewhere.
“Martin?” She said sitting her glass down and coming towards me. I could hear her but my mind was elsewhere.
“Martin?” Alex replied as she snapped her fingers and snapped me out of my trance.
“I knew this was a bad idea.” I replied turning to head towards the door. I was thinking about biting Alex’s neck. I really wanted to.
“What? No. What’s wrong?” She said grabbing my arm.
“This.” I said flashing my fangs as she stepped back. “As you were drinking your water, I wanted to taste you. I saw your veins and how your pulse moved. I wanted to bite you. I told you I shouldn’t be here. I can’t trust myself around you.” I said trying to get Alex to understand.
“Martin, please don’t go.” She said pouting and staring at me with her blue eyes that were pleading to me. She looked just like…
“Why me?” I asked.
“I don’t understand.” She replied.
“Alex, why do you trust me? I am a vampire; a monster just like the others.” I stated.
“You want to know why I trust you.” She reiterated.
“Yeah, I’m just a stranger to you who happened to save your life while I was out on patrol with my friends a few nights ago. Even with meeting in the park last night, we barely know each other.” I replied.
Alex walked dangerously close to me and placed her left hand on the right side of my face. She stroked my cheek and then smiled. How could I not resist that smile? Alex could say or do anything and I wanted to protect her. She has a way of slowly melting that wall in my heart I try to keep up. I can’t let her as much as I want her to.
“You may be a stranger but I feel like I have known you forever. I can’t explain it. Technically, strangers don’t talk or head up to the hospital when someone needs their help, so I think you have moved up to the friend level now that I think about it.” She laughed.
“Martin, you may think you are going to hurt me but you won’t. You won’t allow yourself to go there, no matter how many times you look at my neck and want a bite. Go ahead.” She said tilting her neck out some.
“We’ve been through this already in the park last night. So what are you waiting for?” She asked.
I looked in her eyes and then at her neck. I was resisting the urge but it was a fight. I shook my head and pulled away from her.
“You call yourself a monster. Why, because you drink blood? Well, monsters I don’t like. Friends I do like. You, I like. Martin, you are not a monster. You’re different. You aren’t like the rest of the vampires. I think I have it figured out.” Alex said as she walked back into the foyer.
“Oh, you do, huh?” I said following her as she opened up a closet and took out a blanket and pillow.
“Martin, monsters don’t go out protecting people from things that go bump in the night. You protect your friends and the ones you love, I assume. Your friends are very loyal to you. I can tell that they would do anything for you. I believe what makes you not a monster is your soul. Sure, it’s a battle or struggle for you not to let the monster out, but your soul is what is keeping you who you are. So, when you were turned, your soul refused to die and it ignites and defines who you are; not a monster.” Alex said as she made me a spot on her couch in the living room.
“You are a hero that many don’t know, yet you probably save every night by killing vampires you find. To me, I find you to be a very noble person and someone I am willing to call friend. Therefore, I can tell you that I trust you and know I can.” Alex smiled. Then she kissed my cheek.
“Think on that.” She replied as she turned and headed upstairs for bed.
I smiled and lied down on the couch. I placed my hands under my head and closed my eyes. I wasn’t tired but I was replaying everything that Alex had said in my head. I am different then the others. Maybe I am not the monster I think I am after all.
How does Alex do it? How does she make me fall, no I am not falling for her. I can’t let my guard down. I won’t let myself fall in love again. I promise I will protect Alex with my life. If I let myself get too close to her I will lose her. I can’t lose her like I lost Sara.