Probably the looooooongest journal I've ever written. - Comments

-hugs-

I'm sorry, some of that sounds really awful.
Although the anniversary bit sounded good... bit late, but I hope you had a good day.
xoxo

i'm SOOO pissed i got banned from journal... for NO reason...

i miss writing journals like these :/

2.) I got a kitty. But she may have so bacteria shit and so I hope she doesn't die.

I really hope your Kitty is okay Tas! :hug:

5.) Me and Jandri's 1 year anniversary was on Oct. 21st.

aw! I'm late, but Happy Anniversary; I hope it was wonderful and you had a great day. You deserve it. :)

7.) Change of plans for college. I am most likely now going to go to Cornell University in Ithica, NY or Rutgers University in Newark, NJ. Yay. MCR town. But w/e. My dad knows this lady who has the hook up for 'Scholary African-Americans'. Women preferably. Wow. Whoever thought that fat ass would come in handy?

That's great, that your going to college and your dad has like...connections xD Hey, at least he came in handy for something REALLY important right? (Not that everything else going on with you isn't important, but College is just...ya know...whoa.) You'll be going to college near where I live then (kinda). I'm right in the middle of both NJ and NY. :D

I wish I could do something, really do something to help you Tas, but all I have are words right now, but I know that sometimes just hearing (or...reading?) something another person says can help. So hopefully what I'm about to say helps you a little Tas.

I've had similar problems too. I've been tired and cranky, depressed and upset. I honestly don't know why, I've been getting better but there are just moments when I feel so...helpless...so gone, like...is it even worth it?

I just kept telling myself that it'd all get better, and that I had to get through this rough time in order to get to the good times that I knew were ahead (even though I kept doubting there would be good times). Sometimes though, you need a little help. I hardly went to anyone, I talked to a few people and I told them how I felt; it helped a bit. I still felt angry, upset, sad, and just felt the weight of the world on my shoulders, unrelenting and cruel.

School was a major part of the problem, it just was all coming at once. The projects, the tests, I felt like I had no time to just calm down and feel better. People don't understand how hard and stressful school can really be sometimes, but I def. know what you mean when you say it sucks.

I'm sorry for your loss, I really am Tas. I've never had one of my friends die, I've never felt that kind of loss, I can't even imagine what I'd do if one of my friends were gone. It's okay to still cry Tas. You miss her, you probably feel a bit guilty, wondering if there was something you could have done, anything, to save her. But that was her choice, and though you were friends, there was nothing you could do but be there for her when she needed you. If it helps, I think she's in a better place. That's what I believe, I personally think anything is better than earth...

I hate hearing people talk about there life like it means nothing too. What with parties with alcohol and drugs and cutting. Life can get so bad, believe me I know (I've been through shit too), but I believe that everyone can be helped. It's wether or not they choose to, or really want to be helped. Drugs and alcohol create problems, not solve them. I've thought about suicide and other things too, but I've never acted on them, partly cause I was afraid, but also because I know it'll get better, and I wouldn't want to hurt my friends and family. Because I know that if I were to kill myself, I'd be hurting more than just myself.

Mibba is my safe place, as cheesy as that is. I know I'll be accepted, and I've made some really great friends on here. Ones I can trust in. I know Mibba won't be around forever either, but I'm making the most of it right now, while I can. And I've met some really great and special people on here, Mibba's become a big part of my life and it's not just..."playing around on the computer", it's so much more.

You're very well-spoken Tas! You're amazing, and I hope everything gets better for you. I'm always here if you need to talk. ILY.

You need to tell your mom, Tas.
And Jandri can stick it if he's gonna be like that.
tbh.

uhhh ... wow

Aww *Huggles* it sucks being depressed and stuff.

But...happy belated 1 year anniversary ^_^