January 9th, 2017 at 04:33am
A lot of what you wrote really resonated with me. Tons of it actually. I was kind of the same way in high school. I went through this really long period where I knew my personality was screwed up and I was just really down and out about being who I was.
I'm not going to go into a long post about how similar we are, because that won't help anybody, but I'm here if you actually want to talk to someone about all this.
And I just want to say that I get so excited when I see that you're on Mibba. Not because I'm waiting for a Him & Him update, but also because you're a really talented writer and it's good to know that you're still around, in more ways than one.
I'm someone who's always been afraid of failure. When I got Cs in college my freshman year (for the first time ever), I felt like my entire life, who I was, depended on how well I was doing in school. Even now when I don't meet my goals I feel like less of a person.
But I think you and I are both working on that. Just know that you're right. What you do in school doesn't define who you are. When I see you, I think of Jordan, the amazing writer of Him & Him who makes it look so effortless. I don't see you as someone who failed at anything or wasn't good enough, or whatever you think about yourself when it comes to school.
I'm glad to know more about you. Now you're Jordan, who loves Italian food, has a twin brother, adores her mom, is super smart and contemplative, and who gorgeously writes Him & Him. :) :)
People are complicated. You're more than just one thing. Your grades definitely aren't the most important, or even the coolest, thing about you.
I was very interested to learn that you work as an EMT - what an amazing service to give! I know next to nothing of the job, but it certainly sounds stressful yet at times rewarding. If you don't mind my curiosity, are the working hours very erratic, or do you perhaps work on a rota basis?
Good luck with college and I wish your mother all the best.