Got Hate? Try Love!
Solitude
The dead silence that had sneaked it's way into the kitchen from the living room, was smothering me. I wanted to disappear off to my room but I realized that I would have to go past the living room, where Zacky and Regi were, to get to my room. Life is hilarious. She always has it her way and I think my pure misery right now, has her laughing on her bitchy ass. Why was I being so fucking spazzy over the quietness? Maybe it's because I was starting to grow closer to Zack. And of course, Regi with her amazing timing, had to interrupt the bond that was beginning between Zacky and I.
I sat there and debated on my next move but it was about to be made up for me. The door, connecting the living room and the kitchen, opened and they both walked in...HOLDING HANDS. My eyes were in a state of transformed desire. That was me holding his hand earlier, not her. My desire to be where she was, bought back my hatred for the both of them, that had been absent when it was just me and Zack hanging out.
"Hey sis, Zack and I have decide that we are going to get back together." Regina said with a poisonous smile.
"Uhmm, and? Were you expecting a fucking award for that or something?" I spat back as I charged upstairs to my room.
As soon as I got up to my room, I blasted 'Where Eagles Dare' by The Misfits. I was fucking pissed! She's a cheating bitch and he still fucking wants her. What's it got to take for this dumb ass to dump her? Fuck jealousy! I was completely enraged with hate and envy, and I was ready to unleash it all on whoever tried to talk to me.
I laid on my bed, looking up at the ceiling, trying not to cry.
Jesus, I hang out with the guy for like a day by ourselves and I develop feelings for him. Wait, what the fuck are you thinking, Brittney! You don't care about that fat bastard and you never did, so stop lying to yourself. I mumbled to myself.
Truth is, is that I was starting to like the fact that it was me and Zack hanging out with no Regina. She just ruins everything in my life. She always got what I wanted and was always liked more by people, for what reason I don't know...She probably fucked them to.
"Psst....Hey, can we talk?" Zack whispered as he walked in my room and turned the music down.
"NO! And why are you whispering?"
"Because I don't want Regi to hear me!" He spoke at his natural vocal level.
"Well get the fuck out of my room and go fuck her!" I shouted.
He shut my door and came over to sit on the edge of my bed. He was looking at the fury that danced around my eyes.
"Don't you know what get the fuck out means? I really want to be left alone, okay?"
"We need to talk and we're going to talk whether you like it or not!" His eyes still gazed at mine.
"Well then start talking...."
"I'm glad you were there for me but I uh well I uh I love Regi..." He sounded hesitant when he said he loved her. "And I don't want you to think I've been trying to lead you on in these past couple of days."
I sat up and rubbed my eyebrows and forehead. I couldn't help but feel a little disappointed.
"The kiss, well It didn't mean anything to me. It was to make me feel better." He continued. He leaned in to hug me but I pushed him off.
"Don't fucking hug me because you might come back to me and say it meant nothing." I said staring at his hands. "She fucking cheated on you, Zack and you still want her don't you? You still fucking love her!" I half shouted.
"I love her! You can't just give up on someone you love!" He shouted standing up. As he was about to make his way out my room, I needed to say something to him but I knew I would regret it.
"Well, I'm giving up on you." I said turning around so he couldn't read the emotion on my face. "Now get out."
I heard him let out a grunt and then he walked out of my room. I got up and slammed my door shut, in frustration. Tomorrow and the days to follow, would be the most uncomfortable days of my life. I hate her and I hate him! I will move out and my sister will not and cannot stop me. I needed to deprive myself of my jealousy and rage. I needed to deprive myself of my sister and especially Zack. Isolation must be put in order.
I sat there and debated on my next move but it was about to be made up for me. The door, connecting the living room and the kitchen, opened and they both walked in...HOLDING HANDS. My eyes were in a state of transformed desire. That was me holding his hand earlier, not her. My desire to be where she was, bought back my hatred for the both of them, that had been absent when it was just me and Zack hanging out.
"Hey sis, Zack and I have decide that we are going to get back together." Regina said with a poisonous smile.
"Uhmm, and? Were you expecting a fucking award for that or something?" I spat back as I charged upstairs to my room.
As soon as I got up to my room, I blasted 'Where Eagles Dare' by The Misfits. I was fucking pissed! She's a cheating bitch and he still fucking wants her. What's it got to take for this dumb ass to dump her? Fuck jealousy! I was completely enraged with hate and envy, and I was ready to unleash it all on whoever tried to talk to me.
I laid on my bed, looking up at the ceiling, trying not to cry.
Jesus, I hang out with the guy for like a day by ourselves and I develop feelings for him. Wait, what the fuck are you thinking, Brittney! You don't care about that fat bastard and you never did, so stop lying to yourself. I mumbled to myself.
Truth is, is that I was starting to like the fact that it was me and Zack hanging out with no Regina. She just ruins everything in my life. She always got what I wanted and was always liked more by people, for what reason I don't know...She probably fucked them to.
"Psst....Hey, can we talk?" Zack whispered as he walked in my room and turned the music down.
"NO! And why are you whispering?"
"Because I don't want Regi to hear me!" He spoke at his natural vocal level.
"Well get the fuck out of my room and go fuck her!" I shouted.
He shut my door and came over to sit on the edge of my bed. He was looking at the fury that danced around my eyes.
"Don't you know what get the fuck out means? I really want to be left alone, okay?"
"We need to talk and we're going to talk whether you like it or not!" His eyes still gazed at mine.
"Well then start talking...."
"I'm glad you were there for me but I uh well I uh I love Regi..." He sounded hesitant when he said he loved her. "And I don't want you to think I've been trying to lead you on in these past couple of days."
I sat up and rubbed my eyebrows and forehead. I couldn't help but feel a little disappointed.
"The kiss, well It didn't mean anything to me. It was to make me feel better." He continued. He leaned in to hug me but I pushed him off.
"Don't fucking hug me because you might come back to me and say it meant nothing." I said staring at his hands. "She fucking cheated on you, Zack and you still want her don't you? You still fucking love her!" I half shouted.
"I love her! You can't just give up on someone you love!" He shouted standing up. As he was about to make his way out my room, I needed to say something to him but I knew I would regret it.
"Well, I'm giving up on you." I said turning around so he couldn't read the emotion on my face. "Now get out."
I heard him let out a grunt and then he walked out of my room. I got up and slammed my door shut, in frustration. Tomorrow and the days to follow, would be the most uncomfortable days of my life. I hate her and I hate him! I will move out and my sister will not and cannot stop me. I needed to deprive myself of my jealousy and rage. I needed to deprive myself of my sister and especially Zack. Isolation must be put in order.
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