sorry for you

"I want you to stop being a dick," Kensley said eventually, looking over at him, frowning slightly as she tried not to acknowledge the fact that he was even more attractive than he had been when she was younger. "I want to be able to look at you and believe you, but I can't, because I don't believe you. You expect me to know how to magically fix that? I don't. I'm not the one who screwed up, I'm the one who got abandoned and forgotten, and I don't know how to fix any of that, I don't know how to fix myself, so how the fuck am I supposed to know how to fix this?"

Calum watched her for a moment, trying to gauge what she was thinking, trying to understand her the way he used to. Her mannerisms hadn't changed as far as he'd seen, but he knew a lot of her personality did, and he wanted to see if that was all a mask to protect herself or if the damage he'd done to her had really caused her to change that drastically. But, for now, he thought about her question and figured the only way to really show her was to just do it, to be there, to let her know that his attention was fully on her, every day, always. "Do you still play?" he asked her after a moment, "I mean, I know that's not really showing anything, but I don't know, music's always kind of spoken louder for us than anything." He smiled, hopeful.

Luke watched Kensley closely, his heart clenching with disappointment in himself that he caused all this hurt. Shifting, Luke knelt in front of her, studying her carefully. "Then I'll stop being a dick." Luke promised, tucking a strand of hair from her face, trying to soothe her anxiety, and Luke hated himself, more than anything, because he did this to her. He lost Kensley's trust in him, and Luke knew he fucked up. Stopping to think for a moment, Luke thought of something, trying to ignore how gorgeous she was. "How about we take it slow?" He offered. "Do you still sing? Play guitar?"

A small smile came to Amelia's lips with Calum's question, nodding slightly. "I practice here and there." She shrugged. "Got my own bass now, too." She smiled proudly with that, and although her stubborn, guarded side screamed at her to stop, to protect herself, to push him away and not let him in, Amelia could never not discuss music, with anybody. "My eighteenth birthday present, she's a beauty, too." She shrugged her shoulders lightly once more. "And I guess, with the band, you've gotten better. No practice needed."

Kensley wished he hadn't come so close, her heart racing and aching at the same time, even more so when he tucked her hair away. She ducked her head, her fingers curling against her knees still, and she tried to breathe through the emotions building up in her, because she wasn't supposed to feel this way about him, not after all the pain he'd already put her through. "A little," she said eventually, quietly, hating herself for how weak her voice became, and she blamed it on the fact that he was so damn close that she could smell his cologne. "I've got an acoustic and an electric guitar now. I prefer the acoustic, though. I don't sing as much."

Calum smiled slightly when she smiled, so glad to see it, though it turned to a grin when he saw her smile turned proud, and he could feel his heart swelling with the sight, wishing he could put a smile on her face like that every day for the rest of his life. "Yeah?" he asked, arching a brow. "Maybe we can head over to yours and you can show me? I'd love to see if you improved at all." He grinned teasingly, unable to help it, though he chewed on his lip, trying to remind himself not to act as normal as he would have if things hadn't changed; the last thing he wanted was for her to get wary around him because he was trying too hard. "You'd be wrong! Practice is totally needed." He grinned. "If I didn't practice, you'd definitely overpass me in skills, I'm sure."

Luke smiled, nodding with her words. "Acoustic is much better." He smiled, getting comfortable in front of her. "Why don't you sing as much?" Luke frowned with that piece of information. "You have a beautiful voice, Kensley." He told her honestly, and although her voice had changed as she matured, Luke was certain that she'd sound even better now than she did at fourteen. "Maybe we can jam?" He offered. "Get you back into the swing of it." He smiled softly, biting his lip with hope.

"You're always welcome." Amelia smiled weakly, biting the inside of her cheek to keep her nerves at bay. "Just don't be jealous that my bass is prettier than any of yours." She warned, mentally thanking her lucky stars that she only lived two doors down from Kensley's home, because it meant she could get a quick get away if things were to go wrong. Hearing his words though, Amelia laughed. "Like I believe that."

"That's what I think, too! It sounds nicer, gentler," Kinsley told him, nodding happily, at least finding it easy to talk about that, even if everything else was hard. She blinked, though, and made a face before clearing her throat. "Ah, well, because I couldn't sing without getting emotional and it sucked, so I just stopped, for the most part. With playing guitar, getting emotional doesn't really hurt the performance. With singing, there's voice cracks, sniffling, all of that..." Shrugging slightly, she ducked her head again but she nodded to his suggestion. "Okay."

"Ooh, ouch, did you just insult all my gorgeous bass babies?" Calum asked, pretending to sound offended as he placed a hand over his heart. "That's harsh, Amelia." He grinned, though, at least glad that she was giving him this chance to spend time with her, to reconnect over something they both loved. "Oi, it's the truth! Ask anyone. I have faith in you, you'll be a world renowned bassist before you know it." He winked teasingly, unable to stop himself but, when he realized what he'd done, he tried not to overreact with it and grinned. "Let's get going, yeah?"

Luke smiled with Kensley’s enthusiasm for the acoustic guitar, loving to see some form of happiness return to her. “Where’s your guitar?” He asked, standing up once more, although he didn’t want to - he wanted to stay that close to her all day, finding so much comfort just by being there with her. Hearing her explanation about singing, Luke felt his heart break a little more, but made a silent promise to himself that he would help Kensley rekindle her passion for singing. Looking around, Luke saw a beautiful acoustic guitar, sat in the corner of the room. “This her?”

Amelia laughed, biting her lip in amusement as she silently led the way down the stairs and out of the house, strolling down the garden path she was led up by Charlie not half an hour before. Waiting for Calum to catch up, Amelia straightened out her cardigan, suddenly a little self conscious. Deciding to ignore it, Amelia smiled at Calum. “I’m sure you remember where I live,” she teased.

Kensley watched him quietly, trying not to be obvious about it, and she wondered how it was even possible that he'd gotten more attractive than he had been back then. She ducked her head, though, because she knew she couldn't think things like that - back then, her attraction to him had been innocent, like any other crush. But, now, she knew her attraction could come with imagination, and she cleared her throat to try to not think about any of that. "Yeah, that's her," she confirmed when she peered over, grinning slightly. "She's a beaut, right?"

Calum followed her obediently, unable to help but to peer over at her on occasion, finding himself wondering if all of this would help her in some way. More than anything, he just wanted to be near her and spend time with her, reconnect with the girl he'd loved like a little sister - the girl he now couldn't even look at without feeling his heart racing with the fact that he wasn't seeing her as that girl anymore. "I don't think I could ever forget," he said with a broad grin, tearing his gaze away from her despite not wanting to, settling his gaze ahead. "The path's kind of engraved in my mind." And he wouldn't change that for the world.

Luke felt Kensley's eyes on him as he moved, and he was disappointed in himself for hoping that she thought the same of him that he thought of her. Seeing how the years had changed her, for the best, made Luke appreciate her a little more, but he knew that long gone were the days of him considering her to be a little sister, because she was a grown woman now, and dammit, she was beautiful. Whenever Luke looked at her, his heart rate picked up and he had the breath knocked out of him. Taking his mind off the thoughts, Luke focused on her words and nodded as he picked up the guitar carefully. "She is," he nodded, looking to her, hoping she'd understand his double meaning, although he half hoped she didn't, because he didn't want to seem weird.

Amelia smiled softly with Calum's words, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear as she allowed Calum up her garden path first, closing the gate behind them. Unlocking the front door, Amelia entered over the threshold, smiling as her cat, Patch, greeted her. "Hey, Patch." She greeted happily, kneeling to scratch the cat behind the ears, before heading upstairs. "C'mon, Cal." She looked over her shoulder at him, knowing that he'd spent so long here, he practically knew the house from heart. As Calum caught up, Amelia picked up her white bass, complete with gold features, proud of the instrument.

Kensley paused when Luke looked at her and she tried hard not to read into his words with the fact that he was looking at her when he said them, but she couldn't help the slight hope that swelled in her chest. For a few moments, she could only watch him, trying to decipher whether holding onto that hope was a good idea, whether there was any chance of the attraction being mutual. "I'm glad you think so," she said eventually, clearing her throat a bit as she offered a smile. "Go on, then, show me what you're made of, whether you still have those skills or not."

Calum blinked when he saw the cat but he laughed. "Oh, wow, you guys still have Patch?" he asked with mild surprise, grinning as he crouched down to give Patch some attention, though he swore his heart stopped beating in his chest when he saw Amelia kneel and he chewed hard on his lip to bite back any noise that tried to escape with the fact that she was affecting him so easily. He realized, then, that being in this house alone with her probably wasn't the best idea, aware his thoughts would probably go wild. Clearing his throat, he stood to follow after her, though he grinned slightly when he saw her bass. "Wow, she's gorgeous," he admitted, though his gaze was mostly on her and he couldn't help but to add, "You two really complement each other."

Luke smiled, approaching to sit beside Kensley on the bed. "Shift over," he murmured, sitting on the edge so he wasn't overstepping any boundaries she might have put in place, because Luke wanted to show Kensley, even with the time and distance that was put between them, he still respected her, and still held all of that adoration for her, even if it wasn't the same kind of adoration it was before, it was stronger now, more mature in the feeling and thought. "Any requests?" Luke asked as he tuned the guitar, lifting his gaze to Kensley, watching her fondly. "Or I can play something, teach you how to play it." He offered.

Amelia smiled with Calum's words. "Sure do, she's an old lady now." She laughed, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. "She's seventeen." She told Calum, but her smile broadened to a grin when Calum complimented her bass. "Isn't she just?" She asked, looking up, pausing for a brief moment when she noticed his eyes on her instead of the bass. Blinking in surprise, trying her hardest not to read into it, Amelia bit her lip, but tuned the bass. "Thank you, Calum. I love her." She sat at the edge of her bed.

Kensley smiled, shifting a bit to make room for him, though she found herself watching as he tuned the guitar. The sight was so familiar, despite how much time had passed since she last saw him like this, how much he had changed, even how much she had changed. "I'm kind of into the second option," she decided with a small grin, trying to ignore the fact that she was more into that option because of the fact that he hadn't taught her in so long. "As long as that's okay?"

Calum smiled with the mention of it. "I'm glad she's still around, in that case," he told her as he nodded, though he grinned as he watched her, taking her in when she moved to sit down, amazed by her, by how damn stunning she was after all this time. Clearing his throat, he nodded. "I don't blame you." Grinning still, he made his way over, arching a brow. "Mind if I sit down?" And, peering around, he could see how different the room was. Long gone were all the things he used to associate with Amelia, replaced with things that seemed to really define her, and he felt his heart swell with the thought, because she really had grown up and he hadn't been here to witness it. But, then, if he had been there, he wondered if he would feel this way about her.

"Hey, it's good with me." Luke reassured, smiling as he saw Kensley's grin, the sight alone enough to cause his heart to squeeze in the best way. Luke had never thought he'd fall in love with Kensley, because he always saw her as a girl, but now she was a woman and Luke could feel himself falling and he almost scared of it, because he was the idiot that abandoned her for four years. Beginning to play the acoustic chords for Want You Back, Luke grinned as he began singing, watching Kensley for a long moment as he did, wanting, more than anything, to teach her his music; and knowing he'd made the right choice of song, because that song was so relevant for his current situation, his current emotions.

"Go ahead," Amelia smiled, shifting over to give Calum room to sit down, crossing one leg over the other as she supported her bass in her hands. Watching Calum study her room, Amelia smiled weakly, just appreciating how incredibly handsome he was in his moment of concentration, because dammit, he was gorgeous back then, but now, he was just ethereal, and Amelia wondered what was going through his head. There was a time where Calum could read her like a book, and she wished she held that same power, wondering if she ever did have that power, no matter the four year rift between them. "You're thinking hard."

Kensley watched him play quietly, her attention on the way his fingers moved through the chords, chewing on her lip, and she listened quietly while he sang. She'd always loved the sound of Luke's voice, always amazed by it, his voice having always been her favorite sound, even before her crush on him had originally formed. As he sang, she paid attention to the words and wondered if the song was inspired by one of his relationships or one of the other guys' relationships, and she tried not to think about it. Eventually, she lifted her gaze to watch him sing, though she found herself frozen when she saw that he was watching her while he was singing and she could feel her body grow warm in a way she didn't want to admit to.

Calum grinned as he moved to sit down, grateful that she was letting him him sit down, but he made sure not to sit too close - both to avoid invading her personal space when they were still trying to fix things, and because he was sure that, if he sat too close, his thoughts would go crazy. He blinked, though, to her words and he offered a weak smile. "Sorry," he told her, lifting his shoulders in a small shrug. "I'm just... It's really setting in how much things have changed." He peered around the room again for a few moments before he eventually settled his gaze fully on her, focusing on her, wanting her to know that she had all of his attention. "How much you've changed, too." And he offered a weak smile. "It kind of really drives home how badly I screwed up, honestly." He chewed on his lip in thought for a moment before he cleared his throat. "Alright, so are you gonna play or do you want to me to show you I've still got what it takes to jam with you?" He grinned.

Luke smiled slightly when Kensley's attention fell on him, unable to stop himself. Dropping his gaze to the guitar so he didn't make her feel uncomfortable, Luke finished the song, toying with his lower lip. "What do you think?" He asked, relaxing further onto her bed as he gently handed her the guitar back, admiring how amazing she looked with a guitar, how she looked in general. Luke was still in so much disbelief that this woman was the girl he knew so long ago, and he just couldn't help the thoughts that drifted through his mind - the possibilities of it all. Did she only see him as a friend? Would she find him strange for thinking all of this? "Show me what you're made of then." He grinned. "Surprise me."

Amelia's eyebrows furrowed slightly with Calum's words, wanting to tell him it was okay. It still hurt, of course it did, but he was here now, and that's what mattered most to Amelia. The fact that Calum seemed to keen to fix things between them touched her, and she smiled weakly. "People change all the time, Calum, in good ways and bad." She told him as she handed her bass to him, wanting him to know he had her full attention. "Show me what you got, band boy." She teased lightly.

Kensley felt her breathing return when Luke's gaze dropped to the guitar and she chewed on her lip but she offered a small smile. "What a sap. Whoever that song was about should have already taken their guy back," she teased lightly, though weakly, "But it was really amazing, Luke." And, she meant it, even with the way her heart ached. She blinked, though, shifting to take the guitar as she thought for a few moments. "Alright, alright." She strummed the guitar in thought, chewing on her lip before settling on playing "For Love" by The Sam Willows. At first, she wasn't going to sing, but she figured it was only fair, and she sang the words softly while she played.

Calum offered an amused look as he took the bass and shifted to hold it comfortably as he sat. "Speaking of, I promised your parents I'd try to talk to you about the trouble you've been getting into," he mentioned carefully, "So just... When you're ready to talk about that, let me know, okay? Because I don't want to cross any lines." There were actually a lot of lines he wanted to cross, but he couldn't bring himself to, worried about how she would react, and he nodded, settling his gaze on the bass as he thought. The moment a song came in his mind, though, he grinned and began playing "The Only Reason," though his gaze settled on her while he played and sang, hoping to really show her how much he wanted to fix everything he'd done, how much he wanted to make up for the pain he'd put her through.

Luke laughed with Kensley's words, running a hand through his hair, shaking his head in amusement. He watched her carefully though as she took the guitar, and he admired just how natural it seemed for her to hold it, to play the instrument, the way she chewed on her lip gaining a reaction from Luke, who found himself biting his lip at the sight of her. Hearing her sing though, Luke paused, completely in awe of how much she'd improved. She was great before, but now, she was amazing, and Luke found himself falling even deeper with just that alone, as if his heart was searching for an excuse to justify the feeling. Smiling as he listened closely, Luke never took his gaze from her, wanting her to know he had every intention to stay focused, stay in her life.

Amelia's heart skipped anxiously with Calum's words. She'd never addressed it, even to herself, but the reason why she acted out so much was to seek the validation that she yearned for once Calum left. Ducking her head with the thought. "I won't be ready, Cal." She told him, but she shifted to concentrate on him as he shifted, admiring how fantastic he looked holding her bass. Hearing Calum sing though, Amelia felt her heart ignite to flames, because his voice had always been so incredible, he had always been so incredible, but hearing him now, after all this time, was almost a religious experience.

As Kensley played, she found her gaze going to Luke, because she'd always related the song to him, to how much he'd hurt her. The first time she'd heard it, she'd cried, despite that she'd told herself she was done crying over him. Her heart swelled when she saw him smiling, and, as she'd expected, she could feel her emotions getting the better of her, so she stopped singing when the song was nearing its end and, when she finished playing, she shifted a bit, still holding the guitar carefully. "Alright, that's enough of that," she joked lightly, clearing her throat.

Calum listened to what she'd said, but he was determined to get her to talk about it eventually, still worried he had an effect on why she was acting out like this. Still, as he played, he grinned as he watched her, hoping she understood what she meant to him, regardless of whether she knew about his growing feelings for her or not. As he finished playing and singing, he shifted to offer the bass to her. "Alright, opinion? Be nice, miss critic," he teased, winking teasingly, though he shifted to get a little more comfortable, facing her a bit more. "And now it's your turn."

Luke felt a concern in his chest when he heard Kensley clear her throat, and all he wanted to do was reach out, hold her, tell her how damn sorry he was for being the world's biggest idiot. Reaching to take the guitar from her, Luke took the beautiful instrument and put it back in it's spot, sitting beside Kensley again. "You've still got the most beautiful voice." He told her honestly, but Kensley, in her entire self, was Luke's favourite thing on the planet, and he couldn't figure out why he'd let himself be so stupid to neglect her. In a way though, Luke was glad they lost touch, because he was certain that he wouldn't be feeling this way for her if he'd continued to watch her grow.

Amelia took her bass back carefully, laughing with Calum's words. "You've gotten better." She teased, but she bit her lower lip, sighing quietly, not wanting to tell him that his voice always brought her so much comfort, because she didn't want him to suspect her crush, which was still there now, even stronger than what it was before. Amelia had never known love, but she was certain she was close to knowing it. "You're amazing, Calum." She told him, although she shifted, beginning to play as she sung quietly, having listened to the song religiously to heal her broken heart when Calum left.

Kensley couldn't help but to laugh and she shrugged slightly, shifting a bit. "Yeah, well, I haven't practiced with my voice in a while," she reminded, making a slight face, trying to push away the emotions that had built up in her. "But, I don't think you can say that I've got the most beautiful voice when that's kind of always been your thing." She grinned teasingly, shrugging slightly.

Calum chuckled gently with the mention of it. "You think so?" he asked, though he could feel his heart swelling, igniting in the best way possible with the fact that she thought something like that. "I'm really glad you think so. Practice makes perfect." He winked teasingly in reference to their conversation about practicing, but he fell silent when she began to play. He watched her, listening quietly, a fond smile forming on his features because she had really excelled in her music skills and he couldn't help but to be proud of her. When she began to sing, he swore his heart stopped and he focused on her, completely entranced, in awe of her.

Luke thought for a moment, wanting to encourage Kensley to sing, because he'd never heard anything so beautiful - no church bells or ocean waves could ever compare. Smiling as he got an idea, Luke looked to Kensley. "Why don't you sing acapella?" Luke offered, but laughed with her compliment. "It's our thing, Kens." He reassured her with a grin, studying her for a long moment, because he didn't want her to think that she wasn't a good singer, the talent she held almost took Luke's breath away, and with all these new feelings stirring inside of him, Luke couldn't deny that now, her voice was his favourite sound.

Amelia finished the song, biting her lip nervously as she looked to Calum, going to put her bass back in case he had any negative reaction, the thought of Calum being disappointed in her leaving a bitter taste in Amelia's mouth. "What do you think?" She asked as she sat beside Calum once more, leaving a little less space between them than Calum did, because she just gravitated towards him so naturally, she was almost yearning to feel his presence beside hers.