Never Letting Go

She shrugged,"I don't know I guess, I realized that I'm growing up and while I do still care about Hyungwon... I have to move on so I'm actively trying and not becoming a work-a-holic like my mother," she said to him nodding a bit then sighed, "I have someone I want to ask but I'm super nervous cause... rejection is the bane of my existence," she said to him whining a little. "Either way I won't be bummed if I get asked out by someone before then, dating doesn't have to be serious right away - so I'm going to play the field a little,"

He nodded a little and sighed, "Fine, but if we go to some weird place don't judge me," he said to her.

"Depends on what you mean by weird, but okay. As long as you don't take me someplace that might scar me for life, I think I'll be okay." She smiled a little and wrapped her arms around his shoulders. "Hm... or maybe instead would you be okay if we ordered food and dressed up for dinner here?" She asked curiously.

---

He nodded a little. "Who do you want to ask?" He pressed, raising his eyebrows as he looked at her. He was curious, he wanted to know if it was him. He'd thought about it for a while but he was scared of how she would take it.

She chewed on her bottom lip then shrugged, "Taeyong from Chemistry 101," she said to him coming up with a name on the spot not wanting to out herself just yet.

He sighed,"You mean that leather and chaps nude restaurant is out of the question?" he whined pouting.

She smiled a little. "I mean, I do have a leather dress I could wear, but I'm not sure I'm in the mood for strange dick in my face tonight," She said, making a face. "So...no. Please. No."

---

He sighed a little. "Well... If you think he's cute. If you wouldn't be totally disgusted, I could take you out but I feel like I might not be your type anymore." He said, leaning back in his seat.

Her heart stopped and she turned to look at him furrowing her brow a little, "Whats that supposed to mean?" she asked as she looked at him - had he actually known she was in love with him? If he'd known the whole time she was going to actually end up in prison for murder.

He whined, "Damn, fine - I'll figure something out," he said to her smiling a little as he wet his lips.

He shrugged. "Well, you did like me for several years... I don't know if you still do but if you do, maybe we can give dating a shot." He murmured.

---

She smiled a little and stretched. "Kinda hungry now though, and a little bored. Want to do anything?"

"I could kill you right now," she mumbled softly as she looked at him, "I haven't 'liked' you for years, I've been in fucking love with you you idiot," she said to him as she stood up from her spot on the couch, "you're telling me you knew the whole time but you just shoved Rayan in my face, you didn't care that you were hurting me at all?" she asked him as she looked at him her eyes filling with tears.

He smiled, "I can make something small so you're hungry enough for dinner," he said as he looked at her, "Something light but filling,"

He shook his head. "No, no. I didn't know then. I only realized once I realized I wasn't getting her back." He admitted. "When she and Wonho got more serious, and you and Hyungwon got more serious, I realized that maybe I had missed something, but I didn't know what. When Hyungwon left, I realized that maybe I could have someone want me like that, but I didn't know where to look. It wasn't until we moved in that I knew, but how could I say anything? By then I was sure you moved on."

---

She smiled a little. "Maybe some ramen? That Korean ramen with the egg was so good before," She told him. "With cheese and kimchi."

Charlotte looked at him then took a deep breath before opening her eyes to look at him, "You've never shown interest in me before," she said to him softly, "Not ever, I.. I didnt want to ruin our friendship," she murmured gently.

He nodded a little,"Alright, I can make that - its easy enough," he admitted as he stood up then stretched a little.

"How could I? I didn't know you found me attractive until later, I didn't even think it was a possibility. So how could I say something about something I didn't think was still happening?" He murmured.

---

She stood up and followed behind him, wrapping her arms around his waist and walking with him. "You love me right? A lot?"

"Everyone in high school knew... Rayan knew, Wonho knew...hyungwon knew," she murmured softly as she looked at him, "Even tae knew, said you're were the most oblivious person on earth," she msiled a little as she rubbed the back of her neck lightly, "Guess that doesn't matter thought does it?"

He smiled, "Of course I do," he said to her smiling a little," Why do you ask?" he said lightly as he got the things he needed.

He sighed. "Might have made it worse if I had known." He admitted. "You know as well as I do, I was blinded. I may have tried to talk you out of it or something. But... if even Rayan knew that must have been hard." He mumbled.

---

She shrugged a little. "Dunno, maybe I think we're changing but I guess it's a part of life. We were more... like in love in high school, I guess. More like high school sweethearts than we are now. But we're also older and maybe that's just how we're going to be?"

She looked at him then nodded a little, "Did you mean it?" she asked him as she looked at him her heart once against in her throat, the last time itd been this hard to breathe out of anticipation it was when he kissed her during spin the bottle.

He smiled and nodded, "Maybe we're jsut comfortable?" he sad to her

"I do, if you do actually still like me." He smiled a little. "I wouldn't mind a date, especially since you want to get out and date again too."

---

"Maybe. I don't know, sometimes I wonder about it, but if you say not to worry about it I wont. Because just like you wouldn't be okay without me, I don't know if I'd be okay without you. I would probably try to get you to take me back if we broke up, because I don't want anyone else." She sighed.

"I'm not worried," he said to her lightly, "I feel like we're good," he said to her then wet his lips as he began cookig.

She looked at him, "Then plan something and we can go out and do something," she said to him lightly as she looked at him.

“Good,” She mumbled. “You can’t ever leave me anyway, I’d surely follow you.” She admitted.

He nodded a little. “Alright, when are you free next?”

"I'm free tonight no plans but lounging," she said to him as she sat down on the couch and folded her legs under herself.

He smiled a lttle as he cooked, "I'd never leave you anyway, you're perfect," he said as he wet his lips lightly.

She smiled at him. “Really? I think you’re perfect too,” She admitted, burying her face into his neck.

He smiled a little. “Okay then I’ll figure something out for us to do and we can go out tonight.”

He smiled a little as he cooked for them, he hated how he felt so insecure - he didn't know why; she never led other guys on or made him believe she wanted someone else.

She nodded a little, "Sounds good to me, should I dress casual?" she asked him as she glanced at him - fuck why were her ears burning? Her heart felt like it could stop at any second.

She kept her hands around him and smiled a little. “Your birthday is coming up, anything you want?” She asked curiously.

---

He nodded. “Yeah nothing crazy,” He laughed a little. “Maybe in an hour or so?”