Oh, I can relate to almost all the things you put in that. Even though I don't do it, you should defiantly talk to your friend. I mean yeah, it seems like you been dumping tons of stuff on her but I'm sure she doesn't mind. If she is a really good friend she wouldn't. And I know our sucky lives would be even more sucky without music. Music's the only thing that helps me :) I hope everything works out for you and you're an excellent writer :D
I hope things work out for you^.^ When I went through stuff like that, my friends stood by me through it all.. Maybe you should tell your friends and maybe they'll help you through it..?
You aren't being stupid; you're being human and you have a right to be angry, confused, sad, etc. I don't want to be all sappy and crap, but I really do hope things work out for you. :] And I love your stories, by the by.
I hope everything works out for you and you're an excellent writer :D