i will let you down, i will make you hurt.

Abigail ended up doing 2 more lines before she felt satisfied. She smiled at herself in the mirror. The cocaine gave her the self confidence that she has lacked her whole life.
She stripped down and hopped in the shower.
Taking a shower while high was one of her favorite things. It intensified the high to the point where she felt like she was going to pass out. She loved it.

As she stepped back to grab the soap she noticed a trail of pink water run down her stomach.
"What the fuck?" She said as she opened the shower curtain to look at herself in the mirror.
She noticed blood pouring out of her nose.
"Matt!" She screamed frantically. She stepped out of the shower and grabbed a towel, holding it to her nose.

---

When Zacky woke up the next morning, still cuddled with Kristen. He smiled as he watched her sleep. Her mouth slightly open and soft, almost inaudible snore coming out.
He brushed some hair back from her face. Realizing that she finally looked at peace, pain free.
He didn't want her to, but maybe a little bit of heroin wouldn't hurt. He still got a good high off the same amount, but it wore off faster.
Which meant she would want more. But at least she wouldn't be in pain, which was his main concern.
He felt like a hypocrite, if he could do it then so should she.

He rolled out of bed and grabbed his phone. He texted Brian, telling him he needed his own stash. He sighed and looked over at Kristen, hoping he was making the right decision.

When Kristen woke up the next morning, Zacky's side of the bed was empty. She thoughthe nmight be in the shower, but she didn't hear the water running. She stretched her arms over her head, yawning, as she got out of bed. Since the guys had a show that night that meant they'd be traveling, so she decided to go ahead and get ready right now. She still felt a little sluggish as she moved around the room, but not the good, warm sluggish feeling from last night when she was high on heroin. She'd have to go talk to Brian and see if he'd be willing to part with any more. She had money, she'd even pay him for it if he wanted.

Kristen dug in her bag and pulled out an Iron Maiden shirt that she'd taken the sleeves off of and cut down the sides, a red lace bandeau, and a pair of jeans shorts. She changed clothes rather slowly and then grabbed her bag of makeup before going into the bathroom.

---

Matt had already finished two small bottles of whiskey when he heard Abigail shouting for him from the bathroom. He jumped, spilling a bit of it down his chest, and climbed out of bed. "Abigail?" he called, hurrying into the bathroom. "Abigail, what's wrong?" He immediately noticed the towel she had pressed to her face, and the remnants of white powder on the counter did not escape his attention, either. She must've snorted a line and then gotten in the shower.

"Here, sit down on the toilet," Matt said. He closed the lid and then guided Abigail to sit down, reaching for a towel to throw over her lap. He'd seen her naked many times, but he figured now was one of the times when she'd probably rather be covered. "Pinch your nose and lean your head forward, okay? That should stop the bleeding."

As Abigail did what Matt said, she felt tears welling up in her eyes. She had done line after line before and nothing like this had happened.
"I'm so sorry." She said as she began to sob uncontrollably. She felt humiliated. The one thing that gave her so much strength, had made her weak again. The thing she knew would always be there for her to pick her up, turned its back on her and let her fall.

She tried taking deep breaths, but found it hard to take a breath in. She reached for Matts arm, squeezing it.
She tried thinking about where she was, the white floor, the water hitting the bottom of the shower. Nothing was helping. Which caused her to panic more. She started to notice the floor turn from white to gray, until everything faded into black.

---

"Thanks man, see ya in a few." He said as he left Brian's room. He made his way back to the room and walked in. He noticed the bed was empty.
"Kristen?" He called out as he set the baggie on the desk. He looked around and saw the bathroom light coming out from under the door.

He lightly tapped on the door before opening it. He smiled as he walked behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist.
"I got us some." He said nuzzling his face into her neck, kissing it softly.
"I would be a hypocrite if I didn't let you do it and I do. Only a little at a time, okay?" He said, lifting his head and looked at her in the mirror.

Kristen grinned widely at Zacky's words as she applied her eyeliner. She had no idea what made Zacky change his mind, but she wasn't complaining. She wasn't really withdrawing after the small amount of heroin she'd had last night and she felt like she could go awhile without any more, but she wanted to feel that warm rush again. And she was sure it would be amazing to be high during the show.

Kristen finished with her makeup and turned to Zacky with a wicked grin on her face. "Let's do a little now, yeah?" she suggested. She moved past him and went out into the room, quickly spotting the bag of powder and needles on the desk. "So...we need a lighter and a spoon, right?" she asked, turning back to Zacky, a needle in her hand.

---

"Shit," Matt cursed. He caught Abigail as she slumped over, making sure she didn't hit her head on anything. He had no idea what to do. How much cocaine had she had? Was she overdosing? He had no idea what a cocaine overdose looked like. Besides that, he'd already been drinking and he hadn't completely slept off his bender from last night. And what if he took her to the hospital and they got arrested because she was doing coke? Or got pulled over on the way there? Matt was just flat-out panicking.

He picked Abigail up and took her back out into the room, laying here down on the bed. He leaned his head down close to her chest, listening for a heart beat and breath sounds, relief flooding his body when he heard both. So she wasn't dead. But he still didn't know what to do with her. "Abigail!" he shouted, shaking her. "Abbi, baby, wake up. Come on!"

"Uh, let's wait until we get on the bus, okay? That way we can enjoy it better." Zacky said as he followed her. He started to gather his clothes and random things, tossing them into his duffle bag. They made one last look around the room before heading out the door.
He knocked on everyone's doors, letting them know it was time to go.

When they got to Matt and Abigails, Matt threw open the door with a panicked look on his face. "I...I don't know what to do," he stuttered. Zacky's heart dropped to his stomach and walked into the room. He saw Abigail laying on the bed, not moving.
"What happened?" He asked Matt, who was chugging a bottle of booze.
He explained what happened and Zacky went straight for the fridge. He found a bottle of vodka, chugging half of it before lifting her head up. He slid the top of the bottle up her nose and plugged her other nostril with his thumb.

---

A burning smell filled Abigails nostrils, triggering her brain to wake up.
She slowly opened her eyes and saw Zacky standing there. She blinked a few times and looked around the room. She started to feel bile rise up her throat, she was able to roll over before spilling her stomach all over the floor.

She groaned before wiping her mouth with the back of her hand. She rolled back over and looked at Matt, who was staring at her with tears in his eyes. She turned her head away and sat up slowly. She kept her head down, not wanting to make eye contact with anyone. If she felt humiliated before, nothing beats this. She felt like everyone was judging her, thinking nasty things that they would never say out loud.

"Fine," Kristen grumbled. She stuffed the needles into her shoulder bag, along with the bag of powder. She grabbed her suitcase and followed Zacky as he went around to everyone's rooms, telling them it was time to go. "Holy shit," she mumbled when they got to Matt and Abigail's room and found the other girl passed out on the bed. Through Matt's mumbling she was able to gather that Abigail had passed out in the bathroom after snorting cocaine. It was a big surprise to Kristen, since she never would've thought that the other girl did drugs.

After Zacky revived Abigail, Kristen could see the shame in the other girl's eyes, and could sense that she probably didn't want them to be there anymore. She laid her hand on Zacky's forearm. "Come on, let's go," she whispered to him. She gently pulled on his arm, pulling him from the room. They headed to the bus to wait for everyone else and Kristen was so worked up from the situation from Abigail, that she forgot about the heroin in her bag until she reached in to search for her phone.

---

Matt mumbled a thanks at Zacky as Kristen pulled him out of the room. He was so relieved that Zacky was able to get her awake so easily, but he also felt stupid that he hadn't thought of doing something like that. He pulled Abigail against his chest, not caring that she was still naked and wet from the shower. "You scared the shit out of me, baby," he mumbled into her hair.

"Here, let's uh, let's get you some clothes so we can go," he said. He got up and went over to her bag, pulling out a pair of jeans and what he hoped was a day time shirt. He took them back over to Abigail and sat down on the bed. "I...I'm not gonna tell you that you have to quit the coke," he said. "But just...be careful, okay? You really scared me."

Abigail gripped onto Matts waist as he held her. She let the tears roll down her face. "I'm sorry... I think it was a mix of the coke and a panic attack. I've done that amount before and nothing bad happen." She buried her face in his neck, breathing in his scent.

She thanked Matt when he handed her some clothes. She slipped the shirt over her head and nodded at him. "Thank you babe, I will cut down on it. It scared me too. Please, don't think this is your fault." She stood up and pulled on her pants. She turned back to him and placed a kiss on his lips. "You hear me Matt. This. Is. Not. Your fault," She stood back up and found her shoes, slipping them on.

"Let's get out of here, I need a nap." She mumbled as she gathered the rest of her things.

---

Zacky nodded at Kristen and followed her out to the bus. He flopped down on the couch in the front of the bus and leaned his head back, closing his eyes.
He couldn't believe what just happened. He thought for sure they would have to call 911 if what he did didn't work. Which would throw all of them into the shit storm that would come from it.

He stood up and walked over to the cupboard above the sink, pulling down a spoon. "Come on." He said to Kristen as he made his way into the back. He dug out a cigarette from his pocket, lighting it and taking a deep drag.

He kissed Kristen when she handed him the bag. He prepared hers first, handing it to her before getting his own.
"Want me to do it again?" He asked as he took his belt off and wrapped it around her arm.

Kristen shook her head. She reached up and tightened the belt Zacky had placed around her arm. She wished he would've let her make up her own needle, because she hadn't missed the fact that he didn't make quite as much for her as he had for himself. She slapped the inside of her arm a bit before she uncapped the needle with her teeth.

It didn't sting at all this time when Kristen pierced her vein with the needle, and strangely, it almost felt better since she was doing it herself. She pushed the plunger on the needle, forcing the liquid heroin into her bloodstream, letting her head fall back as the warmth started to wash over her again. She basked in it for a few short seconds before she removed the needle from her arm and took the belt off, handing it over to Zacky with a grin.

---

Matt raised an eyebrow. Why would he think this was his fault? Sure, he hadn't known what to do when she passed out, but he hadn't had anything to do with her actually passing out. He grabbed a few more bottles from the mini-bar before grabbing both his and Abigail's bags, following her outside to the parking lot where the bus was parked.

He and Abigail were the last ones to get to the bus and when they did, everyone but Zacky and Kristen was sitting in the living room area. The door to the back of the bus was shut and he figured they were back there, probably screwing or something. "I think I'm just gonna chill up here with everybody else," Matt said to Abigail, remembering that she mentioned something about wanting a nap.

"Come on, come lay with me for a few." Abigail begged.
All she wanted was him. His arms wrapped around her, his thick chest under her head, his heart beat in her ear. He would put drinking before her so many times, she really wished that wouldn't be the case right now.
She needed to feel loved right now. She was starting to feel worthless again, but didn't dare touch coke right that second. It's not what she needed. She needed him.

She headed into the bunk area, putting her bag in the empty bunk under hers and Matts before jumping up to the bed. She pulled her phone out of her pocket before stripping off her pants and pulling the small blanket over her legs.
She unlocked her phone and started playing on it, waiting to see if Matt would come back.

---

Zacky smiled back at her, taking the needle and recapping it. He put it in the baggie before turning back to her. He kissed her gently before taking the belt, wrapping it around his own arm. He found a good vein, right on the side of his elbow. He gently slid the needle into the vein, pulling the plunger back a bit and watched as his blood mixed with the golden liquid. He finally pushed it in and undid the belt. He smirked as he felt the wave of euphoria wash over him.

He quickly capped the needle and tossed it in the bag. He looked over at Kristen and smiled. He pulled her close to his chest, wrapping his arms around her waist and lifted her up onto his lap.
"I love you." He said, placing soft kisses across her collarbone and up to her ear. Something about her skin on his lips felt amazing.

Kristen closed her eyes, letting her head fall back just slightly. She always loved when Zacky kissed her collarbone, loved the feeling of his lips on her skin, but now, when the heroin had her feeling warm and dreamlike, it felt just absolutely amazing. She turned her head just slightly so that she could kiss his lips, pulling away a short while later and whispering, "I love you too, Zack."

Kristen smiled, placing her hands on either side of Zacky's neck, touching the soft hair on the back of his neck. Looking into his emerald-colored eyes she could tell he was feeling it as much as she was and she realized how much she loved being high with him. She rested her forehead against his for a second before leaning down to kiss his lips again.

---

Matt grabbed a beer from the fridge, watching Abigail as she went back to their bunk. He didn't really want to lay down right now, he wanted to drink. And normally, that's what he'd do. He'd let Abigail lay by herself while he sat on the couch and drank. But after what had happened earlier today, he figured he at least owed it to her to lay down with her for a little while.

But not until after he'd finished this beer. Matt popped the cap off and stood near the fridge as he quickly chugged the entire bottle of beer. He desperately wanted another one, but he ignored his urge and instead went back to climb into the bunk with Abigail. "I'll lay here with you until you fall asleep, okay?" he whispered to her, running his hand over her bare thigh.

Abigail smiled as she laid her head on his chest. She snuggled up close to him, feeling like she needed to be as close to him as possible. She started to draw random shapes on his shirt with her finger.
She felt tears building up in her eyes. She lifted her head slightly to look at Matt. "Tell me you love me." She said, her voice cracking. She was feeling childish, but she needed the reassurance.

She still never understood why he stuck around, especially after all of this. She didn't feel like anything special. She was just the girl nextdoor that somehow caught his eye.

---

Zacky gripped onto Kristen's hips tighter as she kissed him. It was bringing a new sensation that he had never felt before. His whole body was tingling and he felt like he was floating. His fingers felt numb but electric. His member was twitching in his jeans.

He couldn't help himself as he picked her up, wrapping her legs around his waist. He turned around and laid her down on the couch. He continued to kiss her as he ran his hands up her shirt, cupping her bra covered breast. He broke the kiss and kissed down her neck, stopping at her collarbone where he started to nip and suck.

Kristen let out a soft noise of approval as Zacky kissed her collarbone. It always drove her crazy for some reason, more so than having her neck kissed. Zacky's lips and touch were only exasperating the effects of the heroin and Kristen felt like she was floating. She reached up and ran her hands through his soft hair, loving the way it felt between her fingers.

"Don't you dare mess up my makeup, Zack Baker," Kristen warned teasingly, just in case he decided he wanted to take her shirt off. With her free hand, she reached down between their bodies, fiddling with Zacky's jeans in an attempt to get the button undone. It was harder than it seemed one-handed, but after a minute or so if working at it, Kristen was finally able to get the button undone. She did his zipper next and then slipped her hand inside.

---

Matt smiled. "I love you, Abigail," he whispered. He reached out, tucking a strand of her hair behind her ear. "I love you so much, no matter what you do or what happens. And I'll always love you." He craned his neck up a bit, kissing her lips softly. He knew she was still probably feeling a little embarrassed after this morning, but he wouldn't judge her. After all, how many times had she taken care of him when he was drunk, passed out in his own vomit? Too many times to count.

"Go to sleep, okay?" Matt soothed her, playing with the ends of her hair. "I'll lay here with you until you do." When she'd laid back down, Matt wrapped an arm around her slender waist, resting his hand on her lower back. He was half-tempted to go to sleep himself, but he was craving more alcohol. And drinking was more appealing than sleepy.

Abigail nodded at Matt, feeling a little better after Matt told her those things.
She snuggled into his chest, slowly letting her mind shit off before falling into a deep sleep.

---

"Or what?" He said looking at her with a smirk.

Zacky let out a moan when she slipped her hand into his pants, grabbing him. He caught her lips into another passionate kiss as he reached around her back and unclasped her bra. He pushed it up and out of the way. He broke the kiss and took one of her nipples in her mouth, running swirling his tongue over it.
He reached down and unbuttoned her shorts, pushing them down her legs.

Kristen smirked back. "Or I'm going to get up right now and leave you back here to deal with your problem on your own," she replied. She stroked Zacky a few times as he undressed her, letting out a soft moan when she felt his lips on her chest. Zacky's touch always set her on fire, but now that she was high, the effect felt tenfold. She pulled her hand from his pants and pushed them down his legs, doing the same with his boxers.

"Where are your condoms?" Kristen asked, breathing the words into Zacky's ear. She always insisted on having Zacky wear one, because she didn't want to get pregnant until the problem with her cysts went away. And now that she was doing heroin, she had another reason not to get pregnant.

---

When he was sure Abigail was asleep, Matt carefully climbed out of the bunk and went back to the living room area, grabbing a beer from the fridge on his way there. He took a seat between Brian, who was looking strung out, and Jimmy, who was shooting him daggers, obviously because of the beer in his hand. Matt rolled his eyes. "Chill the fuck out, man," he said to the drummer. "I know we've got a show, I'm not gonna get drunk. You should be worrying about Brian, we're probably gonna have to hook him up if we want him to play the show tonight."

"Good fucking luck with that, I'm clean out," Brian grumbled. "I gave my last bit to Zacky for Kristen. We might have accidentally gotten her hooked on the shit, too."

(She's still sleeping.)

"Accidentally? How do you accidentally get someone hooked?" Jimmy shouted. "Jesus christ!" He said, slamming his fist down on the table.
"Yes?" Johnny said, looking at Jimmy with a smirk.

---

"Shit... " He mumbled. He pulled out his wallet and opened it. Nothing.
"Hold on..." He mumbled, pulling his pants up and quietly opened the door, he heard voices from the front of the bus. He quietly walked to his bunk and found his bag. He threw everything out and grabbed the box.

"Uh.. we have a problem," he said after he kicked his pants off. He was limp. "Fucking drugs."

Kristen sat up on the couch, running her hands through her hair. She quickly pulled her clothes back on before going over to Zacky. "It's okay," she said, laying a hand on his chest. She was a little disappointed that they couldn't have sex, but she understood that sometimes things happened. "We can always do it next time."

Kristen patted his chest. "Come on, why don't we go see what everybody else was doing?" she suggested. "I'm sure they're wondering where we disappeared to." She leaned up and kissed his lips before moving away. She grabbed the bag of heroin, along with the spoon, lighters, and needles, and stuck it in her shoulder bag. She really needed to get a little case for all of this like Brian had.

---

Jimmy just glared at Johnny, who shrunk back against the chair he was sitting in. "Why the fuck did you give her any, anyways?" he asked Brian. "Seriously, it's bad enough dealing with you and sometimes Zack while you're high on that shit, but now Kristen? And are the three of you just gonna share your stash? This just feels like a giant clusterfuck to me."

"I'll just give her the number of my guy, it's not that big of a deal, holy shit," Brian shouted. "And none of you can fucking talk, because you're all on something, too. You and Johnny pop pills like they're candy and Matt drinks alcohol like it's water. So fuck off."

"Yeah, but none of those are as addictive as heroin!" Jimmy shouted. "It's the most addictive drug in the world Brian, seriously."

Abigail woke up to people shouting. She tried going back to sleep but they wouldn't stop yelling.
She let out a frustrated groan as she sat up, grabbing her pants and slipping them back on.
She flung open the curtian and noticed Kristen and Zacky walking up from the back.
"What's going on?" She asked them. The both looked confused and shrugged. She jumped down in front of them and walked up front.

Abigail stayed silent for awhile before she couldn't help it.
"So fucking what Jim? Brian is right, none of us have room to talk. We all have our flaws. But we are a family."

---

"But it's not... I'm sorry." He was pissed that this happened.
He nodded and followed her up front, catching bits and pieces of an argument going on. His ears perked up when he heard his name, and Kristen's too.
He grabbed her arm and pulled her back. He placed his finger on his lips and listened to what they were saying.

"Baby, it really is okay," Kristen assured him. He seemed a little angry about it, but it really didn't bother her all that much. She headed towards the front, stopping when Zacky pulled on her arm. She could everyone else's voices at the front and it sounded like they were talking about her and Zacky. Her eyes widened when she heard them mention the heroin. How did they know already?

"Seriously, you guys know it's rude to talk about people when they're not there, right?" Kristen asked, shrugging Zacky away and going out to the front. "And Abigail's right. None of you can talk shit until you kick yours. And we all know that's not happening any time soon."

---

Matt looked up when Abigail, Zacky, and Kristen walked in. The shouting must have woken Abigail up and Kristen and Zacky must've finished whatever the hell they were doing back there. Probably shooting up, if he went by Brian's testimony. It didn't surprise him that Kristen was using now, since Zacky did and they were practically glued to each other's sides.

"Come sit down next to me, Abbi," Matt said, beckoning her over with his hand. When she sat next to him, he wrapped an arm around her shoulders, bringing his beer bottle up to his lips. He wanted something stronger, but with Jimmy as pissy as he was right now, he didn't dare. Matt leaned over and kissed Abigail's temple. "Did you get a decent nap in?"

Abigail huffed as she flopped down to Matt, leaning against him.
"Yeah, like 45 minutes. Fucking stupid." She said grabbing his beer and finishing it off.
She got up and made herself a strong jack and coke. She grabbed him another beer and sat back down next to him, pulling his arm back around her shoulders. She finished half of her drink in one gulp.
"I don't think I can handle 5 more hours of this shit." She mumbled watching everyone bicker at eachother.

---

"That's really low guys, even for you Jim." Zacky said before walking to the back room again. How could the people he called his friends say things like that behind his back. They probably meant well. But why was it that big of a deal? Everyone did something and no one else says anything. He was just trying to help his girlfriend, the one he loves.

He laid his head back and let out a sigh, just wishing the show could be over so he could get messed up and forget about all of this.

At the venue, the guys all headed off to get their things ready for the show. Jimmy was chattering on about their fog machine, which apparently was a big deal. "I'm gonna go to the bathroom," Kristen said to Abigail. She clutched her shoulder bag close to her chest as she made her way to the venue bathroom. There were a couple of girls inside checking their appearance in the mirror, and Kristen couldn't help but grin when she saw that they were wearing A7X shirts.

Kristen ducked into a stall and opened her bag, pulling out the heroin and supplies. She didn't have a belt, so she substituted the rubber band she had around her wrist. Since she was making her own, Kristen made herself nearly three fourths of a syringe. She slapped the inside of her arm and then uncapped the needle with her teeth, lining it up with her vein. She pushed the liquid heroin into her vein and let her head fall back, sighing happily as the warmth rushed through her.

---

"See you later, baby," Matt mumbled, giving Abigail a kiss. He followed the rest of the guys back to where they needed to go to start getting ready for the show. Jimmy was saying something about the fog machine and Brian was just mumbling to himself. He was obviously coming down from a high and Matt hoped he'd be able to play without having more heroin.

"So...what was Abigail talking about earlier, when she said we all have flaws?" Johnny asked softly, leaning close to Matt. "I mean, I know what she meant, but what's hers? She doesn't do anything, does she?"

Matt made a face. He wasn't sure if Abigail wanted Johnny to know that she did cocaine. "Maybe you should ask her, not me."