Got Hate? Try Love!

The venue was pretty small this time and there was only one locker room. So Avenged and P. Roach all shared the same room. I was sitting a couch watching Zacky across the room cradle Regi in his arms. I could've fucking sworn he told me he wanted me and not her. I watched, completely envious of her. I was madly in love with him and I had been for awhile. I think she knew I would fall in love with him and like Brian said, she wanted something I didn't and couldn't have.

After starring at them and trying to hold back jealous tears, Brian sat beside me and threw his arm around me.

"I hate her so much." I said through my teeth, trying not to allow a tear to slip.

"Are you...Are you crying?" Brian asked in shock.

"Yes, Brian I'm about to cry. Now can you---."

"What's there to cry about, Britt? Tell me because that's nothing." He said while pointing to Zack and Regi.

"I hate seeing him hold her and look at her like he loves her. How can he say he doesn't love her but give her such loving looks? Fucking look at that Brian, and tell me he doesn't love her."

Brian looked down and placed his finger on his lip.

"I done with this fake I love you shit. I'm done. I'll never be as good as her and he'll never want me." I said in almost a whisper.

I got up quickly and walked past them in a rush so neither one of them could see me upset. It would give my sister to much satisfaction to know that she upset me. I mean she use to be sort of nice but now that she suspects a lot between me and her fake boyfriend, she's been out to get me.

I walked out the back door leading to the buses and sat against the wall. I pulled out a cigarette and buried my face in my hands.

"Hey, are you okay? You like fucking bullet speed walked past me." Zack said with a slight chuckle.

I keep my face covered because I couldn't hold back the tears of jealousy that were falling down my face.

He bent down and rubbed my back.

"Listen, Britt I'm going to end it....I promise." He said.

I slowly looked up and wiped my tears quickly.

"Can I ask you a question? And can you be 100% honest with me?"

"Yeah, go 'head..."

"If you don't love her, then why do you look at her like that?" I asked.

"What do you mean?"

"Why do you look at her like you love her so much, more than anything and you'd want to spend the rest of your life with her?"

".....I don't. I love you. I really do. I'm just scared to end it fully with her." He said as he stood back up.

"So you're going to keep me waiting? Zack, I'm so jealous of her. What do you see in her? If I looked like her and acted like her would you want to be with me more?"

"You're talking crazy now. I want to be with you okay. If you can't take that as it is then maybe I'm old enough for my wants not to hurt me." He said, casting me a serious look. "Now let's go back inside, I have to sound check. But think about what I said." He continued.

As I stood up, he laced our fingers and kissed my hand. We walked down the hallway towards the dressing room. Regina just so happened to be walking down the same hallway we were.

"So you're fucking around with her again, Zack?" She shouted as she walked up closer.

"Now or never." He said under his breath.

"Huh? Say it louder! You're a fucking good for nothing, fat ass, worthless, ugly bastard, and if you fucking think you can get with her? Oh, well fuck that. Britt, leave right fucking now!" She yelled.

Zack looked down when she spoke to him like that and I could tell her words hurt his feelings.

"Did that fucking hurt your feelings?" She yelled as she waved a hand in his face.

He looked up and grabbed her hand.

"Get your shit out of my fucking house. I want you out for good! Out of our house and our life." He yelled in her face.

"Our?" She began to sob.

When she said 'our,' Zack lifted his and my laced fingers in the air.

"Yes. Ours as in me and Britt's. Your sister."

I was completely shocked and dumbfounded but a smile managed to smear on my lips. Regina started to bust out in tears and yelling before she left.

Part of Zack's face expression looked like he was happy what he had done but the other part looked like he still wanted to hold her.

"Let's, let's go in the locker room...." He said quietly as he watched her leave.

We remained holding hands but the grip had loosened. We continued down the hall and noticed that Brian and Matt had heard and saw the whole thing. Brian had a smirk on and wink at me with a 'I told you so' expression, while Matt just looked as shocked as I was. I stopped Zacky and look him in the eye.

"Are you okay?" I asked.

"Yeah, I'm just a little off balanced." He said with a confused expression.

"I'm going to go and make sure she's---."

"Are you sure you want to do that?" He asked, surprised.

"Yes" I said with a devilish smirk.

"I love you and make sure you hurry back, okay?"

I paused completely. He had just given me the look. The look that told me he loved me.

"We'll talk later tonight after the show." He continued.

"I love you to.

I walked out of the venue and out to the parking lot to get ready to trace my sister. This was the last show in our home state. I was going to get to be there to hug him after the show and that meant alto.