I Like My Men or Women As I Like My Blank...

So, it's a silly game that I used to play with my college roommates and I thought I'd share. It's normally funny in groups, but we'll see how it goes. The object of this is to say a random word like "mailboxes" and it has to be attached to the phrase "I like my men or women (your choice) as I like my blank" the word "mailboxes fills in that blank and you have to think of a funny or not so funny punch line at the end. Not too confusing, right?

Person one: Mailboxes

Person Two: I like my men as I like my mailboxes...outside my house!

Then once the person has said their phrase. Give your random word after.

Shoes...

I like my woman as i like my shoes.. dirty

I like my woman as I like my shoes... loose.

Laptops.

I like my men as I like my laptops... hot, hard and on my lap

Food.

I like my men like I like my food: hot, fast, and easy to swallow. (Too far?)

books.

@vox populi. not at all.

I like my men like I like my books, interesting on the couch but still always good in bed.

Netflix.

I like my men like I like my Netflix, cheap, easy and available to everyone

Drinks.

I like my men like I like my drinks, in my fridge.

Pants?

I like my men as I like my pants, fit and always looking good.

Lemons?

I like my women as I like my lemons. Squirting and making me pucker my lips.

Paper?

I like my women like I like my paper... white. :O

I apologize for the racism.

Soap?

I like my men like I like my soap... all over me in the shower.

poop.

Oh, yeesh. I am not good with potty humor. BUT HERE WE GO.
I like my men like I like my poop... quick and done daily.

How about... television.

I like my men like I like my television... easy to control and turned on all night long.

Christmas tree.

I like my men like I like my Christmas trees...tall and erect.

Fire.

I like my men like I like my fire- hot, makes you sweat, and smokes.

Text book.

I like my women as I like my text books. Thick.

Nail polish.

@ cole pendery.
Niiiice one.
---

I like my men as I like my nail polish; on me all the time.

Deer.

I like my men as I like my deer; waiting unsuspectingly for me to attack them and bring them home.

Wallpaper.

I like my men as I like my wallpaper... bare

Guitar.