Too Good to Be True

Matt almost frowned when Charlie pushed him but then she spoke, slipping off the counter. When she fell to her knees, Matt immediately reached down to tangle his fingers in her hair. "That's perfectly fine, darling," Matt responded, smirking. He let out a quiet hiss when he felt Charlie's hand on him, biting back a groan when he felt her tongue. He couldn't remember the last time Charlie had gone down on him, which was a shame, because she was damn good. He tightened his grip on her hair, moving his hips forward a bit. "Charlie, you are too fucking good to me," he said softly. He looked down, meeting her gaze, and he smirked.

Matt was perfectly content to let Charlie do what she wanted, because after three and a half years, she knew what he liked. He closed his eyes, biting his lip as he tilted his head back slightly. Everything Charlie was doing just felt absolutely incredible and that's why Matt honestly wanted to punch something when he heard the doorbell ring. "Goddammit," he cursed. "Just a minute!" he called out. And to Charlie he added, "Keep going, Charlie. I'm almost there." He'd come this far - he wouldn't be able to handle it if Charlie stopped now.

Charlie was focused on one thing only. She wanted to finish this so she could forget about it. Every so often, she'd chance a glance up to Matt's features. He was enjoying this, he was satisfied which meant she was safe. After so many years, she knew Matt well enough to know that he was getting close. Only for the sound of the doorbell to interrupt her. Charlie began to pull away, relieved to say the least. The food was here and she hoped it would be enough to distract him. She looked up to him, opening her mouth to argue. They couldn't keep the delivery person waiting. But the look that Matt gave her was enough to silence her argument. She refocused her attention on him, letting her eyes slip shut. It was only a few moments longer before Matt started to cum. She'd wanted to jerk away but stilled herself, swallowing around his length.

Charlie was quiet as she reached for her bra, quickly pulling that back on followed by her shirt. When Matt left to grab the pizza, Charlie made her way to the bathroom, intent on brushing her teeth. She drew in a shakey breathe as she exited the bathroom, eyes on the floor as she made her way back toward the kitchen.

Matt groaned as he came, only halfway trying to keep himself quiet. As Charlie moved away, Matt tucked himself back into his shorts, going into the living room to grab his wallet from the coffee table to grab his wallet before going to the door. He paid the delivery person and carried the pizza into the kitchen just as Charlie was coming downstairs. Matt stared at her as he sat the pizza down on the breakfast table. The way she kept her eyes on the floor almost made Matt think she was ashamed of what had just happened. But it wasn't like that was the first time they'd done that. And they'd certainly done it in more daring places than in the privacy of their kitchen.

"Is something wrong, Charlie darling?" Matt asked, trying to keep the strain from his voice. He went over to grab paper plates from the cabinet, turning back to look at Charlie when he had them in his hands. "You know, if you didn't want to do all that, all you had to do was say so. I wouldn't have forced you. So if that's what your problem is, then stop. You could've said no. Now come on over here and sit down at the table. Let's eat and then we can decide what we want to do with the rest of our day."

Charlie lingered by the doorway, only for her eyes to shoot up to him at the question. She swallowed around the lump that had suddenly appeared in her throat. "No, nothing," she answered, her voice quiet. Drawing in a deep breathe at his words, Charlie reluctantly moved forward. She grabbed her still half-full glass of water and took a seat at the table. Her appetite had been diminished but she also had a feeling that if she didn't at least try to eat something, Matt would be annoyed. He was already on edge, she knew him too well to miss that.

"I didn't want you thinking I didn't care about you," Charlie mumbled the words, reaching for a slice from her half of the pizza. Meatballs and extra cheese. She still kept her eyes directed downward as she took her first bite, swallowing before she spoke again. "So I couldn't say no, could I?" It was meant as a rhetorical question more than anything. She reached for her glass, knowing if she sipped at the water after every bite she would feel more full after a single slice and she could pass it off as being full. Her stomach was already cramping, from lack of food the day before, one slice was enough for her.

"Yeah, you fucking could have," Matt hissed, finally letting some of his frustration show. He was trying to be nice to Charlie, to fall back to how things used to be before Charlie found out what he did, but she was making it so difficult. It seemed like she didn't appreciate his efforts at all. "I'm not that much of an asshole, I would've taken care of my Goddamn problem myself. And while I'm glad that you decided to help me out, because God knows I prefer any part of you over my hand, I'm not going to force you to do shit you don't want to do. So don't try and make this my fault. Now Charlie, don't you want the rest of this day to be nice and peaceful? Or would you rather piss me off and have us argue?"

Finishing off his piece of pizza, Matt reached over and grabbed himself another slice. He noticed that Charlie had barely finished half of her piece, and he added a second piece of pizza to her plate as well. "Don't waste the pizza," he said flatly. "I paid for it, you're going to eat it." Matt didn't know if Charlie was that hungry, and frankly he didn't care. Ever since Charlie had walked in on them the other night, he noticed that he got irritated much more quickly and she'd pissed him off. And it was a shame, because he was looking forward to using his day off to lay around with Charlie and just relax.

Charlie's face fell as he snapped at her. She had been in a pretty neutral mood, despite the uncomfortable air that she couldn't quite shake. She took the smallest bite of her slice so she could have an excuse to think, staring at the slice in her hands. It seemed like it was never ending - despite how much she felt she had eaten, very little was gone. "That's... Not what I meant. I'm sorry," she murmured, reaching for her glass of water. Sip, bite, chew, swallow. Rinse and repeat.

Tensing as Matt set another slice on her plate, Charlie shook her head. She was fearful of Matt's temper at this point but she was barely able to finish off her first slice. "I won't waste it. I'm just... I'm not that hungry right now," she said, trying to reason with him. "I can always heat it up later."

Charlie took another sip of water before chancing a look at him. "What did you want to do today anyway?" She asked, hoping to distract him from both the pizza and the previous discussion.

"If you weren't that hungry, then why did you tell me to order food?" Matt asked. With a scowl at Charlie, he reached over to grab the extra slice of pizza off of her plate. He tossed it back into the box. "I'd better not see of this shit in the trash, I swear to fucking God, Charlie." He quickly finished off his second piece and then stood up. "Well right now I'm going to go take a shower, since you pissed me off and I need to calm down," Matt said, answering Charlie's question. "And after I get out, then we can decide what to do. And while I'm in the shower, I want you to put the pizza in the fridge then I've got a shirt that needs to be washed. Just make sure to use seltzer and lemon on the bloodstains." Matt normally did his work laundry himself, when Charlie was at work. But since she knew now, he saw no reason why she couldn't do it. She already did the rest of his laundry.

Matt stomped upstairs, grabbing a fresh pair of boxers and sweatpants before going into the bathroom. He left the door slightly ajar, just in case Charlie needed in there for some reason. He turned on the water, now wishing he hadn't wasted so much of the warm water for Charlie's bath earlier. He knew he shouldn't get so pissed or irritated with her so easily just because she knew, but he couldn't help it. Charlie knowing meant Matt didn't have to keep his work and his personal life separate, and the two were now starting to blend together. And Matt's darker side, the monster Charlie claimed that he was, was much stronger than the side he preferred to show around Charlie.

"I just...I was," Charlie spoke, wincing at the way her words came out. She didn't particularly mean that going down on Matt had killed her appetite but she knew he'd probably read between the lines a little too much. "I just didn't get to eat much yesterday and my-" her words were cut off by Matt speaking up again. At the mention of laundry, Charlie had been fine but when she realized he meant that laundry, her eyes widened. Looking up to him, to argue against doing it, her words were silenced when she made eye contact with Matt. She had buried a body, this couldn't be much worse. After Matt headed upstairs, Charlie put the pizza away and went about cleaning the shirt with bloodstains.

Once she was confident that it was soaked into the stain, Charlie put it into the washer. Heading back to the kitchen, Charlie made herself a glass of warmed apple cider. It had always been a way to calm her down. With the mug in hand, she stepped out on the back deck where she sat on one of the lounge chairs. Her breath grew ragged as she sat down, tucking her legs under her chin. She bit into her lip to try to distract herself but soon, tears were falling. Letting herself cry, Charlie only tensed at the sound of movement within the house. She hiccuped, forcing the crying to end as she wiped at her eyes. No need for Matt to know she had been upset, if it would only further anger him.

Once Matt had finished showering, he went downstairs to look for Charlie. He could hear the washer running, which meant that she'd already started on the laundry. He checked the living room and the kitchen before finally spotting her out on the back deck. He slipped out there with her, immediately noticing that she had been crying. He felt a strange, almost frightening mixture of irritation and guilt. It was only frightening because deep down he knew shouldn't be feeling irritated. His girlfriend had been crying and he knew it was his fault, the only thing he should be feeling is guilty. He sat down on the deck next to the lounge chair she was sitting in. "What are you doing out here?" he asked. "It's a little chilly to be sitting outside, don't you think?"

Matt stood up and offered his hand to Charlie. "Come on, let's go inside," he suggested firmly. He took her hand and pulled her into the living room, settling her on the couch before he grabbed a blanket. He handed this to her. "I was thinking about grilling tonight, do you want burgers or steaks?" Matt asked, sitting next to her. Might as well try and be nice, since his irritation was wanting for the time being. "If I do steaks, you'll have to do the asparagus and if I do burgers, you'll have to do the fries. But it's up to you, since you didn't really eat lunch."

Hearing the sliding door open, Charlie bit down on her bottom lip as a sudden wave of sadness over took her. It wouldn't do to any good to try and hide that she had been crying if she just started all over again. She held up the mug that was in her hands, as if to show that it wasn't that chilly. The goosebumps that littered her skin told other. "Just thinking," she murmured finally, her chest tightening. Thinking was all she had done over the past few days, she hated it. Taking his head, Charlie followed him inside without much complaint. She smiled the slightest bit, wrapping the offered blanket around her shoulders. Relaxing back against the couch, Charlie held her cider, sipping at it slowly.

"Steak sounds good," she commented quietly. "But burgers are fine, too. Whatever you want." Her heart was racing being so close to Matt. The twinge of guilt that spawned through her chest told her all she needed to. That it wasn't for all the right reasons - instead for the ones that made her blood run cold. Matt was her long time boyfriend though, she shouldn't feel like this when it came to him. "I'm sorry about earlier. I didn't mean to upset you," she spoke softly. She winced as she leaned forward to set her mug down, realizing how stupid she sounded. In her mind, there wasn't a thing to apologize for but she had upset him. When you upset your significant other, you apologize as long as you're not a complete asshole.

"No, I want you to choose," Matt said. He reached for the remote, turning the TV on and flipping listlessly through the channels. He sighed when Charlie spoke again, hearing her soft spoken apology. "It's okay," Matt replied. He knew he should be telling her that she didn't need to apologize, that it was his fault for letting his temper get so out of control. Especially after she'd gone down on him when she obviously hasn't wanted to. But he couldn't bring himself to do it. It brought him a sick sort of satisfaction to hear Charlie apologize when there was absolutely nothing for her to apologize for. He settled on a rerun that he and Charlie had probably seen a million times and scooted closer to her, laying his arm over her shoulder.

"I don't want you to feel uncomfortable around me, Charlie," Matt said softly, rubbing her arm. "I know things have changed a little, but that doesn't mean they have to change completely. We can still act like we did before you found out. You remember that, don't you? How we used to just lay on the couch until early in the morning, watching infomercials because we were too comfortable cuddling with each other to change the channel? And I want things to stay like that. You just have to learn how to separate my work from our life, just like I do. And try not to piss me off."

Charlie was only half paying attention to the television, chewing on her bottom lip. When Matt wrapped an arm around her, she pressed herself into his side without even thinking about it. She squirmed for a moment before settling down once she decided the was comfortable. Her mind had started to drift to other thoughts, only to be brought back by Matt speaking. Her shoulders tensed, bracing herself for what she knew was coming. Charlie rubbed her one arm, eyes focused on the corner of the television so she didn't actually have to look at him. "I'm just... you scare me," she admitted, heart ready to burst out of her chest. She drew in a deep breathe, closing her eyes as she felt a sob bubble up in her chest. Pressing a hand to her face, Charlie was silent as she fought against the emotion building up inside of her. "Of course I do, Matt. I just... every time I say something you don't like, it makes you mad. And I'm scared of what you'll do next when that happens." Charlie tucked her chin under the edge of her shirt, fighting against the urge to pull away from him.

"I just... I don't know what to say. It's just a lot to take in," Charlie spoke again, wringing her fingers together beneath the blanket. Her entire body was tense, anticipating his reaction.

"Well I'm going to try and keep my temper in check a little better," Matt said, although he was already doubting how well he'd be able to keep that promise. He was already starting to feel like he was losing touch with his softer side, and it had only been barely two days since Charlie had walked in on something she really shouldn't have. He tightened his grip on Charlie's shoulders, not missing the tension in her body. "I know it's a lot," Matt said. "And I'm sorry to say that there's probably quite a bit more that you haven't seen. But eventually you'll become numb to everything, just like I did. And maybe once you do, it'll be easier for us to be the same as we used to be at home."

Matt pushed up the sleeve of Charlie's shirt, using his fingers to rub small circles into her skin. "I can tell you're upset," he said next, his voice rather level. "You don't have to hide your tears from me, Charlie. You can cry if you want to, it wouldn't be the first time I held you while you did. And I know that's what you were doing outside on the deck. I'm not going to get mad at you for crying, because like you said, this is a lot for you to take in. You're scared, and crying is an acceptable reaction."

Charlie nodded, her head resting on his shoulder. She swallowed the lump that had formed in her throat, shrugging her shoulders. "If I haven't tried something stupid yet, do I really need to come with you every time you have a..." She trailed off, struggling to find the right words to describe what Matt would ultimately do whenever he was 'working'. "A job? I mean... I just. I think it would be better if I didn't because that's when we get upset with each other," she tried to explain, hoping he may see things from her side.

She sighed as she shifted again, so that she could set an arm on his stomach. Charlie closed her eyes, focusing on her breathing for a few moments before she reopened them. "I don't want to cry anymore. I've done enough of it over the past few days," she mumbled, running a hand through her hair. And she was right - she had had at least one major crying episode a day since she walked in the other night.

Matt shook his head. "If you keep running away, you're never going to get used to it," he said. In reality, he was really just to paranoid to leave Charlie alone while he went out to work, because it oftentimes took hours and there was no telling what she might do during that time. "So you'll just have to come with me. And if you'd just do what I say, then I wouldn't get upset with you. When I'm working I'm used to my orders being followed without question, and now that includes you." When Charlie moved, resting her arm on his stomach, Matt leaned over and pressed a kiss to the top of her head. He could tell that she still didn't seem to want to be close to him, but by this point they were both so used to this that it was almost a force of habit.

"If you don't want to cry anymore, that's fine," Matt said, his voice soft. "I just want you to know that if you need to, you can. While we're here at home like this, I'm still the same Matt that I was before." He rested one hand on Charlie's hip, reaching over with the other to grip her chin. He nudged it up so she was looking at him and then he leaned in to give her a gentle kiss. He wondered if this was confusing for her, how he switched between affectionate and angry so quickly and so easily. If he were in her place he would surely be confused, but Charlie was smarter than he was. Even Matt would admit that.

"You've asked me to hurt someone, Matt. That's not something that I will ever be able to get used to," she mumbled into his skin, not really wanting him to hear what she said. Charlie let out a small noise of approval when he kissed the top of her head, leaning up to sneak a kiss to his neck in return. Settling back into place, Charlie listened carefully to his words. Whatever reply that she had considered was gone when he tilted her head up. Charlie smiled the smallest bit, welcoming the kiss. This was her Matt, the one that she loved and who would protect her from anything. The one that she didn't need to be afraid of.

"Who knows. Maybe you'll even stop, or at least, pull back from everything." It was a stupid hope but it was still there. If Charlie could just convince Matt to pull away from everything, then there wouldn't be a reason to argue or for them to worry.

"I doubt that, Charlie," Matt said. He sighed. He didn't want Charlie to think that there was a possibility of him walking away from the work that he did, because there wasn't. "If I quit Charlie...they'll catch me. And then I'll be sent to jail and probably killed." Of course, Matt would never tell her that he almost liked what he and the guys did. He enjoyed knowing that he was able to exude that sort of power over people, that he was the one who decided if they would live or die. He enjoyed playing God. He just felt like it would be much easier to bring Charlie into this, to help numb her to the horrible things that it involved. But for Matt, that hadn't happened until the first time he pulled the trigger on someone and watched the life fade from their eyes.

"Let me know when you get hungry and I'll start on the steaks, okay?" Matt whispered to Charlie. He kissed her again. "But until then why don't we go sit in the hot tub or something? You could make yourself a drink. I think that would be more fun than sitting in here on the couch." Matt wanted to draw Charlie away from the subject of his work, because he knew if they kept talking about it, they would eventually come up on a subject that made him angry. "So what do you say?"

Charlie was silent when he spoke up, not really wanting to comment. She was still stupidly hopeful that they could someone get away from the lifestyle that Matt led. Even if it took time. Perking up at the mention of the hot tub, she nodded and moved to her feet. "Do you want a beer or anything?" She asked, dropping the blanket from her shoulders onto the couch. After Matt answered, she headed upstairs to get changed into her bathing suit.

Reappearing downstairs, Charlie grabbed herself a glass of tea and whatever he had wanted. She headed outside to the hot tub where she turned it on, sitting on the edge as she waited for it to heat up. When Matt came outside, she offered him a small smile. "Here," she murmured, holding out his drink to him. "I have a week off of school coming up next month, we should go somewhere to get away from everything."

"I'd love a beer," Matt said, grinning. He followed Charlie upstairs, changing into his swim trunks and grabbing a couple of towels. He went downstairs to the back deck, taking the beer Charlie handed to him. "Thanks, darling," he said. He used the top of one of the lounge chairs to pop the top off of the beer bottle before going over to Charlie, wrapping an arm around her shoulders as he took a sip. "You look incredible in that bathing suit," he whispered, pressing a kiss to her temple. "Absolutely stunning. I'm so lucky." He kissed her temple again before sticking his hand into the hot tub, testing the temperature. "I think the water's warm enough for you to get in. And I laid a couple of towels over on the deck chair for when you're ready to get out."

Matt climbed into the hot tub as he listened to Charlie talk about having a week off school. The idea of a vacation, even a short one, did sound appealing. And he'd have to completely step away from work, which he knew Charlie would like. "Wherever you want to go darling, is fine with me," Matt said, grinning. When Charlie joined him in the tub, he slid over close to her, sliding his arm around her waist. "Because as long as I have you all to myself for a week, I'll be perfectly happy. But maybe we could go somewhere warm? So I can see you in this bathing suit again," Matt added, chuckling.

There was no hiding the blush that crept onto her cheeks from the compliment. Charlie pressed her face into his side in an attempt to. "Stop," she mumbled, before leaning away from him, a grin on her face. "I'm lucky to have you because have you seen those abs?" She said, reaching out to poke his stomach. Charlie turned toward the tub and dipped her feet in, before slowly sinking into the water. She let out a groan of relief, the heat enough to relax her despite the tension that was still on her mind.

Charlie leaned her head against his shoulder, biting back a hiss as she dipped her wrists below the water. Humming, Charlie was quiet as she thought of different places they could go. Somewhere where they could explore and learn about historic times or somewhere a bit more relaxing where the worst thing they had to do was brush their teeth at night. She had never been on a huge vacation, only small ones here or there because Matt always said he couldn't stay gone from work that long. It hadn't bothered her much at the time but now that she was considering a real vacation, she was hesitant to even suggest a destination. She didn't know if it was appropriate to pick something more expensive or not, she certainly didn't want to feel like she owed him anything nor did she want him thinking she was taking advantage. "Warm sounds good. I don't know where though..." she trailed off, glancing up to him with a skeptical look. "Do you think just to the beach or what are you thinking?"