I really do not know what to do... :\ - Comments

Make something for her, I know no one does that these days but the home made gifts mean a lot more then store bought.
I had no money this year so I painted, sketched and wrote poems for my family.

Firstly, you must think in a positive way. How do you expect to come up with a reasonable solution when you are not being reasonable yourself? Do not wish that you were never born; your birth cannot be undone so I would not fret over something out of your control. Also, if she indeed wanted to have a more stress-free life, you would not be with her. This shows her care for you.

Secondly, I suggest you have a sophisticated conversation with your mother and discuss your concerns for her financial status. Maybe then she will understand. If that’s not cheap, I don’t know what is ;)

Christmas time is a stressful time for everyone just because of money.
The thing you can do is try your best to like buy cheaper stuff and really try to cut off all the things you don't really need like special sodas, candy and stuff like that.
Maybe try and get a part time job so you can have just a small money for yourself which makes a whole lot of difference.
Hope everything goes well and if you need some help you're more then welcome to ask for it. I know what you're going through and it sucks so bad.