I'm so sorry :) I can really relate, my dog Suzie who was 15 years old and who was in my life for sooooo long died on the 21st :( She'd been getting worse, she couldn't walk anymore bout 2 weeks before she died and a week before that she couldn't control her bowel movements so she started going to the bathroom all over the house but when she couldn't walk anymore she stopped going all together. We think she had kidney failure and possibly other organs failing as well :( It was the last day of my mid terms and I was getting ready to go to my Latin 3 exam when I came downstairs and saw her laying in bed with a glazed look in her eyes, her mouth open and foam coming out of her mouth. My mom was petting her and I went numb. I thought she was going to die the night before while I was petting her but she didn't. I got upset and my mom said she was having a seizure and I asked wat can we do? And she said nothing. And I knew she was right but I couldn't watch my poor baby suffer :( We were going to put her to sleep at 3 o clock but 3 o clock never came for her. I was petting her and my mom was trying to get me out the door and she woke my dad up to stay and pet her cuz my dog didn't want to be alone :( I pet her neck and her eyes weren't moving but she moved her leg out and touched my knee and I pet her leg. I leaned into her and I told her everything was going to be ok and I had to hold back the tears. I was afraid that I'd come home and she'd be dead :( When I got home my dad was in the truck and I ran right in the house to go under the dining room table where she had been laying. Her bed was gone and so was she. In my heart I knew she was dead but I couldn't process it, Idk y but I went into the kitchen expecting to c her body there for some reason but it wasnt there. I wandered into the living room just as my dad came in and I just looked at him and said "she's dead isn't she?" And he said that she died right after I pet her on the leg :( But, I didn't notice she was gone when I pet her, he said the second I shut the door, she was gone :( I started bawling my eyes out and my mom came in and she and I were crying n the 3 of us were hugging. That never happens in my house. I was hysterical and sat in my room crying for 2 hours before I was ok enough to go to my friends house for the night. My parents told me that she waited for me, that she didn't want to go before she saw me one last time :( My mom said she was up with her for 3 hours before I came down and she was breathing so heavy but when I came down, that stopped, she started barely breathing. She was trying to fight it for me, to see me one more time and she did :( I miss her so much </3 We got her ashes on saturday and I want to make a shrine to her somewhere in my room. It's hard but just think, he's not in pain anymore and maybe, you'll see him again when the time comes <3
February 3rd, 2011 at 01:05am
