be your own anchor.

"You're telling me." Jocelyn mumbled, a slight frown tugging at the corners of her lips. She couldn't believe that she hadn't heard about any of this. A few deaths here and there was one thing, but a full-fledged serial killer? That was bound to make the national news, and yet she hadn't heard a single thing about it. It just didn't make sense to her at all. "I'll be sure to keep that in mind. Thanks for letting me know." She said honestly. She was sure that she would have heard about it sooner or later, but she was glad that he'd something and made it sooner rather than later. "I don't blame them either. I guess I'll have to stick to the road or get a gym membership or something." There was no way in hell that she was going to run out here in these woods anymore. Not by herself at least.

---

Stiles paused for a moment when she squeezed his hand and turned his head to look at her. He was quiet for a few moments, listening to what she had to say. "It sure as hell feels like I am." He mumbled, frowning. And it really did. He didn't know what was wrong with him, and it was all honestly freaking him out. "In a dream things are usually distorted. Nothing's really as it seems. A person could look completely different but still be the same person. Or they could look the same but something could be off about them. Like they might have extra fingers or toes or something." He said.

Derek let his breathing start to become a bit heavier, although their pace wasn't affecting him in the slightest. But he was worried. Why hadn't she heard anything about the killings? It just didn't make sense. Unless she was Paige, and she really didn't do that much research on Beacon Hills. Maybe she was just drawn back to it. That would make sense. "You're welcome. I just don't want you getting hurt," he said, offering her a small smile as he glanced over to her. He hesitated a moment, pretending to think before speaking again. "Well, I could run with you out here, if you wanted. I know these woods like the back of my hand. I grew up out here," he said, making sure to keep his voice relaxed.

---

Emily frowned as he spoke. How was she supposed to help him when he was like this? Even Scott couldn't really do anything. If it was something physical, then she would have felt as though she could do something. But all of this was in his mind. "Okay, then look at me, Stiles. Anything off?" She asked him, letting go of his hand to hold it front of him, bring up her other hand as well. "See? All ten fingers. No more, no less," she said, speaking quietly. "There would have to be something off about me. And there isn't. So that means that you're awake, yeah?" She spoke softly, not wanting to upset him. But she needed him to understand that he was, in fact, awake.

Jocelyn's breathing had gotten heavier earlier on. Yeah, she was definitely a bit out of shape. She hadn't gone for a run in ages. It felt like that anyway. She smiled slightly at his words and nodded. She really did appreciate the fact that he'd told her about everything that had been going on here in Beacon Hills. Although she still didn't know how she hadn't heard about any of it, she was glad that she wasn't really in the dark about it anymore. She was kind of surprised by his later words, though she had an answer almost immediately. She kept her cool though, and paused for a moment before speaking. "If it wouldn't be too much trouble, that would be great."

---

Stiles' gaze had shifted from her for a moment as he spoke, however, he looked back over to her when she asked him to. Hesitantly at first, but only for a couple of moments. He looked down at her hands, mentally counting each of her fingers until he reached ten. He looked back to her and nodded slowly. "Yeah." He said quietly. He paused for a moment, just watching her, before he spoke again. "Thanks, Em." He didn't know what else to say to her. She was being an amazing friend. She'd always been an amazing friend.

Derek didn't like the idea of her running in the woods by herself. But his thought process was derailed for a moment as he heard her breathing get heavier. He was almost tempted to slow down, but he didn't want to annoy her in case she wanted to keep pace. So instead he let his breathing get a bit deeper, pretending that he was in the same shape that she was in. He looked over to her, grinning when she agreed. "It's not any trouble at all. I'm not a huge fan of running by myself anyway," he said, looking back to the path. Secretly, he was elated that she'd agreed. It'd be easier to get to know her, and make sure that she was safe. Because he wasn't going to let anything happen to her.

---

Emily kept quiet, keeping her hands up as he looked down at her fingers. She waited until he looked back up to her to drop her hands into her lap. She offered him a small smile, sighing softly. Without warning she scooted even closer, wrapping her arms around him and resting her head on his shoulder. She hugged him all of the time. Granted, sometimes it was because she just liked being close to him, but at that moment she just wanted to comfort him. "You're welcome, Stiles," she said softly, unsure of what else to say.

Jocelyn was kind of glad that he'd offered to run with her from now on. Not only because she knew she probably wouldn't go into the woods by herself again, but also because it was an excuse for her to see him more often. And she wasn't afraid to admit that she wanted to see him more often. She'd been hoping that she would run into him again for days now. She really didn't know why that was the case, but it was, and now she had an in more or less. "Alright." She said, offering him a small smile.

---

Emily had always been there for Stiles. He considered Scott to be one of his best friends, but Emily had been his best friend first. She'd been there for him through everything: his mom's illness, her death, and pretty much any rough patches he'd gone through in his life. She was one of the few people who actually put up with his bullshit. And it seemed as though she was going to continue to do so now. Even when he was probably at his worst. Wordlessly, he wrapped his arms around her, and pulled her even closer than she already was. He let out a soft sigh, but didn't say anything.

Derek felt better that she'd agreed to have him go running with her. He knew that Peter would give him even more crap about it, but he didn't care. He wanted Paige - er, Jocelyn - to be safe. Because even if she wasn't Paige, she should still be safe. He glanced over to her, shooting her a quick smile. He could hear her heart pounding as they ran, and he wondered if she needed a break. He didn't want to say anything to offend her, though. So instead, he started to make his breathing a bit deeper. After running for a couple more minutes, he glanced over to her, panting slightly. "You mind if we rest up here? I haven't ran in awhile," he said, figuring that he could pretend that he needed the break, just in case she needed one herself.

---

Emily felt herself relax as he wrapped his arms around her, her eyes slipping shut as he pulled her even closer. They'd always been close like this. They'd grown up together, from swimming naked in her little blow up pool when she was three, to him sneaking into her bedroom at fifteen so he could rant to her about how stupid Lydia was to be with Jackson. They'd gone through everything together. He'd been there for her through everything, and she just wanted him to be happy. So it scared her that he was like this, and that they were so helpless. She didn't know what else to do. So she sat there with him, her arms around him, a soft sigh leaving her lips. Maybe it wasn't helping, but it was better than him freaking out.

Jocelyn honestly had something to look forward to now. She wouldn't exactly admit it to herself just yet, but she liked talking to Derek. And she was hoping to get to know him a bit better. And she had an excuse to do so now that they were planning on running together. So, she'd get to see him more frequently and get a daily dose of exercise. She was killing two birds with one stone. There were a few minutes of silence where she focused on the path in front of her and her breathing. Her heart was pounding and her breathing a bit heavy, but she was doing okay. "Yeah, sure." She said when he asked if they could take a break. In all honesty, she could kind of use one, though she hadn't wanted to actually admit to it.

---

Stiles was quiet for a while. He just sat there, arms wrapped around her as he held her close. This was probably the most relaxed that he'd been in a really long time. He couldn't even relax when he was asleep anymore. The nightmares were really starting to get to him, and even when he was asleep, he woke up exhausted. Or it took him screaming himself awake to wake himself up. So, just having this opportunity to relax was amazing. Without really thinking much about it, he hid his face in her hair, inhaling deeply.

Derek let his feet carry him easily, pounding on the ground in step with Jocelyn. He glanced over to her, offering her a quick smile when she agreed. He ran for a couple more minutes, stopping only when they got to a clearing. He slowed down, resting his hands on his thighs as he pretended to take in a deep breath. "I haven't ran in awhile," he said, pasting a sheepish grin onto his face. He looked over to her, shrugging his shoulders briefly. He straightened up, stretching his arms over his head, his shirt lifting up without him realizing it. "So do you usually run everyday?" He asked her, dropping his arms as he glanced over to her.

---

Emily was fine with them just sitting there like that, her eyes slipped shut as she leaned against him. She felt perfectly at home like this with him. That is, until he buried his face into her hair. She could feel him inhale, her heart starting to pound almost immediately. It was like every nerve end was on high alert. She told herself that she needed to relax, that this was just Stiles. But she couldn't.. She kept her body relaxed, but on the inside she was tense. She knew how she felt about him, but she'd ignored those feelings. She didn't want to lose his friendship. "You alright?" She asked him softly, not moving an inch.

Jocelyn slowed down, allowing herself to catch her breath a bit before she spoke. "Me neither." She said honestly. She hadn't gone for a run in a couple of weeks. She'd been so busy with the move and then when she finally did move, she'd been getting herself settled. Finally, she felt like she'd settled in enough to get back to her usual routine, and going for a run was a part of that. "I try to. Sometimes it doesn't work out that way, but yeah, usually I do." She said honestly, unable to help noticing how his shirt lifted a bit when he stretched his arms over his head. He clearly was no stranger to a good workout. She quickly averted her gaze, not wanting to get caught staring.

---

Stiles was glad that she was okay with the silence. This wasn't a very common occurrence for either of them. One of them normally would have said something by now, but things weren't normal anymore. They hadn't been normal for a very long time actually. "Yeah, I'm fine." He murmured softly. He was actually. Well, he was as fine as he could be considering everything that had been going on. This was the most relaxed and ok that he'd been in a while though.

Derek ran a hand through his hair, a crooked grin slipping across his lips for a moment before his hand ran over his face, a sigh leaving his lips. His heart was barely even in an uproar. "So you want to meet everyday?" He asked, curiosity raking through his voice. He looked over to her, noticing that she looked away rather quickly. He cocked a brow in her direction, wondering as to what she'd been looking at. The thought left his mind, though, when he looked her over briefly. It was like seeing Paige, and it hit him all over again.

---

It was taking Emily all that she had within her to not jerk from his grip. It wasn't that she didn't like it - she really liked it. She liked how safe he made her feel, how she felt like she could just completely relax and stay there for a long time. But that's what freaked her out. She knew that he didn't feel that way about her. At least, that's what she'd thought. But he wasn't even in the state of mind to think about something like that. He had more important things to think about. So she just kept quiet, letting herself lean against him, her heart still pounding like crazy.

"Yeah, that would be great actually." Jocelyn said honestly, a small smile tugging at the corners of her lips. So she'd get her run in every single day, but she'd also get to see him every day. She wouldn't have to hope that she ran into him by chance somewhere in town. And, as much as she didn't want to admit it, was what she'd been doing since she saw him at the supermarket the other day: hoping to run into him somewhere, anywhere really. "If that's alright with you, of course." She added as an after thought, not wanting him to think that he had to meet up with her every single day.

---

Stiles stayed like that for a while, his arms wrapped around her waist and his face buried in her hair. This all honestly kind of calmed him down a lot. However, he was forced to pull back when the doorbell rang. "Pizza's here." He said once he had pulled away. He stood up and pulled his wallet out of his backpack. "I've got it." He told her before going to answer the door and pay the pizza guy. He figured that the least he could do was pay for their food. She'd been an amazing friend today, and he wanted to repay her in one way or another.

Derek looked over to her and shot her a grin, giving his head a quick nod. "Yeah, that sounds good to me. "You want to meet up where we met earlier?" He asked her, watching her for a moment. He liked the idea of running with her every day. Especially if she was Paige. He wanted her to be Paige so bad it almost hurt him. "Same time, too?" He added. He didn't have anything else to do. He lived sparsely off the money from the insurance claims from the fire. He ran a hand through his hair, taking a deep breath and glancing around the area for a second before looking back to her.

---

Emily could feel his breath hit her neck every so often, goose bumps rising on her skin as the warm air. She frowned as the doorbell rang, wiping it off of her face when he spoke. "Oh alright, but I'll - " She cut herself off when he said that he would get it, shaking her head. She stood up, heading into the kitchen to grab a couple of plates and cups. She brought them back into the living room, setting them on the coffee table before she reached for her wallet. She wasn't going to let him pay. She would pay him back. He had enough going on, and she wanted to do this for him.

Jocelyn gave her shoulders a slight shrug. "Yeah, that works for me." She said before nodding. "So same time and place." She had an in now. She had an excuse to see him again. And not just once more. They'd made arrangements to run together every day. She couldn't lie and say that she wasn't pleased about that in the slightest bit. To be completely honest, she really wasn't all that good with stuff like this. Talking to attractive guys. She normally made an idiot out of herself somehow already, but she hadn't yet, and she was honestly kind of surprised that she hadn't. She was sure that it was only a matter of time before she embarrassed herself somehow, some way though.

---

Stiles didn't wait for her to finish what she'd started saying before walking out of the living room and to the door. "Thanks, man." he said, paying the pizza guy and taking the boxes of food from him. He closed the door behind him before heading back into the living room. "Smells good." He commented as he set the boxes down on the coffee table in front of the couch. This all felt so normal and familiar to him. They used to do stuff like this all the time before things started getting really crazy.

Derek looked over to her, feeling a grin start to tug at the corners of his mouth. "good," He said. He had an excuse to see her now, to get to know her. He just knew that she was Paige. She had to be. Regardless of what Peter said, Derek knew that there was more to this than her just being Jocelyn. There just had to be. "So you want to keep going, or you want to start to head back?" He asked her, unsure as to what she wanted to do. He glanced around, starting to feel a little uneasy. He didn't know what was still in these woods, and he didn't want her in danger.

---

Emily shook her head, feeling like things were a little more normal than they had been in a long time. She cocked a brow at him, letting out a hum of agreement. "You know what smells even better?" She asked, a sly smile easing onto her features. "Me paying you back," she said, holding out a twenty to him. "And don't argue with me. I'll win. Like always," she said, feeling a bit more at ease with him. She had a teasing smile on her face as she reached over to open up the soda, glancing over to him quickly.

Jocelyn offered a small smile in return. She was glad that she had an excuse to see him again. She wouldn't have to hope to run into him around town somewhere anymore. Frankly, she probably wouldn't have been forward enough to do anything to make this happen. "I guess we can start heading back." She said. She wouldn't have minded if he'd wanted to go longer, she'd be with him longer, but she was a bit uneasy after what he'd told her. That and she hadn't gone for a run in what felt like ages.

---

Stiles frowned at her words. "Not a chance, Em." He said, shaking his head. "It was only pizza and some cheese sticks. It's not a big deal." He was still going to argue with her even if she told him not to. He wanted to pay for the pizza. He didn't need her to pay him back. "Think of it as part of my apology for being an asshole recently." He still felt bad for keeping her in the dark about everything that was going on with him, Scott and Allison. He knew that she'd said it was alright, and that she forgave him, but it didn't make him feel any less shitty.

Derek glanced around once more. He wasn't sure that there was anything even in the woods, but he didn't want to risk anything. He hadn't talked to Scott yet, and there was probably something else wrong. There always seemed to be something else wrong. He glanced over to Jocelyn, giving his head a nod as she spoke. He ran his fingers through his hair as he watched her. There was just something about her that screamed 'Paige' to him. Maybe it was the way that she looked at him sometimes, or how she spoke. Or her mannerisms. Or, well, everything she did.

---

Emily frowned at him. She didn't want him to pay her. It wasn't a big deal for her to pay, either. "Yeah, but it was my idea. So I should pay you back," she argued, shifting in her seat. She poured herself a glass of the soda, taking a sip from it once she'd capped the bottle. "You weren't being an asshole. You were being a moron. There's a distinct difference," she told him, not wanting to feel bad about his choices. Yeah, he should have told her and it annoyed her, but she didn't want him to beat himself up over it. She wanted to keep him happy, at least for a little while.

Jocelyn still honestly had no idea why she hadn't heard anything about what had happened in Beacon Hills in the last year. Wasn't that something she should have heard about or read about somewhere? She definitely should have heard about the sacrificial murders, right? That was something that should have made the news. Los Angeles was a different part of the state, but that was something that would have made the national news. She knew now though, and that was really what mattered. Glancing over to him, he noticed how he was looking at her. "What?" She said quietly.

---

Stiles shook his head. "It doesn't mattered. I wanted to pay for the pizza, and I did. You don't need to pay me back, Em. It really isn't a big deal." He assured her. He could be just as stubborn as she was when he wanted to be and he was adamant about at least paying for the pizza. He let out a humorless chuckle in response to her words. "Because that still makes what I did ok." He mumbled sarcastically.

Derek was staring. He knew that he was staring, and he was pretty sure that he was being incredibly obvious about it. Maybe it was how she held herself, he thought to himself, trying to figure out just what it was that just screaming 'Paige'. "What?" He asked, his voice suddenly sounding a little too loud compared to her soft word. "I - Nothing. Just nothing. You ready to go?" He asked, trying his hardest not to stammer as he spoke. He needed to relax. He had to.

---

"I'm going to pay you back. So either take the money or I'm forcefully shoving this money into your pocket, okay?" Emily said, frowning up at him. She took a step forward, crossing her arms as she watched. "Look, just stop it, okay? I forgive you. I'm not saying that it was okay to do that, but I do forgive you, so just stop it. Please, for me, okay?" She asked, looking up at him through her lashes.

Jocelyn quirked a brow in his direction, obviously not all that convinced by his words, not with how much he'd been stumbling over them, and part of her wanted to choose her response carefully, though the other part of her was quick to retaliate. Quicker than the part that was careful in choosing her words. "You sure about that?" She questioned, shrugging her shoulders in response to his question. "I'm ready when you are."

---

Stiles let out a soft sigh. He knew that he wasn't going to win this argument, if it was even an argument, which he wasn't so sure that he considered it to be one, more like slight bickering between friends. "Alright, fine. Pay me back for the damn pizza." He said, holding his hands up in obvious defeat. He couldn't help beating himself up over this whole thing. He hadn't meant to hurt her. If anything, he'd been protecting her, or at least trying to do so. "It's easier said than done, Em."

"Positive, actually. Positive." Derek was screwed. So screwed. He hadn't felt this way about anyone in a long time, but he knew that it was solely because she looked like Paige. And acted like Paige. And talked like Paige. She was essentially the reincarnation of Paige, and it was throwing him off. He needed to stop. "We should probably head out now. We shouldn't be out here when it gets too late," he said, even though he knew that they had plenty of time. But still. He didn't want anyone else getting hurt out here.

---

Emily let herself grin victoriously for a moment. She held out the money and pressed it into his hand, looking up at him the whole time. "Stiles, I just - You're hurting me when you beat yourself up like this. I hate seeing you like this. It's fine as long as you just let me know what's going on with you. I want to be there for you, for everything. I mean, I am the one that you told about your dream about Lydia when we were like, twelve. You should know that you can tell me anything after that," she said, trying to make him at least smile a little.