Just because women* can have children doesn't mean they have to. - Comments

BLESS THIS POST.
I don't want kids. I don't like them. I don't ever plan on having them and I'm so happy someone finally spoke up about it!

I really love this blog.

Often times when I tell people I don't want children, they reply with: "Oh, you're going to change your mind." Like NO, I don't really like children, and I especially don't want any of my own. Just because I'm young doesn't mean I'm not smart enough to know what I don't want in my future.

It's not that I wouldn't be an okay mother. I just wouldn't want to be. It wouldn't be a good fit to me. I'd make a good aunt, etc., because they aren't my own kids.

The only children I'm going to be a mother to will have fur and four legs.

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Women who don't want to be mothers seldom make great ones and I think it's an incredibly smart decision for women who don't want children to not have them. They will be happier and more mentally sound, which makes them more likely to contribute to society in a positive way. Likewise, they will not be bringing a child into the world that may suffer the negative effects of being unwanted, such as low self esteem and difficulties in relationships. Such a child could go on to inflict pain upon others or themselves.

I've always wanted children, but it's never occurred to me that their should be something wrong with people who don't want to have children.

I took a Parenting & Child Development class my sophomore year and after finding out all of the strange things that happen to a woman's body during and after pregnancy, I didn't WANT kids. At all. It terrified me.

And boy, did I get HELL from a girl in my class for voicing this. It was always questions of WHY WHY WHY WHY? Even though I told her every time I didn't want my freaking bladder falling out of my body because of a child.

Now though, I do want kids. Biological and adopted. I've spent a lot of time around children since then and they do bring me so much joy. I want to adopt from Latin America, as well. But that also gets me shit by those "adopt from your own country" people.

You can't win for losing, I tell ya.

I really applaud you for this blog! Not only does what you listed that people do bug me, it bothers me when people just always start assuming things. Something I face is....I'm married. I got married when I was 19 and in today's standards...that's considered super young for some reason. People are always like..."Wow you were so young!"

Way back in the day like in the 20's and 30's era people got married when they were like 13 and 14. Now that was pretty young lol but more power to em. Anyway....So when people find out I've been married for 7 years...they ALWAYS AUTOMATICALLY ask how many kids I have. It especially pissed me off back when I first got married and people found out that didn't know me. They would ask how many kids I had like....I only got married because I got knocked up or something.

That made me so mad. What happened to just getting married because you loved someone besides only doing it as a result of getting pregnant? It's BS that I had to explain myself so many times because people just are quick to stereo type everything. Just like when a man says "the woman's place is in a kitchen." News Flash.....men may have kept women in bondage back in the day....but the world has changed considerably. Women work and do other things with their time instead of being forced to serve a sexist man. Equal rights folks....equal rights.

Personally, I don't want children, and if I ever change my mind it will be on the grounds of adoption. I live in the deep South and not surprisingly that attitude isn't well accepted. I've lost count of how many times I've heard "Oh one day you'll change your mind" or the ever popular "You're being selfish, what about those women who can't have children and you're taking that ability for granted?"

I swear it never fails. Considering I've been in the same mindset about children for ten years I really doubt that's going to change. But that isn't a popular opinion around here so in haven't exactly found much support for it.

I feel bad for the women who cant have children when they want to. That's awful for them; but at the same time it doesn't mean having children for them or simply because I have the ability to is my problem. There are plenty of kids who are in the adoption system that never get a home, therefore that arguement is invalid. If children are so desperately desired then get one that way. I am not an incubator for someone else simply because I have working ovaries.

@ EdWiN.isamonster
Same here. Like, I want to go to Disneyland and have me enjoy it and I want to run a farm one day and travel in a caravan and do online gaming, so yeah I definitely feel the same, way too selfish for kids

@ cadaveres literarios
That may be the best compliment ever

And yeah, they always say that like, I don't even care what I'm 'supposed' to want, now or in the future.

I have come to associate this smiley with you now

I get that same shit always. Oh, and it gets worse with "Just wait and you'll see". I'll see what? And what makes me cringe, apparently my convictions and life goals will suddenly change because women* are "biologically wired to want children"

I loved this blog. It's the perfect argument against the pro-life/pro-choice bull.

Honestly, I don't want kids, I don't understand why people feel the need to go out and try to control something that isn't theirs to begin with. People don't need a reason to have kids or to not have kids, you're absolutely right about that. I mean, in all seriousness, I just don't want them because I'm selfish. Like, not completely selfish, not to the point where everything has to be about me, but I like to buy myself nice things. I'm also moving on towards being a mortician and I ultimately want to be a coroner and I just don't feel like I'd have time to make for children.

@ breezes.
I think people putting down others choices is really messed up. I just picked this particular side of the argument because there's so many anti-abortion legislation popping up in the news, particularly Texas and Ohio. But if anyone makes you feel ashamed for your choices with motherhood, then they need to just gtfo xD

@ ladyschrei
Yeah, if I was going to have a kid then I'd foster or adopt. People just need to stop judging others and trying to interfere with what they do with their body and life.

I agree with breezes. It's a double-edged sword and it sucks.

When I was in middle school I would tell my other classmates I wanted to adopt kids rather than have my own, and girls and guys alike would ways ask why, why wouldn't I want to have my own kids. Like I need a reason. I don't care if others think "less of me" - my dream is to adopt.

I follow this stripper on Tumblr and she's made it quite clear she doesn't want to have kids, and people always ask her why. And she tells them straight up - there's no reason. And people are so rude about it, basically demanding that she needs to.

People don't NEED a reason for not wanting kids. Just like I don't need a reason to want to adopt. It's annoying people feel they need to be in everyone else's business when it comes to having kids. If you don't want kids, if you do, then I wish you all the best no matter what, you know?

On the flip side of that, a lot of times today, women are looked down on (usually by other women) when their dream is to be a stay-at-home mother and housewife. I would love nothing more than that and whenever I express that, people tell me I'm not reaching my full potential or doing all that I can. Which is so annoying.