I know how cliche it sounds, but I totally understand everything you were saying. I often feel/think the same way... I like that although you say you don't understand yourself, you seem to be much more aware of your feelings than most people. Stay strong dear :)
I really liked this. Not in bad way. Just the way you think, I like your logic and love that to most anyone else it wouldn't make sense, but to me it makes perefect sense! :]