Confess on My Wayward Son

I'm tired of arguing with you all the time, especially considering we live together and it's not like either you or I can just walk out and distance ourselves from each other long enough to recover from shit so talk to me please, I miss you so fucking much

and I'm tired of you just forgetting about my existence when I need you when I've always dropped everything for you

Going to the pier where One Direction filmed You and I tomorrow and I'm excited.

The fact that I love him is weighing on me hard. In the end we treated one another like absolute garbage. We're both at fault. I still want to rectify everything, but I'm terrified of my own anger toward him. I know we'd both end up getting angry and saying horrible things to one another. We clashed too much.

All I can do now is try to better myself.

I'm finding it hard to stay awake right now. I've been feeling extremely tired lately.

Fuck who you know. Don't try to threaten me old man.
I play this game far better than you do.

Sometimes it just hits me how out of place I feel and...I just don't know what to do. I feel like I should be past this, but it's just getting worse.

I'm going on 32 hours of being awake and I really wish you were awake right now. if not just to help me sleep or talk to me or just look at me because I fucking miss you so much and you live in the same space as me. what a chant that is too. Middle of the night and I just keep saying how much I miss you like it's going to bring you to me. I really wish it fucking would, S. maybe then you would tell me what the fuck I'm doing wrong so I can fix it

This is worse than I initially thought ... guess it's time to go for another visit to the doctor's ... maybe they can give me some answers.

I sometimes wonder what things would have been like if we were still together? Would we have met each other by this point? Would we have moved in? Although we lived countries apart and met online, and yes, I was like, what? 16/17...? Maybe? Although you did treat me kinda shitty, some part of me still wonders. It's more curiosity, though, because I know for a fact I'd never take you back. Just the mind wanders.

I just don't think he loves me anymore and that's whats killing me the most.

*Rewatches SoA* ORTIZZZZ

*remembers why everyone hated him*

....dammit!

This
weight
is
just
not
budging

You're really taking up my head and you don't even know it.

My vacation is pretty much confirmed for August and I'm so excited because I've never been on a vacation or to the beach before. I'm looking forward to just having a good time with my roommate.

I'm 90% sure that I gave myself laryngitis from all the crying I've done.

I can't fucking do this anymore. I gave you a fucking out months ago so why in God's name do you keep fucking doing this to me? I can't anymore. and the saddest part about all of this is that I think I'm lying to myself. Because I'm always going to drop everything for you. how shitty is that? You make me hate myself haa

I haven't felt this self-destructive in a long time.

My heart jumps when he textes me, but when I think of him... I feel like I can't breathe. pls help me, which one?

I want to crossplay what's probably too many characters to be healthy. can i just be dick grayson?

@ the optimist.
I think it was more the fact that I've got a degree in music that partially involves a keen sense of hearing that was scaring me. I've since went and they've told me that it's a really bad infection / build-up and hopefully it should clear. I've got another appointment in just under 2 weeks, so I'll know more then.

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All this tension at work is gonna bubble over and I can see us all hating one another before the end of the week. Wasn't happening until a certain somebody was promoted into the team, jussayin'