Just to Hold You Close and Tight

I woke up in a bad mood, because my alarm had woken me up from a wonderful dream, although I couldn’t grasp what it was about. My grumpiness subsided when I remembered I wouldn’t be going to school alone, even though everyone else would see it that way. I was going with a friend, and I like how that sounded.

I threw on some jeans and a striped tee shirt. I brushed my red hair and pulled it up out of my face. Finally I got downstairs.

“You’re up earlier today,” my mom pointed out. She was sitting at the table and drinking coffee. I poured some of my own into a mug, added cream and sugar, and poured myself a bowl of cereal.

My mom looked at me suspiciously as I stuffed my cereal into my mouth and gulped down the coffee, not worrying about burning my tongue.

“Why are you in such a hurry?” she asked. “You’re early.”

I swallowed a mouthful of cereal before saying, “I’m not in a hurry, and I’m up early because I decided to walk to school.”

“Oh,” she said shortly, returning to her laptop.

At least it was only partly a lie. I was walking to school, but I was also in a hurry. I was just wondering where and when Ray would show up, when he appeared through the wall and stood at the side of the table.

He waved at me and said, “Hi. Remember, though. She can’t hear or see me, but she can see and hear you perfectly. Be careful.”

I stifled the urge to wave and gave a slight smile and a small nod, without looking at him. I jumped from my chair, put my bowl in the dishwasher, and grabbed my backpack. I thought for a second to make sure I didn’t forget anything, and then headed out the door.

Ray walked next to me on the sidewalk. “Did you sleep well?” he asked.

I looked around to make sure nobody was close enough to hear me. “Very well,” I replied. Then I smiled. “And you?”

He didn’t smile back like I had been hoping. “I wish,” was all he said.

“I was just kidding, but fine then. How was your sleepless night?” I asked a little irritably. I guess the bad mood hadn’t entirely worn off from the disturbance of my wonderful dream.

“It wasn’t the worst,” he admitted, a little more cheerfully.

“What did you do?”

I wasn’t sure if it was just the way the light hit him, if I was imagining things, or if he could actually blush, no matter how subtle it was.

“I was just looking at the stars and thinking all night,” he said reluctantly, like he didn’t want me to know. This made me think it was the complete truth.

“Wow,” I said. I couldn’t really imagine Ray just laying on the ground, staring up at the stars, and thinking all night. At least not the Ray that was walking next to me, the empty-looking shell. I could, however, imagine the hidden Ray, the one I only got short glimpses of, doing just that.

Then a girl who was probably a few years younger than me turned a corner and ended up right in front of us. I sighed inwardly and tried to walk slower, but she was also walking slow.

I kept myself from yelling at her to hurry up by examining Ray. I realized that he was wearing lighter jeans and a different shirt. This confused me, so I whispered questioningly, “Your clothes?” Luckily, the girl in front of me didn’t hear me.

“As soon as I put them on, people can’t see them,” he explained.

I shook my head and sighed. The ghost thing was more complicated than he let me believe. However, I couldn’t risk talking too much with the girl right in front of my, so I remained silent.

“Do you mind if I go to your classes with you?” Ray asked as we walked into the school.

I smiled and shook my head. I didn’t mind at all. This was going to be an interesting day.