Gender Options

Please can you guys add more options to the gender info you ask for? It really bugs me and upsets me when I have to choose between male and female. It excludes transgender people and those who don't fit in the gender binary. At least add an option that's No Answer or something. I wouldn't be surprised if you turn people away by making you choose between the two. Part of me doesn't want to use this site because of it.

~Arix

...You can always put it on your profile though. That's what most people do.

It still feels exclusionary. I don't see why they don't have a No Answer or Other option in the first place. It makes me feel that the owners of this site don't like or care for those outside the binary.

Arix:

It still feels exclusionary. I don't see why they don't have a No Answer or Other option in the first place. It makes me feel that the owners of this site don't like or care for those outside the binary.

I'm sure it was simply the case of not having thought of it, and not any dislike or lack of compassion for those who don't fit the current options.

Audrey T.:

I'm sure it was simply the case of not having thought of it, and not any dislike or lack of compassion for those who don't fit the current options.

Exactly. Dujo takes care of everyone here.

I'm not saying it's a bad idea, I'm not saying it's a good idea. I'm just saying I don't think we really need it to me.

But, I understand that you feel like we do need it because some might feel left out. So either way, I don't mind.

@Audrey I did mostly assume that but it doesn't reallly make it better. That just means people like me are invisible to the mainstream.

@ladyschrei Well even if we can change it on our profiles it still stares me in the face here on the forums and when I go to the My Mibba page. It is a form of discrimination that I am honestly getting sick of. Every single site I go on seems to only have those two options and it upsets me every time because I feel either ignored or invisible. It's not a nice feeling.

^To be honest, I know of at least one other person on Mibba in your situation however they're perfectly happy just to put down 'Male'. Just put down which ever you're most comfortable with and maybe inbox Dujo if you're really struggling?

He's not the kinda guy to upset people personally on Mibba really. ^__^'

@Kaname Well my issue is that I'm not male or female. I'm something called Two-Spirit or Genderqueer. I just don't like having to conform myself to something I'm not. I've spent too long struggling to find myself to allow myself to be pushed comfortably back into the box of the gender binary. To me it's just like forcing someone who's bisexual to choose either male or female for who they're attracted to but not both.

I know it probably seems to some that I'm nitpicking or too sensitive or something of the sort. It's just that this happens on so many websites it gets old and rather hurtful after a while. Those who don't fit in the gender binary are always pushed to the side and ignored/scorned. What I really wish is that all websites could just have a text box where you could type anything after gender. I actually own a website, a really really dead website, where I did that. It's so freeing to be able to put down exactly who you feel you are.

... well have you messaged Dujo about it like the other three said?

Whilst your explanations make sense, there's very little most people can do, except tell you to message Dujo about it.

So I have to message him about it? He won't just see this topic? What's the point of a suggestion forum if I have to just PM my suggestion to someone?

EDIT: That may have come off as a little rude and if it did I apologize. I'm just surprised that I'm being told to PM him right off about it. That's not usually how suggestions work on the sites I'm usually on.

^ Dujo hasn't been on in quite some time (as far as most of us know), so that's why it's better to just PM him. When he was online a lot he would post in the Suggestions forum, but he doesn't always have the time.

Plus I think posting on the suggestions helps filter out the ones Dujo should and shouldn't see.
Such as if a ridiculous suggestion came up, mods would point out the flaws in the suggestion rather than immediately telling the person to PM about something potentially useless.
So the thread's not all that pointless.

yes, i second this. at least one neutral option should be there.

Ya, I think an other option would be fine, or what if instead of selecting a gender you could write something in (such as for name, you just type it in instead of a list of options). I remember being on a different site once and I had this problem with my relationship status, it couldn't be left blank and you had to choose from the options given - I'm engaged, I'd be happy even just putting dating but the only options were "married," "single" and "looking." (my point is if I could just fill in my own option it would have been a lot easier).

Dirty Byrd:

Ya, I think an other option would be fine, or what if instead of selecting a gender you could write something in (such as for name, you just type it in instead of a list of options). I remember being on a different site once and I had this problem with my relationship status, it couldn't be left blank and you had to choose from the options given - I'm engaged, I'd be happy even just putting dating but the only options were "married," "single" and "looking."

I actually think that's a good idea.

Dirty Byrd:

Ya, I think an other option would be fine, or what if instead of selecting a gender you could write something in (such as for name, you just type it in instead of a list of options). I remember being on a different site once and I had this problem with my relationship status, it couldn't be left blank and you had to choose from the options given - I'm engaged, I'd be happy even just putting dating but the only options were "married," "single" and "looking." (my point is if I could just fill in my own option it would have been a lot easier).

The only thing with that is, people will put stupid stuff that had nothing to do with their gender.

I don't think we have male or female to be discriminatory, just practical. There is essentially an endless interpretations of what gender can be, so it's not possible to include everything, so I don't know exactly how to fix this. I mean, someone suggested neutral but what does that even mean? I think most transgender people have a clear idea of how they feel about gender and it's probably not "neutral", so they'd have the same problem. I'm going to bring it up in the admin forum though and see what we can come up with.

What if you had the option to just leave gender blank? That way, you're not misidentified, and if you want to elaborate on your profile you can?

Kurtni:

I mean, someone suggested neutral but what does that even mean? I think most transgender people have a clear idea of how they feel about gender and it's probably not "neutral", so they'd have the same problem.

But the option wouldn't really be for transgender people, more for people who aren't quite sure or aren't really "male" or "female". I'm a trans guy and I put "male" as my gender because that's how I see myself, I'd actually prefer to put "male" as opposed to "transgender" or something because if I could be a regular "male" I'd much prefer that. Y'know what - I think genderqueer or other would be a good option if not blank because that'd cover anything.

What if we did a forum, or someplace, where Members could suggest what should be added to the Gender list. Then, Dujo and/or the Admis and Mods could go through the list and select what's appropriate and add it to the list, so everyone can be happy about their Gender.

ladyschrei:

What if we did a forum, or someplace, where Members could suggest what should be added to the Gender list. Then, Dujo and/or the Admis and Mods could go through the list and select what's appropriate and add it to the list, so everyone can be happy about their Gender.

Yay! I like that idea!

Dirty Byrd:

But the option wouldn't really be for transgender people, more for people who aren't quite sure or aren't really "male" or "female". I'm a trans guy and I put "male" as my gender because that's how I see myself, I'd actually prefer to put "male" as opposed to "transgender" or something because if I could be a regular "male" I'd much prefer that. Y'know what - I think genderqueer or other would be a good option if not blank because that'd cover anything.

So you wouldn't be offended by selecting "other"? I just asked because I don't have any issues selecting gender, so I want a solution that works for the people who would use it.

Would other be better than leaving it blank?