We Need No Introduction

“Get the fuck out of here,” I said calmly, a plume of smoke escaping from my lips. I laughed when I looked over at Leana’s confused face. She lay on my bed, reading a magazine while her feet kicked in the air.

“Why do you want me to get out?”

“Because, as my big sister, you have the duty to protect me, and in protecting me, you will distract them, because I fear your giant of a boyfriend and his friends are on their way to terrorize me.” Leana scoffed and my jaw dropped in mock surprise. “I’m serious Lee! Last time they came to visit you, I ended up with hot sauce in my chocolate milk.”

“I keep telling you, that was all Bam’s doing right after you and Dunn helped put Knoxville’s pubes in his dinner.”

I snorted. “They helped, but nothing happened to them!” I flicked ashes into an empty pop can and took another drag on the Marlboro Smooth that sat in between my fingers. “But I do have to admit that was hysterical.”

“May have well been, but you had to know something was coming.”

“Did he not know I hate hot sauce?”

“He did when you started gagging.”

“It was a hell of a lot of hot sauce! That stuff burned! Then there was no milk or anything to calm it!” explained. Leana just laughed, continuing with her Blender magazine. “Any person in their right mind would do the same.” I flopped down on my bed beside her, dropping the cigarette butt down into the can, hearing a sizzle, signaling it was out.

“Do you want to do something today?” Leana asked, looking up at me again from her magazine.

“I was going to masturbate, but you won’t get out.”

Leana laughed and slapped my arm. “You’re sick.”

“Oh, c’mon, Lee. Everyone that has hit puberty has masturbated at least once.”

“But not everyone tells others, unlike you.”

“Because I care not what the general population thinks of me. I could give two shits.”

“You say that now, but just wait; there will come a time when you don’t want someone to know something.”

“Yeah, okay. When that time comes, I’ll give you fifty bucks,” I said, rolling the eyes I shared with my sister.

“Leana!” Mom called from the front room. “Jimmy’s here!”

“Told you,” I told my sister. “Bet he brought his male ‘pals’ to come and wreak havoc on our tiny family.”

“Blair, get a grip,” Leana said with a laugh as she stood up and went to exit my room. The door closed behind her and I found myself in the solace I was looking for all afternoon since she invaded my space. I turned on my laptop and started the music player. Cradle of Filth’s Nemesis was cranked on high and I found my foot tapping to the song as my hands wrapped around the back of my head. I closed my eyes and paid attention to the bass, drumming, guitars and vocals that streamed through the speakers.

A knock fell on my door mid-song and I grumbled.

“Sorry, but this is Blair time, go away!” I said, pausing the song and waiting for a sarcastic response from Leana.

“Not anymore, time to get the hell out there!” I rolled my eyes at the sound of Bam’s voice. Why couldn’t he just leave me the fuck alone?

Ignoring him, I decided to un-pause my music and lock the door.

“Blair, let me the fuck in!” Bam’s muffled voice came as soon as the door clicked locked. I laughed to myself as I flopped down on my bed.

“I can’t hear you!” I said, reacquainting myself with the softness that is my bed.

“Yes you can! Now let me in!” he whined.

“Nope.”

“I’ll get someone to bust down the door.”

“Then you’ll answer to my father.”

“He’s not home,” Bam side remarked.

“He will be soon.”

“Fine. Whatever.”

There was no more retaliation and I felt like I did a good job, keeping Bam away from me. God knows what he would try and pull off. Nemesis ended and in its place, Descending Angel, by Misfits rose from the speakers. I tapped my foot to the beat. Out of nowhere, I got the feeling of being watched. You know, that weird tingling you get right between your eyes, almost? I opened one eye and boom! There it is! The most annoying… creature ever to walk the earth. Bam’s face is right in mine. I jump and squeal. So this is what you get for having a one story house.

“Shouldn’t leave your window unlocked,” he said with that shit-eating grin.

“Fucker!” I said, pushing him away.

He laughed as stood up straight. “What? You don’t love me anymore?”

“I was busy,” I said, pausing the music.

“Doing?”

I rolled my eyes. “Listening to music, dumbshit.”

“Oh, Despair, I’m hurt. Really. Honestly,” he said, clutching his “heart.”

I scoffed. “Sure you are, not get the hell out!” I told him, pointing to the window.

“God, touchy, touchy.” Bam plopped right down beside me on the bed, making sure he was comfortable.

“Comfy?” I asked in a sweet voice.

“Yup.”

“Good.” I pushed him out of the bed and he hit the floor with a thump.

“Hey! What was that for?!”

“Not getting out of my room, like I told you. This is me time.”

“Blair, babe, with me around, there is no ‘me’ time.”