If You Really Knew Me

If you really knew me, you'd know that I'm an ex self-harmer, that I am borderline bullimic, and that I have OCD. You'd know that I sometimes get angry or sad for no real reason, and that I have hardly any friends because I'm too scared to speak to people unless I know them very well. You'd know how much of a mess my family is in, and just how much I hate my dad. You'd know that even though I usually seem happy and fine, I'm not, and that I used to often think about killing myself.

If you really knew me you would know without my ipod, computer, and or phone, I truthfully wouldn`t be alive.

If you really knew me, you'd know I love My Chemical Romance.

If you really knew me, you'd understand why George is my favourite Beatle.

Dancing Dead.:

If you really knew me, you'd know that alcoholism, drug addiction, and suicide run in my family prevalently onboth sides. my dad's side.

If you really knew me, you'd know why I almost regret turning that guy down last night.

if you really knew me, you'd know that sometimes i just can't take it anymore.

If you really knew me you would know I am un-happy and un-wanted.

If you really knew me, you'd know why I like talking to strangers more than talking to my friends.

if you really knew me, you'd know just how lonely my life is.

If you really knew me you would know I cut to today/found somewhere to cut where no one will ever see.

If you really knew me you'd know that I have a fear of pulling hair out of drains and brushes. I'd rather buy a new brush than to pull my hair out of it...

If you really knew me, you'd know that the reason I spent my entire summer in the house is because I'm afraid of what people might think of me, and that I also am dreading going back to school and finding out I have no more friends.

If you really knew me you would know sometimes I just want to look at my gram, show her my cuts, and say you cause me to do this so shut the fuck up.

If you really knew me you'd know that I like this guy I work with.

If you really knew me, you'd know that I think I might be pregnant... And now that it might be happening, I'm scared shitless.

If you really knew me, you'd know I'm miserable.

If you really knew me, you'd know I suffer from extreme coulrophobia.... or better known as a phobia of clowns....

If you really knew me, you'd know that I hate my uncle for what he did to me when I was little.

If you really knew me, you'd know I still have nightmares of my dad abusing me.