"You know my name, not my story." - Comments

@ atlas -
Nooo problem. And sorry for that gross wall of text...

How can you rant so sophisticatedly? Jeez you need to teach me. *slow clappin it out*

@ kyojin;
THANK YOU
ILYSM

I think people are putting too much focus on one little word. You say "slut" anywhere on mibba and immediately the whole slut shaming craze is drudged up all over again. I thought we were past this? I think people's understanding of this blog is clouded because they see red over those four little letters. It's stupid. I'm sure the focus was more on using the "You know my name, not my story" phrase than on "slutty" behavior. When people do what our society sees as "wrong," it is not their story that gets judged but what they are doing. Most people don't think taking revealing photographs or drinking and doing drugs underage is acceptable and trying to shield yourself from judgement with "you know my name, not my story" is not a legitimate defense because your story doesn't necessarily dictate the person you become. THAT is what this blog is about. THAT is what is being talked about here. NOT "sluts."

If you're going to do things that our modern society sees as "bad," some people will look at you in a bad light because of it. If you don't want to be looked down on in that way, you can either conform to society, or learn not to give a shit. Don't hide behind shitty excuses that have nothing to do with the issue on hand. For instance, it's one thing to say you have a "right" to sleep with as many people as you want but saying "I can sleep with as many people as I want because I had a shitty childhood" is something completely different. That is basically what you're saying when you say "You know my name, not my story." You're saying, "My shitty past gives me free reign to do whatever the fuck I want and fuck anyone who tells me otherwise." And that isn't acceptable. Plenty of people have shitty pasts and don't sleep around with tons of people so that isn't a legitimate excuse. Just because you have a shitty past, that doesn't mean you're not in control of your body. Again: THAT is what's being talked about here, not a disdain for "sluts" or "slutty" behavior.

Nowhere did Nate say that it's okay to degrade people online (he did say it will happen though, because it will) or that if you're a "slut" that people should have free reign to treat you like shit on or off social media (he did that your past does not give you the right to be one, though). What he did say was if you're going to expose your "bad behavior" on social media, don't act like no one has the right to tell you what they think of it. In the popularity game that is social media, you are exposing yourself to this judgement so it's pointless to hide behind your "story" because nobody gives a fuck what you've been through. Your story isn't what gives you the right to behave in a way that our society deems is unacceptable. If you don't like how society looks at these sorts of behaviors (drinking, drugs, promiscuity, etc), then maybe you should try to educate people on the subject and help them understand your side of the story rather than hide behind a shoddy excuse of how you have a "story" that nobody knows about or can understand.

Or if you don't want people to judge you based on your behavior, maybe you shouldn't promote it on social media. If it's "your business" and no one else's,then you wouldn't flaunt it in everyone else's face by posting pictures of it and making blatantly obvious status or tweets or what have you that will be shown directly to whoever you're friends with or followed by. If it's "your business" and no one else's, then you would keep it "your business" and keep it private. But you want that attention and that's why you put it out there and make it everyone else's business. So if you're going to do that, don't act surprised when some people don't approve of behavior that they perceive as negative.

/rant over.

Just had to get that off my chest after reading some of these comments.

I'm with castiel's vessel on this one. Calling someone a slut is not acceptable in my opinion. That and cutting someone down because you don't agree with their personal choices isn't right in my opinion either. If someone wants to have sex or drink or smoke marijuana, that's their decision. I think it's incredibly unfair to assume that your opinion that they should be ridiculed and degraded online (usually publicly) is okay while they aren't allowed to defend themselves. If someone called me names on my statuses and pictures, there is exactly a zero percent chance of me not telling that person to keep their nasty words to themselves. Facebook is full of people who think they know what's best for everyone. It's not true and I think it needs to stop.

I agree with this.

"Having a "story" does not give you the right to be a total slut, smoke weed, and drink alcohol, all while lashing out at everyone who judges you for it."

No, but you have that right anyway, regardless of what people think. If I had sex with ten guys in one week that MY right and if people try and tell me otherwise then it is also MY right to dismiss those people and as you say "lash" out at them because I refuse to be a woman whose actions are dictated by what society wants. What I do with MY body and MY life should not be the concern of people I do not know - likewise it shouldn't be the concern of people that I know but that happens and is more acceptable, if you will. Yes, I will be judged but a decent human being wouldn't call you a slut to your face/to you online but rather keep it to themselves. I don't agree with you and I just wouldn't want to be friends with someone who thought like this.

And if someone wants to call them out on it, they need to be prepared for the backlash. I agree that if kids want to act like adults, they need to be treated as such. However, calling someone a slut just because you don't agree with what they are doing still is not right - in my opinion. I just can't agree with cutting someone down like that, it's not the mature thing to do in that situation.

@ Doe.
I'm not saying it's okay to call a teenager a slut, but if they want t act as an adult they better be prepared to be treated as one.

I'm actually shocked to see how many people are agreeing that it's okay to call a teenager a slut and that it's okay to judge people like this and expect to not get backlash from it. I don't see how it's anyone's concern, or how it bothers anyone. If you personally know someone, I can see how you would be worried about their actions but to just be like, "yep, they are a slut and it's okay to say so to their face and they shouldn't get to get mad at it because they are a kid. :)" Just wow. Everyone is going to get judged, there's no way around that, just kind of astonished, really.

If a person has no problem with an adult doing these things, I don't see the problem with seeing a teenager do it. Either way, it's not the outside parties business. Either way, if an adult or a teenager hears people talking about them they DO have a right to get mad and they DO have a right to take up for themselves. That being said, I don't agree with underage drinking, doing drugs, or unprotected sex. Yet, it is still none of my business.

I feel like this is mainly a blog to go see something you don't like, turn around and bitch or go off about it. It's almost as bad as telling it to them to their face but they just don't see it; so they'll never know. This is just my opinion and it's all I really have to say on the subject.

@ survivor;
aha awsome

@ Ada.
Completely off topic, but a character in my NaNoWriMo novel was named Ada

This blog.

This.

Agreed

Here, here!

Yes, yes, 100 times yes.