be your own anchor.

Emily was glaring daggers at Scott. She was pissed. No, she was beyond pissed. "I cannot believe you two," she snapped, knowing full well that if Stiles were in front of her, she'd be ripping into him as well. "You've been keeping this a secret from me? I didn't even know until Allison and Lydia said something to me. And I have to go to you to find out that Stiles thinks that he's dreaming, and that you're turning and can't control it." She honestly didn't know the last time that she had been this upset. Allison had come to her between classes, practically shaking. When she'd asked her what was wrong, she tried to explain, although Lydia gave most of the answers. But what had shocked her the most was that they'd assumed that she'd known. That Stiles or Scott would have told her. "I've been with you guys since the start of this, Scott. I'm in it now. Just because I'm not some goddamn werewolf or banshee doesn't mean that I can't help," she hissed, scowling at him.

---

Derek ran a hand through his hair, letting out a low sigh as he sat back in the front seat of his car. It was ridiculous, but he hadn't actually told anyone that he was back yet. He didn't want to deal with the questions of where he'd been, or what had happened. In all honesty, he was still working through that stuff himself. He let out a low sigh before forcing himself out of the car, glancing around the parking lot briefly. He hadn't wanted to, but he'd needed to make a quick trip to the grocery store, considering that there was literally nothing for him to eat at the loft. And he figured that he should do it during school hours, just so he was less likely to run into Scott or anyone else. He stepped into the familiar building, glancing around briefly before heading down the first aisle.

Jocelyn was still relatively new to Beacon Hills. Although she had moved into her apartment a couple of weeks before, she was still sort of getting her bearings and all that. She'd finally managed to unpack all of the boxes, which was a huge accomplishment, and she'd started adding a touch of her own flare to the place. She knew where most of the necessary places were around town like the grocery store, nearest gas station, pharmacy, mall and movie theater were, but she hadn't gotten the chance to really look around. She was hoping to do so at some point soon, however, today, she had some errands to run. Well, it was really just a list of things that she was hoping to get done today, and first thing on the list was to pick a few things up at the grocery store. She didn't need much, just some necessary things like milk, bread and eggs. She didn't need much. Half the time she was ordering take out anyway, so it wasn't like she was constantly going through things. Once she'd parked her car, she crossed the parking lot and headed into the building. Once she'd grabbed a basket, she headed down one of the aisles, hoping to make the trip as quick as she possibly could.

---

Stiles looked around once he'd walked through the doors of the school hoping to find Scott and the others. He hadn't really gotten much sleep the night before. He was still dealing with the same exact problem that he'd been dealing with the last couple of weeks, but everything only seemed to be getting worse. He never really knew if he was actually awake. He couldn't tell the difference between a dream and reality anymore. He was surprised that Emily hadn't noticed anything. He was sure that he hadn't been acting much like himself lately. It didn't take him very long to spot Scott, Allison, Lydia and Emily. He started down the hall towards them, frowning when he got closer and saw the expression on Emily's face. She was upset about something. He didn't know what about, but she was clearly upset. "Hey, what's going on?" He asked once he'd reached the group.

Derek ran a hand through his hair as he grabbed a basket, wanting to get through everything as fast as possible. Most people weren't paying him any attention, mostly due to the fact that he'd been gone for awhile. That probably meant that people had stopped caring about the Hales and their whole family drama. He wasn't paying attention as he walked down the aisle, more focused on grabbing some cereal, milk, and maybe a frozen pizza or two to be noticing anyone else. He accidentally bumped into someone, pulling him immediately from his thoughts. "Sorry, I wasn't paying attention," he said, his voice trailing off as he looked at who he'd bumped into. He felt his heart constrict. Paige. It wasn't possible, though. She was dead. She was most definitely dead. But there she was, standing right in front of him.

---

Emily watched as Scott ducked his head, his cheeks reddening slightly. "I didn't want to worry you," he mumbled softly. Emily scowled at him. "Worry me? That's all I've been doing!" She exclaimed. "I mean, Stiles has been acting weird lately, but I figured that everything was fine, that someone would tell me if there was something going on," she snapped, glaring at him. She glanced over when Stiles approached, her frown deepening. She heard Scott mumble something about how Stiles should've kept quiet, but she didn't care. "Why didn't you tell me?" She asked him, struggling to keep her voice strong. She didn't want to show it, but she felt betrayed by the fact that he hadn't confided in her. They'd been best friends since they were little kids, she'd thought that he would tell her anything. He used to tell her everything. She'd had to sit through hours of him droning on about Lydia, for crying out loud.

[Oh my God! Look at this sneak peek from Monday's episode! The scenes with Kate scare the crap out of me.]

Jocelyn was going through all the things that she was hoping to get done that day in her head as she headed down the aisle. Needless to say, she wasn't really paying much attention or mind to anything or anyone around her either. So, she wasn't all that surprised when she bumped into someone, or maybe it was the other way around, but she couldn't really be sure. "Don't worry about it. I kind of zoned out, so you're fine." She said, a small smile playing upon her lips as she looked up to see who it was. Of course it was an attractive guy. It always had to be an attractive guy. And she almost always found some way to embarrass herself. Usually anyway. She hadn't yet though, so maybe she wouldn't. Who knows though.

---

Stiles managed to catch the last thing that Emily said as he walked over. And he suddenly felt sick to his stomach. There was only one thing that they could be talking about. And it honestly made sense. That was why Emily seemed so pissed off. "Em, it's not Scott's fault. I told him not to tell you." He said. Initially, they'd been planning on telling her, but Stiles had decided against it, and pretty much begged Scott not to say anything. He just, like Scott said, didn't want to worry Emily. And it hadn't really seemed so bad at first either. Everything was getting worse and worse now. It had kind of just started as these vivid dreams and nightmares, but they had obviously escalated considering the fact that he really had no idea if this was even actually happening right now. For all he knew, it could have been another dream that he was going to wake up screaming from at any second now. "I didn't think it was going to be this bad."

[Oh. My. God. No, okay? Just no. Ugh. ]

Derek looked down at her, his brow furrowing slightly. Didn't she remember him? Was she even Paige? He felt like his knees might give out. Confusion ran through his mind, probably making him look like a total idiot standing there. "Yeah, I wasn't really paying attention either," he finally managed to get out, watching her closely. God, he just wanted to ask. He just wanted to be blunt, but he didn't want to freak her out. She obviously didn't recognize him, and that could mean that she'd somehow forgotten about him. Or that she wasn't even Paige. "I'm Derek, by the way," he said, hoping like Hell that he was grasping onto some type of sanity. He just needed to act normal, and see if she responded positively. And at that point, responding positively would be saying that her name was Paige and she remembered him.

---

Emily stared at Stiles incredulously. She couldn't believe it. They told each other everything. When Scott was turned, Stiles freaked out and told her. When the whole thing with Jackson and the kanima happened, she was right there. He told her about Lydia kissing him, for crying out loud. But she was being kept out now? "You told him not to tell me?" She asked, her voice soft. She noticed Allison and Lydia motioning to Scott to walk away out of the corner of her eye, but she didn't care. It would be easier to yell at Stiles if it was just the two of them. "Then you should have told me the moment it got this bad, Stiles. You can't read and you don't even know that you're awake. I can't believe you. I mean, I thought you were an idiot sometimes, but I just -" Her voice cracked. She was scared for him and she couldn't do anything for him.

[This show is going to mess with my head soooo much.]

Jocelyn noticed confusion cross his face, and she wondered why it had. She didn't say anything though. She didn't know this guy. They'd literally just bumped into each other maybe ten seconds ago? If that. She nodded slowly, unsure really of what to say. Yep, she most certainly wasn't good with this sort of thing. She hadn't quite embarrassed herself yet, but she was sure that it wouldn't be much longer until she did. She was taken from her own thoughts when he spoke again, introducing himself. "Jocelyn." She offered, the smallest of smiles tugging at the corners of her lips. It almost seemed like he was waiting for something. She didn't know what it could be, but she could tell that that was what he was doing.

---

Stiles could see the betrayal written all over her face. Now he wasn't so sure that keeping all of this from her was such a good idea. It had for a while now, but he didn't think that it was so much anymore. He knew that they pretty much told each other everything. There had never really ever been any secrets with them. Until now anyway. "Yeah, I did." He said quietly. He didn't even notice Allison and Lydia motioning for Scott to walk away. If he had, it probably wouldn't have mattered much anyway. "I know, Emily. I'm an idiot. I'm an asshole. I'm a shit friend. I'm all of those things for keeping this from you, and I'm sorry." He said honestly. "I didn't think it was going to get this bad, so I didn't want you to worry about it. And when it started getting bad, I didn't know how to tell you."

Derek felt his heart fall when she said her name. Maybe it was Paige, and something had happened. He internally berated himself. He couldn't do this to himself. Paige was dead. She had to be. But it wouldn't hurt to make sure that this wasn't Paige, would it? "It was nice to meet you, Jocelyn," he said softly, allowing a small smile on his face. Honestly, it was his duty to make sure that this wasn't Paige. What if something had happened, and she'd forgotten who she was? It was his job then, to help her out. And if it wasn't her, then he would leave her alone. But he had to make sure that this wasn't Paige. He wouldn't forgive himself if she really was Paige, and he just let her pass him by. He had to make things right. He just had to.

---

Emily stared up at him, her brow furrowing slightly as she watched him. "You're a complete and total moron, Stiles," she mumbled, starting to feel her anger deflate as she watched him. "Why didn't you want to tell me? You told me when Scott was bitten, and the whole Jackson thing and the whole sacrifice thing. I was there when you went under, Stiles. Why on earth would you not have told me?" She ran a hand through her hair, ignoring the fact that they were supposed to be in class. She wasn't sure that she even wanted to go to class. "You didn't know how to tell me? It would have been easy. Hey Emily, can I talk to you? I think I'm going crazy." Her voice was laced with sarcasm as she frowned up at him. But Lydia had known. Which meant that someone had told Lydia. She felt her heart constrict, wondering why she'd been the one that was left in the dark. "I just want to help, Stiles."

Jocelyn honestly didn't know what he could have been waiting for. How could she have known though? He was a complete stranger, and she was new to town. She didn't really know much of what had gone on in the past around here. She'd arrived just after things had cleared up with all of those murders, which she didn't actually know about. It wasn't like she'd bothered doing much research on the town when she'd been looking for an apartment. Beacon Hills had just seemed like a nice, small town. It seemed like your typical small town really. And she'd wanted a change of scenery. All she'd ever lived in was big cities, so a small town was something she'd decided she wanted to try living in. And that's how she'd found herself here. "It was nice to meet you too, Derek." She said quietly, the smile still on her face. She was still surprised that she had yet to embarrass herself in some way. Normally she would have by now, though she knew that it was probably only a matter of time before she did.

---

Stiles could see that she wasn't nearly as angry with him anymore. She was probably still upset, and he totally didn't blame her for that. He knew now that keeping all of this from her had probably been one of the worst ideas he had ever come up with in his life. He should have told her straight away. He shouldn't have kept her in the dark. She was his best friend. She'd been his friend before Scott. They'd known each other since they were little kids. He should have told her. "That's just it, Emily. I told you about everything else. I dragged you into all of this when I shouldn't have. Your life isn't normal anymore because you know about all of this. I didn't think this was going to get this bad, so I didn't think it was something you needed to know." He said. He sighed softly at her later words, knowing that he deserved all of this. He should have just told her. "You make it sound so easy, and maybe I'm just making things harder than I should. I don't know. I'm sorry I didn't tell you though, Em. I honestly don't know if you can help me. I don't know if anyone can. I don't even know if we're actually having this conversation right now."

Derek wasn't known by any stretch of imagination to be personable and well, not broody. But he could pretend to be normal for the sake of making sure that this wasn't Paige. "Are you new here?" He asked, figuring that he could always say that Beacon Hills was a small town, and that most people noticed if someone new was in town. He offered her a small smile, shifting slightly on the balls of his feet. He could remember when he was younger, and he was so cocky and outgoing. Now, he just wanted to make sure that everything was okay and that there wasn't some psycho supernatural being on the loose. He looked down at her, wondering if she knew about the murders. She probably didn't if she just moved here. He was pretty sure that no one would willingly move to Beacon Hills if they knew even half of the murders that had gone on in the past year.

---

Emily looked up at him and frowned. It pained her to know that he was going through all of this, and she couldn't do a single thing. She'd been with them when they went up against the alphas in the hospital. She'd sat by that bin of water while Stiles was under for sixteen hours. She'd been there every step of the way, but now she was completely helpless. They all were. "Oh, can we not start arguing about how you dragged me into this? I would have thrown myself into it if you hadn't told me, and you know that," she said, not wanting to start another argument. She looked up at him, a frown on her face before she grabbed his hand and started pulling him down the now empty hall. "Fine then, if you're not sure if you're awake, then it won't matter if we skip a day of school," she said, letting go of his hand as she looked over to him. "Obviously you shouldn't be in school right now anyway if you're having trouble with, well, everything. So let's go back home, alright? I'll drive."

Jocelyn didn't really think anything of it when he asked her if she was new to town. She just sort of assumed that it was because Beacon Hills was a small enough town. Maybe it was one of those towns where everyone somehow knew everyone or everyone at least knew someone who knew the other person and so on and so fourth. It was something that she wasn't used to. She'd lived in Chicago until she was maybe eight or nine and then her parents got divorced. So, she ended up living with her dad until she was eighteen. He'd moved to LA, and she'd gone to college at UCLA. So yeah, no experience with small towns at all. "Is it that obvious?" She asked, letting out a soft laugh.

---

Stiles sighed. "Yeah I guess you're right." He said, frowning slightly. She probably would have somehow found a way to throw herself into all of this crazy supernatural stuff even if he hadn't told her everything in the beginning. It didn't matter though. He still felt like he'd dragged her into this and caused her to have anything but a normal life. And he was probably always going to think that too. He was just glad that nothing bad had happened to her. He didn't know what he would have done if something had ever happened to her. He wouldn't be able to deal with that. Losing Heather had been bad enough and then nearly having his dad ritually sacrificed by Jennifer had been ten times worse than that. Before he could say anything else, she was pulling him down the hallway towards the double doors at the end of it. "I guess I don't have a say in this either way."

Derek looked down at her, an easy smile slipping onto his features. "Kind of, yeah," he said with a quiet laugh. "Everyone knows everyone here, so it's pretty obvious when there's a new face around," he said, trying to ignore the fact that she might not be new, she might just not remember him. So she moved there from somewhere else. Could she be moving back? "Are you moving back from here, or completely new?" He asked. Sure, he might be coming off as a little nosy, but he hoped that he was acting more like he was trying to keep the conversation going than anything else. He wanted, no, he needed, to know. Because if it was Paige, then he could make it up to her. Sure, he was ignoring the fact that his eyes had changed colors and the whole nematon thing, but he wasn't thinking right. This could be Paige. He wanted her to be Paige.

---

Emily looked up at him, furrowing her brow. "I'm always right," she said easily, wanting to get at least a small smile out of him. She honestly couldn't remember the last time she'd seen a genuine, happy Stiles smile from him. She sighed softly. She missed how things used to be, how the hardest thing in her life was whether or not she had a crush on Stiles, and if he liked her back. But that was put to the back burner now because there were more important things going on that some stupid crush. "Not really. Finstock's been particularly up your ass recently, and I don't want you to have one of your hallucinations in his class. You shouldn't have to deal with explaining those," she said, feeling her protectiveness of him start to rise. She just wanted him to be able to wind down for awhile. He needed to relax, he had to if he was going to remain sane.

Jocelyn nodded as a faint smile tugged at the corners of her lips. "That's understandable, I guess." She said. So she had been right. It was obvious that she was new particularly because she was living in a small town now and not some big city like she was used to doing. "Completely new. I'm from LA, well, I moved from LA. I'm actually from Chicago, but that's besides the point." She cut herself off, realizing that she was starting to ramble. She had yet to embarrass herself and she wanted to stop herself before she even came close to doing so.

---

Stiles rolled his eyes at her words, the faintest of smiles appearing on his face. "Yeah, okay." He mumbled, sarcasm laced with his words. He couldn't remember the last time that he'd actually had a somewhat lighthearted conversation like this with anyone. Especially not with Emily. He knew he'd probably been acting a lot not like himself lately. But how could he really act like himself when he was so on edge because of this whole not knowing if it was a dream or reality thing. "Well, I guess we're leaving school then." He shrugged his shoulders. He knew that she probably wouldn't take no for an answer. That was just how Emily was and had always been.

Derek offered her a small smile, shrugging his shoulders as he did so. He cocked a brow as she spoke, almost verging on rambling. He almost felt his heart drop when she said that she was completely new. She definitely couldn't be lying, because her heart rate stayed the same. But she could have amnesia. "You're originally from Chicago? I have family up there." He was lying, but he knew that it would help continue on the conversation. He was glad that Peter wasn't there to see him acting like this. He wouldn't let him live it down, but if she did turn out to be Paige... Maybe then he could actually be happy. He ran a hand through his hair, shooting her a quick smile. God, she reminded him so much of Paige that it almost hurt him.

---

Emily looked up at him, smiling when she saw him smile. Sure, it was pretty faint, but it was still a smile, and that made her feel quite accomplished. "You know it's true. Don't get sarcastic with me," she said, nudging him with her hip gently. She wanted him to relax, if only a little bit. She knew that he was freaking out, and she didn't want that. She wanted to make sure that he was okay. "Oh, we are," she said, reaching for his hand once more as she led him out the doors. She wanted to make sure that he wasn't going to bail on her. He usually didn't, but he wasn't acting like himself. She glanced over to him, watching him as they walked. "Stiles, I - " She cut herself off, unsure of what she wanted to say. "I'm always going to be there for you, alright? No matter how hard you may try to push me away, I'm not going anywhere. You can rely on me, alright?"

Jocelyn smiled. "Really? I would say that I might know them, but I moved to LA when I was eight, so I haven't really been there much recently." She admitted, shrugging her shoulders slightly. After her parents got divorced and she ended up going to LA with her dad, her mom moved to New York, so it wasn't like she really went to Chicago to visit anyone anymore. And it wasn't like Chicago was some sort of a small town like Beacon Hills was. It would be really crazy if she knew whatever family members he had who lived in Chicago. A really small world.

---

"Me? Sarcastic? I would never. I can't believe you're even insinuating that, Emily." Stiles said, his tone still holding obvious traces of sarcasm. And he was still, surprisingly enough, smiling. It almost felt foreign to him now. He couldn't remember the last time a conversation he'd had, in reality or in a dream, that had been so lighthearted like this. Or, at least somewhat lighthearted anyway. "I'm not going to bail on you, Em." He said when she took his hand and led him out the doors. He could tell just by how she was acting. He looked over to her when she spoke, listening to her words before he nodded his head slowly. "Alright, thanks." He said quietly. And he really did mean that. He knew that he was going to need her if he was going to get through this.

Derek nodded his head, returning her smile easily. "I haven't been there to see anyone since I was pretty little too. They're distant cousins, or something," he said, figuring that the distant cousin angle would be easy to play if she asked their names or anything. He could just make them up - or say that he honestly couldn't remember, since he'd never grown up around them. He felt bad about lying, but he needed to know if this was Paige or not. "I should probably let you get back to your shopping," he said, motioning to her basket with a small smile. It'd be creepy of him to just stand there and continue to talk to her. He figured that he could find her later, anyway.

---

Emily looked up at him, unable to keep herself from smiling as he spoke. Her smile switched to a full blown grin when she saw that he was still smiling. "Oh please. You know that I learned all of my sarcasm from you," she told him, laughing softly to herself. She grew quiet for a moment when he spoke, reminded that he knew her too well. "Just making sure," she said, dropping his hand. Sh wasn't necessarily reassured by him, mostly due to the fact that she knew that he'd been keeping things from her, and she wasn't sure if there was anything else that he was keeping from her. "You don't have to thank me, Stiles," she murmured softly, glancing up to him as she stopped once she'd reached her car.

Jocelyn nodded, a small smile tugging at the corners of her lips. "It's still funny either way. I mean, what were the odds?" She said. Even though she probably didn't know his cousins, it was still weird that he happened to have family in Chicago, where she'd lived for a number of years. It showed how small the world could really be sometimes. "And I should probably let you get back to yours." She said, suddenly remembering why she'd come here in the first place. "It was nice talking to you, Derek." And she really meant what she said. It had been nice talking to him. He seemed like a nice guy, and she'd liked talking to him.

---

Stiles was really beginning to wonder why he'd thought keeping all of this from her had been such a good idea. Emily was his best friend. And sure, he felt bad for dragging her into all of this, but she'd always been there for him no matter what. He should have known that she'd want to be there for him now too. Of course, for all he knew, this could be a dream and he could wake up any second now and realize that she still didn't know the truth. And, in that case, he probably would have ended up telling her. "Yeah, I guess you're right." He shook his head, the faintest of smiles on his face. He followed her over to her car, stopping when she did. "I think I do, Em. I was an asshole for keeping all of this from you, and you're being an amazing friend. So, yeah, I do need to thank you for putting up with my bullshit."

Derek laughed quietly, offering her a smile. "Yeah, it's weird," he said, biting back every single tell that would out him about the fact that he was lying through his teeth. He nodded his head, glancing down to his basket briefly before looking back to her. "It was nice talking to you too. I'm sure I'll eventually see you around again. Beacon Hills isn't that small of a town," he said. God, he wanted to see her again. If she was Paige, then he could make things right. She was the only girl that he'd ever really been in love with. And all of that was gone in an instant. But he couldn't think about that. He had to focus on how he was going to see her again, to make sure that she was, in fact, Paige.

---

Emily looked over him, her brow furrowing for a moment. She really was worried about him. What if something happened during class, and he completely freaked out? What if she couldn't be there for him, or Scott? They couldn't really tell anyone what was going on, because they'd think that they were insane. Emily shook her head, frowning at him as he spoke. "You're my best friend, Stiles. You don't have to thank me for putting up with all of your bullshit. I've put up with it my whole life." She nudged him lightly to let him know that she was only teasing before stepping towards the driver's side of her car. "Now come on. We can order pizza and marathon Netflix, or something," she said, shooting him a small smile before she went to get into her car.

The faintest of smiles tugged at the corners of Jocelyn's lips. It was honestly just really ironic that he happened to know people from Chicago. Showed how small of a world it could really be. Obviously she didn't realize that he was lying. She didn't realize that the only reason he was actually still talking to her was because he thought she was someone else. Someone who she wasn't in the slightest. "Yeah, that's very likely." She said, pausing for a moment. "I should um getting back to shopping then..." She wasn't sure of what else to say after that and, awkwardly, went back to what she'd been doing before they'd bumped into each other.

---

Stiles couldn't remember the last time that he'd smiled this much. With everything that had been going on over the course of the last couple of weeks, it was kind of hard just to sit back and relax for a while. And now everything that was going on with him made it even harder. But, somehow, Emily managed to bring the overly sarcastic kid back out in him. And he was able to have somewhat lighthearted conversations, if at least for a few moments anyway. "Well, I'm going to thank you anyway...so thanks, Em." He smiled slightly before nodding and walking to the passenger's side of the car. "Sounds good."

Derek nodded his head, the faint smile still plastered onto his lips. He scratched at the back of his neck, feeling the air between them suddenly grow a bit awkward. "I probably should too," he said, speaking slowly as though he really wasn't sure what else to say. He watched her for a couple of seconds as she went back to shopping before he forced himself to grab the rest of the stuff. He managed to pay quickly, hurrying out to his car. He threw everything in the back seat before slipping in, letting his head hit the head rest as he let out a low sigh. He couldn't believe it. What if it was her? What if it was really her?

---

Emily glanced to his lips, feeling something flutter in her, knowing that she was the reason that he was smiling. She honestly hadn't seen him smile like that in weeks. Not since everything with the nematon had happened. And when he had smiled, it was obviously fake. She wanted to tell him that he didn't need to thank her, but she knew that that argument would go on and on. "You're welcome, Stiles," she said softly, offering him a small smile before she slipped into the driver's seat. She waited til he was inside before she started up the car, pulling out of her parking space quickly. She wanted to get out of there fast, so no one would see them leaving.