You're Still My Favorite Melody

The Amulet is now a modest coffee shop. It doesn't smell of sex and drugs, just fresh coffee. The checkered booths have been replaced with small chestnut tables and stools. The waitresses all wear bright smiles and I feel much better.

I wave the waitresses away and tell them that I'm waiting for someone. Regardless they hand me a menu and in the second it takes me to skim it, the door pushes open. I feel a gust of cold air hit my face and look up at the door in quiet anticipation.

William.

He enters the coffee shop, looking nothing short of amazing and I smile.

His hair is much shorter(something I hadn't noticed last night) and black glasses frame his face. He looks around for a moment before finally spotting me.

William doesn't smile, in fact he frowns slightly. He makes his way over to my table and sits down.

"Hey," I whisper and William looks at everything but me.

Suddenly all of the apologies I've rehearsed, don't seem good enough. All of my words are stuck in my throat, because this is William, my (ex)best friend and he won't even look at me.

"Hey," he says finally, staring down at the table.

"Do you uh, wanna order?" I ask cautiously, because I'm not ready to talk just yet.

"Yeah," he mumbles, tracing patterns into the table.

I call the waitress over and we both order.

"You um...cut your hair," I mutter, hating the stupid small talk I was making.

"How long have you been back?" William asks.

"Just, uh two days," I say, wishing that he'd look at me.

William and I sit there in silence for a couple of minutes before I sigh.

"I really screwed up huh? I mean, I don't even know what to say to make this okay."

William looks up at me and I almost break down right there. His brown eyes are full of pain and anger and I hate myself for putting it there. I bite my lip begging the tears not to come as the waitress comes back with our drinks.

I look nervously around the shop, desperate for some kind of distraction.

"What you did was-"

"I'm sorry. I'm so fucking sorry because you didn't deserve any of that. I shouldn't have taken you for granted and you have every right to hate me but...I miss you," I say, whispering the last part.

William practically chokes on his drink before looking up at me in confusion.

"You miss me?" he asks, jerking his eyebrows together.

I blush and look down at my coffee in front of me.

"Yeah," I say quietly.

"Correct me if I'm wrong but you were the one who stopped talking to me," William answers, his voice rising an octave.

"I thought that maybe if we stopped talking, that I'd forget about you and I'd feel better. But I didn't...I only felt worse. And William I haven't stopped hating myself for what I did to you... to everyone."

I push my cup to my lips, closing my eyes and trying not to think about how William will react.

"I don't...I don't really know what to say that," he mutters.

He looks down into the depths of his cup, perhaps searching for the right thing to say. William and I sit like that for a couple of minutes, too absorbed in our own thoughts to notice anything else.

"Do you... miss me sometimes?" I ask, timidly.

I know it's a shot in the dark, but I have to ask him anyway.

William looks up at me again, his brown eyes doleful, "all the time."

A smile dashes across my face for a split second, but it's only a small victory.

"I haven't forgiven you yet but..." William begins, lowering his eyes almost in shame.

"But I still miss you. I'm supposed to hate you but I can't."

I can barely comprehend what William said, much less think of some logical response. So of course I blurt out the first illogical thing that comes to mind.

"So then don't. Let's go back to being friends and-"

"You know it's not that easy," William says quietly.

Of course I knew that. It was obvious that I had screwed up beyond a simple repair, if any.

"So what now?" I ask, looking into his eyes.

William shrugs and pushes his brown hair out of his face.

"William you can't just-" I begin.

William pushes his plate away from him and calls the waitress over, asking for the check. Neither of us mentions the fact that we've barely even touched our coffee.

"I need to think for a while," he mutters.

I sigh and lower my eyes, as William hands the waitress a few bills.

"If you don't want to be friends, then fine but don't give me that bullshit."

"Sabrina-"

"You don't want to be friends do you?" I ask, biting my bottom lip.

William gives me a sympathetic look, "I need time to sort everything-"

"Okay, I get it. I'll leave you alone," I mutter, running out The Amulet.