Confess on My Wayward Son

I feel like trying to find an apartment is going to be downright impossible. Ridiculous.

I deleted all my pictures because I just don't feel pretty. I just don't feel good in general. I feel so sad, and I'm just trying to get this new job. Fingers crossed.

WHEN YOU RUN INTO THE MEMBERS OF THE MAINE AT A CLUB BUT WERE TOO CHICKEN TO SAY HI SO ALL YOU CAN DO IS JUST DANCE RIGHT NEXT TO THEM

Ok no but really though, it got my mind off of everything, even though it came flooding back afterwards, which was nice at the moment.

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Going to my friend's dorm, where he used to be a tutor when he was an undergrad, and even just like driving by Southern Ave (where he lives) just keep flooding my brain with images of his face. Like, this is starting to get annoying. Is it gonna get any easier??????

I never realized how much underwear and socks I actually had until I dumped my large tote with all my underwear/socks out on the floor so I could get more organized. and all i can say is holy shit wtf lmfao

I'm so tired. I can't believe how many hours I actually put in this week. Extra money, goes towards my travels...

But really, I'm really sleepy. I'm fighting sleep - I shouldn't be, but I am.

I think what helps is realizing that the person I imagine my ~soulmate~ to be is brown and Muslim and sweet and kind and intelligent and funny and yadiyada. So, maybe that person is out there.

"You seemed happier before they put you on this project at work."
And if that isn't the truest shit my boyfriend has ever said to me...
It's true though. I hate my manager and all her unreasonable requests for this project. And honestly, her in general--it doesn't feel like I'm her employee, but rather her personal slave.
I was so much happier getting to walk around town, sorting the mail, and getting to drive and just chill for like two hours. But instead I'm stuck here at my desk, waiting for the minutes to pass by and drowning out everyone else with Rooster Teeth as best I can.
I hate that it's my fault that I'm unable to try looking for a new job at the moment either...I gotta stop smoking with James, and I'm always afraid that what I might leave this job for won't pay me as much (even though I don't make much in the first place).
I hate that fear and circumstance always get the best of me.

driving around with pandora on blast makes me happy.

My family. :c Threw me into one of the worst things ever last night. Major relapse. My friends rescued me.
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I'm writing my apa manuscript to the skyward sword ost and it's lit.

I am two seconds away from breaking down. You think everything is a joke and it's not. Stop.

It's been exactly 2 weeks and for some reason, I'm feeling a lot better. Mondays are usually hard since I have nothing to do for most of the day, but for some reason, I watched Criminal Minds and got a lot of energy to write something (and more) and I haven't really thought about you. Is this progress or just temporary? Either way, I'll bask in it.

I did that annoying thing where I try to fall asleep and instead, for whatever fucking reason, I just cry. I think I got it all out of my system, but this happens too much. I'm sick of hurting.

I've finally moved out to somewhere where I actually get internet connection. Heck yeah I'm back!

I just don't feel wanted.

floral and fading.:

I just don't feel wanted.

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Burning the candle at both ends, and what do I get for it?
It's so hard when it feels like your happiest days are behind you.

had an hour of sleep only to wake up with the news that my last great grandparent died
fuck sakes

@ The God of Thunder.
skyward sword has one of the most beautiful video game soundtracks

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I admit, for a second there, you annoyed me. Just a bit.

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One part of me is excited at the thought of getting married to him and is anxious to do it already, the other part of me is hesitant and still looks at marriage with disdain. I don't know.

The only reason I didnt drive over there and kick your ass is because if I'm going to be a nurse I need a clean criminal record. Who gave you the fucking right after nearly 10 years of never talking to your father? Who gave you the fucking right??