First paragraph of my first story. Comments/criticism/suggestions - Comments

Wow. sounds very interesting :D I wanna read!

I meant to censor that word. Woops.

Oh, damn. :D That sounds so awesome, I'm not even exaggerating. Great job.

And it'd be better if you censor that last word fuck. xD

It sounds pretty good, I admit it didn't draw me in straight away but by the time you got down to the part where he says "That's why I, Noah Deesen..." and talks about why he sleeps with girls, it drew me in. He's obviously some sort of man wh*re andit seems like he's trying to justify it. x]

You have to censor your cursing, please. I know you won't have to in your story, but in your journal you do.

However, I think it's interesting. Not in a bad way, but interesting to see where it's going.

:'D I like it. Me wanna read-ie.