You're Still My Favorite Melody

William had borrowed his dad’s car for the night and so he had driven me home. The car has been idling for a few minutes in front of the apartment, but I still haven’t unbuckled my seat belt. And I don’t know what I’m waiting for or why but I keep waiting. William on the other hand seems completely focused on something. His hands are gripping the steering wheel tightly and he’s staring straight ahead, probably lost in thought. He seems like he's in such deep concentration that I keep quiet and continue waiting.

“I... I shouldn’t have asked you to come with me,” he says suddenly, turning to face me. I raise an eyebrow–he couldn’t un-ask me could he?

“William-”

“No I’m serious. I mean we still have college and the rest of our lives ahead of us. I don’t want you to throw all of that away for a few months in Chicago.” I look over at William in confusion– What was that supposed to mean? He sounded bitter and even a little angry. Did I miss something?

“So, what does that mean?”

“I don’t want you to come with me,” he mumbles, after a few moments of silence. I stare at William in shock. Of course I was happy inside, I wouldn’t have to choose between staying in New York or leaving with him. But what did this mean about our relationship?

“But...William you said we couldn’t do this anymore if I didn’t go with you,” I say slowly. William glances at me quickly, before pushing open the car door and stepping outside. I sigh and follow him outside.

He’s leaning against the wall of the building, illuminated by a street light. I walk over to him but he doesn’t look at me, instead he lowers his head. And that's when it dawns on me. He didn't want me to go because he didn't want to do this anymore.

“William, are you breaking up with me?” I ask uncertainly and he looks up at me with the same uncertainty mirrored in his eyes.

Rain starts falling and William hands me his jacket without hesitation. I take the jacket warily but don’t bother with the hood. The rain didn't matter at this point, not when we were on the verge of breaking up. Not when I hadn't seen it coming. I had never thought about William making my choice for me.

“I...I think we should,” he mumbles, his eyes darting to anything but me. I nod slowly and mumble a barely audible ‘oh’. I wasn't going to cry not with William standing there in front of me. I rip off William's jacket, push it back into his arms and tell him to leave.

"You'll get sick," he says, handing me the jacket again. It's way too much. He's too nice for a guy who just broke up with me and I can't take it. How can he be so calm?

"You need to go," I hiss, folding my arms across my chest. By now we're both completely soaked and the jacket doesn't even matter anymore but he keeps shoving it into my arms. Eventually I take the jacket and William leaves but I remain rooted to that spot with only one thought in my mind: how could I have let this happen?