June 17th, 2015 at 04:26pm
It's been two years since I started university, and in that time everyone who looks at me says. "You look completely different, you can't be the same person."
I chuckle, glance back at them and just carry on with what they're saying, but I've realised.
I'm really not the same person.
Two years ago I wandered into this little town on the south west side of England, an independent, strong, youth and willful individual who could take on the stars, to study something I've always thought I'd love and in matter of fact, it's only alright.
And to be hit so hard with the reality of the fact that what you thought you wanted, isn't actually what you want.
Now resitting the 2nd year to give it another chance to see if things will change with different people.
And I still am the same person, to an extent but, changes comes in so many different forms, to rationalise and place it as one thing is just a bit hard.
To summarise, I'm not the same high flying run head first into situations kind of guy anymore, things take a bit of time and foresight, because not everything you think it will be, is actually what it is.
I think that's such a part of growing up - realizing that you can't always just unthinkingly jump into situations without first thinking of the consequences, good and bad. I've always (in my opinion) felt incredibly lucky that while I'm an optimist in some situations, I am a huge realist. For example, I used to tell everyone when they'd ask about my ex and my relationship that while it was great, we probably wouldn't spend the rest of our lives together (which, clearly I was right). While they always thought I was crazy for saying that, it was my way of knowing I'd come to terms with the inevitable changes that can happen in life - its not that I loved him any less, but realistically, things just sometimes change.
But I digress. I'm so happy to hear of someone who's really seriously considering their future and their studies. I wish you good luck, and know that even if whatever you're studying isn't exactly what you'd envisioned, it's not the end of the world - there are so many other paths and options, and honestly you should be glad you realized it so soon :) I know so many people who didn't have that luxury, or didn't listen to it, and are unhappy with what they do. So again, good luck to you in everything! :)