Light Up Your Letters

wow i have changed.

Dear ...
WTF. Fucking reply to my emails, talk to me like we used to talk to each other and stop EFFING WITH MY HEAD.
Thank you.
Debzorah

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Dear Ameh
Youuu are beautiful, no matter whut they say ;]
Love Debzorah

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Dear Jojo,
Stop gloating about your long-distance relationship with Katrina. It's getting annoying to see how successful and in love you guys are
Debzorah

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Dear Facebook,
I'm changing my profile picture tonite :]
Debzorah

Dear Steven,

I don't even know where to start here. There are just so many things I'm feeling right now. I guess I'll just start somewhere, hm. I'm scared that you're going to leave me, which makes me feel like shit. The fact that you couldn't hang tonight made me feel like shit; which is stupid, but I just - I need you right now, baby. Which brings me to my next point: my depression is getting worse again. You're the only thing that takes away just enough of the pain to where I can not think about how much I hate myself. I just want to feel better. I don't know how much longer I can live with this stupid shadow of depression over fucking everything. I can't do it.

And lastly, I'm falling in love with you. It hurts terribly and I'm scared. I don't want to lose you. I'm afraid to fall in love.

Yours Forever,
Emily
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Dear Life,

Stop trying to fuck me over. I just want to be happy.
Please.

-Emily

dear cory monteith,
i don't know what happened,
but you appeared on my tumblr dash tonight, looking extra fine.
please just get in me now.
love alice.

Dear Dorothy Judith Case,

Alright Deej, this needs to be said. I love you, and I'm sorry, but sometimes—and I'm sure you've noticed—you annoy the living Jesus out of me. That's why I am invisible to you on Facebook, that's why I haven't been so heartbroken while you've been away in New Orleans, and that's why I ignore all your calls.

You're funny and you're sweet, but a lot of the time you take those qualities way to far. To the point where you're frustrating and I have to physically and/or verbally react for you to get the message, and more often than not, you still don't get it! Don't you constantly hear when I complain about you getting too close? Don't you realize that sometimes you just need to get out of my face? And trust me, I try to keep my tolerance in check, but you know I have a short temper; still, you should know I'm not the only one that's taken notice of your issue, but I won't name any names.

Another thing, sometimes you get pretty attention whore-ish and I want to punch you in the face. Also, your "subtle" efforts of boosting your self-esteem get pretty old really fast. If we have anything to compliment you on, trust me, we'll do it; if we already have congratulated you on some abstract achievement, don't attempt to fish for anymore compliments because you're not going to get shit from me.

Your constant needy and clingy ways: UGH! With the amount of time we usually spend together, it's natural to experience some short periods of distance from time to time so we don't get sick of each other. For whatever reason, you haven't quite grasped that idea yet. Not to mention gas prices suck.

Also, there are times when our boyfriends do have priority over you and you'll figure that out when you get one, but until then, stop preying on John like he's your soulmate. I know that's hard for you to comprehend, but he and Molly are pretty much married and it is beyond rude of you to try to break that relationship up. Likewise, hearing your frequent complaints about how he acts different around you because of Molly is complete bullshit; he acts different because you make him uncomfortable and irate. It's not going to happen, do us all a favor and get over it.

To keep this short, I'll say this: you have the qualities of a great person, but nowadays, you suck. Sorry.

Love,
Sparky

Dear Cousin,

I love you more than anyone else.
Don't ever leave me.
And stop being sad, you will always have me.

Love,
Sam

Dearest boys,
I'll miss you so damn much. Please come back soon, soon enough that it will only feel like the time it takes to create an album. Not later, please.
I need you guys, and I need your music.
Love, Sarah.

Dear Dany & Danger,

I don't know what to do anymore. I hate that we can't talk to each other. I hate that we never see each other. I hate that when we do see each other all we do is pretend everything's okay and drink alcohol. I hate that our conversations die. I hate the awkward silences. I hate that we're all miserable. I hate that we're all broken. I hate that we're all there for each other, but it's still not enough. I hate that we love each other and yet we don't even act like we're friends. I hate that our dreams are dying and we're nowhere near where we should be. I hate that we're all scared shitless and we all feel like failures. I hate how our home lives fail. I hate how our school lives fail. I hate how we're all going through things alone. I hate how we feel like we can't turn to each other even though we know we can. I hate everything that has ever distanced the three of us. I can't fucking take it anymore. I don't know where it all went wrong. All I know is that I'm only happy when we're together doing nothing but being idiots. When we're laying in the middle of the road taking stupid pictures. When we're thrusting at each other for good luck. When we hug each other like we'll never see each other again. When we laugh so hard at nothing. When we drink and everything is just easier for some stupid fucking reason. God dammit. I'm only myself when I'm with you two. I have a purpose. I'm only a drummer when you're playing guitar and you're playing bass. I'm only in a band when we're in the garage. I'm only a friend when I'm attempting to make one of you smile. I'm only funny when you laugh at my immature jokes. I am nothing without you two. Absolutely useless. This is going to be the most difficult fucking year of our lives. This is what it all comes down to. Grade 12. I don't want all of us to freak out and cry ourselves to sleep feeling alone. I want all of us to freak out together and cry ourselves to sleep and wipe each others tears and not be afraid to fall because we've got each other. This is the one year we all NEED each other more than ever and I don't want us to just fade away like every other friendship I've ever had. This is different. This is more. We are more. And this is all we have. We have to fix this. We have to fix this or we're all fucked and we'll regret it all.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry if I haven't made anything easier. I just want us to be okay.

-eileen.

dear self,
you're doing well. don't get down if you relapse. that boy is your favourite drug.
you just need to work out what is better for you.
yours truly,
youself.

dear brian,
you're my best friend and all, but sometimes i can't stand you.
you're racist. you're selfish. you want a boyfriend but all you do is judge guys by their looks.
all you care about is finding some hot guy.
you know what? fuck you.
pretty faces don't last, and i can't wait to see your justin bieber ass at age forty.
you insult practically every person i like, even calling one a "weird jew."
do you know how fucking offensive that is?
just, adfjkhagjhalkgj. you fucking scare me sometimes.
get over yourself, you fucktard.
-rat

dear self,
please get off your lazy ass and do something. not go on mibba. not watch tv. you'll get fat, okay? or, fatter.
go write. you have ideas, you're just afraid to actually put them down. why?
do something. you're being a fucking waste right now.
also, you're a giant fucking hypocrite because you're typing this all up on mibba. which means you're on the computer.
wtf?
-you

Dear Miss Whore McWhorester,
You're such a freaking whore.
He's fucking 17.
SEVEN YEARS YOUNGER THAN YOU. He's in fucking high school. He has a life, and you're not supposed to fit in it. I know that you got hurt, and I know more than anyone that he'll be the one to fix you, but you're seven years older than him. Stop being a whore. Stop fucking everything with three legs. Stop destroying people's fucking lives. Get someone who's actually your type, and why don't you start with age. Well, hell, even if you wanna go for someone younger, go for it. Just not someone who is still in high school, who has no idea what to do with their lives. Don't lead him on.
I don't hate people, and you, you make me hate you. He's a child to you, and you go all cute and just say, "Oh, I can't sleep, will you talk to me?" You know you have a hundred and seven fucking booty calls that will do anyhting to you that your little whorish heart desires.
Fuck you, you fucking cunt.
Love,
me.

Dear what's your face,

I'm seeing you in two weeks, after two long months. This makes me insanely happy, like seriously, you have no idea.

Love From,
Me.

Dear God,

I don't wanna live an average life. I don't want to get a job that requires me sitting down at a desk and doing business that I don't enjoy at all. I'd be wonderful if an open door presented itself to me. Maybe one that led to being a guitarist. I'd love to play acoustic guitar on my own and then an electric guitar in a band. Please help me find the right teacher.

Or I could be a published author. I don't know any good concepts that I could write about. And it's a very, very difficult process to get published after the story is created. There's the manuscript, the agents, the companies. But to get on that track, I need to have a concept that I will follow through. But how can I when I lost interest in a few weeks? You already know that I have a few stories I've started on but I'm on only on the first few pages and already have lost interest. I need a special spark that will keep into the story until all 80,000 words are down. I need an idea. Please let there be one somewhere i can find soon.

Aside from the future careers, I'm kind of scared about the future. I wonder what You think about when it comes to future technology. I read about robots that will do things for humans, like cooking and delivering packages. I read about in 20 years robots having more intelligence than humans. I read about so many scary things... What if the robots take over the world? I know that's immature but I can't help but think that. Can't us humans do things on our own? We don't need robots. We have plenty of things already. There are computres, cars, planes, roads, television, phones, thousands of things. I don't wanna live an iRobot life. I'm so freaked... And the nanobots that make us live younger... You gave us a life span. That's enough. We don't need to make it longer, as much as that sounds great. We live on Earth and then we come to You. I don't understand why people want to avoid that...

And I want to pray for the man who was on fire a few days ago, the man who was at the gas station and caught on fire. I pray he is alright and didn't lose his legs.

Could You please give me a good sign that my brother is safely with You? Please? I'd like a sign that I'll meet him some day. To meet the brother that was never born.

Love,
Me

Dear, Laurie
Thank you for ripping my heard out and trampling all over it.
- Laura.

Dear, AS level results
You can really fuck off.
- Laura.

Dear God,

It's been a while. Sup.

Look, here's the thing. I'm a bastard. I know I am and you know I am. I usually never talk to you unless I need something from you. I usually never ask how's it going but instead cut back to what's going on in my life. I know you're here to listen and all but it's rude for me not to ask. I mean you probably have it tough. Shit, I mean you have to take care of soooo many people. Half of them don't even believe in you. Half of them don't even want to believe because shit has happened in their lives that they blame you for. And why wouldn't they? You're the easy way out. Blaming you means we don't have to blame ourselves. Can't say I haven't given you the finger once or twice.

I know that you are in this high holy place trying to help those who need it the most. My wishes are ultimately very selfish. And you've probably heard me whine about them a good hundred times. So now I come to you not for myself, but for others.

Well, you could count this as it being for myself because it will make me happy. But more so it is for others. Look. You know where I live. The border of Mexico. You know how bad it's gotten. If you havent then, really screw you. It's kind of impossible not to. But seriously. Just...

My mom works at a bridge belonging to Mexico. She's the one that managers of all the money. She's good at it. Always has been. But lately in other bridges there have been robberies. The last one I heard about was not too far from here. The men kidnapped the main manager and stole the money. He hasn't been found.

It's been two months.

We all assume the worst by now.

If that were to EVER happen to my mom I wouldn't... Tell me what would I do? What would I do, God? My dad lives an hour and a half away from me. He travels almost every week and we despise each other. We were meant to never live together. And with his mother coming along? I wouldn't live after the third day.

And even if I stayed with my aunt what would become of me? To live in the claws of mockery everyday. I wouldn't be able to pull through.

And If I was alone?
Alone in a house full of empty memories.
I can barely stand remembering my own grandmother.
But to remember my mom? I couldn't.

Besides what would my aunt do without her twin when she just lost her mother? What would my mothers friends do?

So I'm asking you to take care of her. Im begging you.

And not only her.

There is this beautiful girl I met here on this site. She's my sister. And my sister lives in one of the most dangerous places ever. Do you think I don't worry? Of course I do. All the time. I mean what would I do without her?

When I cry, she's there for me. When I need a good laugh she's there to.Distance or no distance if you're the watcher that you have others proclaim you are then you should know we're far above the damned distance.

You should also know how important she is to others. What would her parents do without her? Her brother? Her friends? Even her dumbass boyfriend? What would I do without her?

I wouldn't know if something happened. The distance would never tell me. I would be oblivious if the worst had come. But even then I would know that I could never forget her. I would stay up all day. I would wait. And it would just be evil of you to do so. To watch me. To watch her family. That would just be unfair.

But there is one more person that I ask you to take care of.

This time it's a boy. I know, I know.
You've heard me whine about boys all the time. Hate them, love them, hope they die, hope they kiss me. Whatever. You've heard it all. You've heard me weep the time I heard that the boy I liked was on his deathbed because of a drunken car accident. You saw me swim in the guilt of having to say no to three other boys. You saw me smile when boys asked me out. You saw.

But this time it's different.

This time, you don't even have to give him to me. This time you don't have to hear me beg for your help to make me look perfect. This time I wouldn't mind if he hated me. This time I just want him to be happy.

You see, this boy also lives in the most dangerous city right along my sister. He's very sweet. He's very cute. He's like... Like a cold soda on a hot day. Refreshing. He's refreshing to talk to. To listen to. He makes you smile. You did good with him. So kudos for that. But you see...

He makes me so happy. So so so happy. Bit at the same time it breaks my heart. It breaks my heart that I just look at myself and feel like I can never be good enough. It breaks my heart that this is one of the first times in my life that I've felt horribly ugly. It breaks my heart that I forgot what it felt like to feel pretty.

So you ask me, "if he makes you feel that way why do you want me to protect him?"

Because of all those reasons. He makes me want to be better. He makes me strive for more than I ever thought I could. I want to be good now. And no one has ever made me feel like maybe I'm worth something more.

So even if he's completely disgusted by me. Even if he walks away. I owe him so much for letting me believe that I'm better than what I ever thought I could be. That's why I beg you to take care of him.

And even if it isn't for me do it for his family. His friends. His doggy. Just do it.

They are worth at least trying.

Don't you think?

Love,
That redheaded girl who's a bastard.

Dear Stephanie -
I love you. Don't move. Don't go to America, I don't know if i can handle it if someone else leaves me.
I was honestly more excited for you to come back from vacation then i was to go to stockholm with mathilda.
Thats fucked up shit right there. I know you're going to go to America anyway.
It's just for a year, and you'll be back. I know.
But omg i'll miss you, like fuck.
Don't blow off our plans again, please?
- Love, Bambi.

-

Cross -
I miss you. I love you. I miss those no strings attached kisses. You should come see me in october. We can dress up and film grudge spoofs.
- Love, Ragari.

-

Brain -
STFU. thank you.
- Amanda.

dear university and professor you-know-who-you-are,
go fuck yourself.
i'm tired.
i work my ass off and this is what i get. and the thing is, 'doctor', you know that i'm better than the grade you gave me. i know you know.
but . . . what. ever. i'm tired of crying myself to sleep, pouring my heart out, actually bothering to follow the rules you set.

next year i'm gonna graduate and fuck you all.
especially you.
you-know-who-you-are.

not much love,
fatma.

-

dear university,
i don't know what i'll do when i leave you.
i'm scared.

-fatma

Dear God,
Why does life have to be this way? Why do I have to be alone while other people are out having fun? I want to skip to the end, to see if it'll be worth it. I either want that, or I want to go back. If there was one day I'd repeat over and over again, it'd be that Saturday that we went to Speigle Grove. And then we went to the show, and did amazing, then we went to Denny's, and I got to show off the fact that I had someone. But really, I guess it's not a big deal. Everyone has someone for them, and I do too. But I really want mine now. I get so jealous when I watch movies with couples, especially married ones. I just want that, so much. I say I don't care if I get married, adn I really do. I want to be the last person someone thinks about. I want to be the only person in someone's mind. I just want that kind of love.
So maybe I'll find something like that in my senior year. But if I have to wait till college, or after college, please, let me at least have fun with all the wrong guys.
Love,
me.

D,
I'd like to get to know you. But, I also don't. Because I like you already. How are you 16? You look 18, nearly 19. Do you study at tafe if you work full time? Do you have a girlfriend? I'll assume you do because you're far too funny and attractive not to. Your friends are cute, too. I'd like to stay acquaintances mainly, I'm not going to wish for anything more to happen, but I'm not going to jinx it either. I'll watch my words and not mention you too often like I did the others. I don't want this to be obvious, but I suppose me turning red tonight didn't help, either. Thanks for being nice to me, even if I am a noob. Thanks for seeming genuinely interested in what I had to say, even if my hair looked awful and I looked a right mess.
Just, thanks. You're awesome. And I'll keep the fantasies to as low a rate as possible, but that necklace you wear against your pale skin doesn't help any.
Kindly, Sarah.

Dear Tre Cool,

Tomorrow you're going to meet a beautiful girl named Marie. She plays drums and you are her mother fuckin' hero. She's going to give you a letter explaining how much you mean to her. I hope you read it. I hope you realize that you've changed her life. I hope you know that when she was a kid and everyone was listening to shitty pop bands she was in her room trying to imitate your drum fills. You are all she has left. You inspire her everyday to keep living and to stay strong. This girl deserves to meet you, Tre. Her life has been so hideous, but you, Mike and Billie Joe are the most beautiful part of it. You give her a reason to open her eyes in the morning and you give her a purpose to fall asleep at night and do it all again the next day. She might be very choked up when she meets you because that's how much you mean to her, but I know you'll give her an adorable empathetic smile and a big hug. She deserves it all. She deserves a moment of your time more than I ever will.

Tomorrow you're going to make this girl's life.
Just be you. That's all she needs.

Love,
Eileen. xxx.