Reflections

Tied and bound once more to my bed. The leather straps now warm from my body heat, held me immobile. It was all an illusion. Alex said I would get worse and here I am going backwards. My heart was painful with backed up emotion. Where's another IV when you need one?

"Try a real noose." Revenge said.

"I wish I had one." I mumbled.

"No you don't." Parade said harshly.

"I do, I really do." tears sprang to my eyes and they began their decent down my cheeks.

"What about Frank?" Red asked.

"He's not coming back, he's scared of me." I cried.

"Bob?" Parade asked.

"He hates me."

"Ray?"

"For fucks sake, I haven't seen him in years!" I sobbed. My nose was beginning to run. Death seemed so bitter sweet at this point. What was after being tied up? Drugs? Suicide? Whatever the doctors decided I guess... unless I had plans of leaving this world.

"Yes you do." revenge cut into my thoughts. The door opened to reveal Alex. She walked into the room and sat on the edge of my bed.

"How are you feeling?" she asked.

"Like shit." I answered. She didn't smile this time.

"I'm going to ask a few other doctors for their opinions on what I should give you if not Thorazine." I nodded. "You do know none of these drugs are free?" I nodded again.

"What else can I do but pay?"

"I can ask about that as well." she sighed. Her usually bright hazel eyes were now a murky green and seemed saddened by this situation. "Listen Gerard, I will find a way to make you live like you once did. I know who you are." her eyes didn't blink.

"So your a fan?" she nodded. A smile smile broke through.

"Always have been always will be." she stood up from the bed and walked out of the room without another word.