Before the Sun Sets

@ BadStreetBoys
Bella buried her face into her pillow and tried to control the shaking. She hated this. It was an automatic response now and she hated to hear his words. That was how he saw her was abandoning and cruel. She had been a kid then she had been a kid that lost her mother and had a father that lost himself. She had been dealing with so much there at the end and it wasn't like he could see it either. She could blame him for all her pain but she didn't. She blamed him for distancing himself, for not trusting her, for being angry and cold when she needed her best friend the most. And the times she had thought just maybe he could be there for her, the moment she showed any push pack to see if he would stay, he ran again and again. She couldn't help the tears that fell from her eyes. She hid them in the pillows. It was all t soon when the RV stopped. She sat up and pushed her hair back. She pulled it up and grabbed her camera stuff. She fixed her makeup int the door mirror then headed out. she closed the RV door hoping he wouldn't come out. She didn't want to speak with him. Olivia looked around and smiled at the space around her. She pulled out her camera and put her other equipment on her back. She headed out to find the sight angles on the beautiful land in front of her.

@ Jinx...
Leo and Ricky argued, cried, and fought over the phone. Leo threw his phone across the small room after they hung up. He grabbed the blankets and covered himself up as he pulled a pillow to his chest and began to cry.

Tony had gotten a call from Ricky after he confronted Leo. Tony tried to calm Ricky down, he told Ricky to get rid of the bottles and he would deal with the rest. Tony sent Olivia a text, Hey, Ricky found out about Leo’s drinking. Just want to let you know in case he starts acting up. Ricky already called and confronted him. I’m going to deal with Ricky back here since the kid is distraught. If you need any help with Leo give me a call.

Leo had cried until they arrived at the stop. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to get out. He figured he would just because they would be trapped on this RV for a while afterwards. He got dressed and put on sunglasses before walking out. He didn’t pay any mind to Olivia. He didn’t want to. If she didn’t want to talk to him, he wouldn’t talk to her. He made his way to a small coffee shop nearby, grabbing himself a coffee, a chai for Olivia, and he also grabbed a half dozen fresh bagels so they could have some for breakfast the next. After he went to the gas station and got a little container of cream cheese. Leo made his way back, checking his watch for the time. They had to leave soon. Leo placed the chai he got for Olivia on the table so she would see it. He went back into his own room with his drink.

@ BadStreetBoys
Bella got some great shots and looked at the time. She could spend half a day here. Yep she was going to have to talk to Leo about this time table. It was ridiculous. She sighed knowing part of it was just that she wanted to do some photography that wasn't for the movie in these amazing places. She headed back to the RV and got on just in time as it started up. She set her bag on the couch looking up from her camera and saw the tea. She pulled out her phone from her bag to see if he had texted her and found a text from Tony. She sighed. "Damn it." she cursed under her breath. She knew she had to deal with this. She took the tea and her camera. She stuffed her phone back in the bag. She moved over to Leo's room and opened the door. She plopped onto his bed sipping the tea as she crossed her legs. She looked over at him and smirked. "You missed what I got." she said and leaned over showing him the pictures of brilliant trees and creeks that lead to a lake that reflected the beauty. "I would have loved to have caught it in the fog." she said and smiled. "Thanks for the Chai." she said. She pursed her lips. "Tony messaged me. So you wanna talk about what happened with Ricky?" she asked setting her camera in her lap. This was pretty big. She knew Ricky would feel the same way she did. He would be pretty pissed and let Leo know. She just wondered how he hadn't realized it sooner. Maybe he just hadn't wanted to but suspected. Bella looked over at Leo with gentle eyes. He would think it was pity but it wasn't. She wanted to be there for him when he was hurting and she knew how important Ricky was to him. He would never leave Ricky.

@ Jinx...
Leo laid in bed, scrolling through his phone with near no emotion on his face. Occasionally reaching out and sipping from his drink. He jumped slightly when his door opened and Olivia entered. Leo sat up and leaned against the headboard, eyes watching her distrustingly. He sighed and leaned forward as he looked at her pictures, nodding. “It looks nice. Next stop is prettier. Autumn leaves everywhere.” He commented. When she thanked him he just nodded, reaching our and taking his drink. He began to sip it. Leo tensed up when she mentioned what happened with Ricky. His arms crossed over his chest. He just shook his head and sighed. “It’s none of your business, Olivia.” He said and looked up, shaking his head as he saw the look she was giving him. “I’m fine. Ricky will be fine.” He said and finished his drink, tossing it away in the trash can in the corner. “You go from being absolutely pissed at me looking at me like I’m human garbage, to looking at me like you used to when we were kids. Looking at me like I’m another sick puppy for you to take care of.”

@ BadStreetBoys
Bella bit her lip not saying anything about him saying her name wrong again. She raised her brow. "Will he?" she asked him. She bit her lip. "Don't get me wrong I'm still pissed at you but sometimes things are bigger than my feelings like making sure you don't do something stupid to yourself you can't come back from." She pursed her lips. "I've never thought of you as a sick puppy Leo. I wanted to be there for you but I needed that too. I was a kid with a lot of pain too ya know but I'm not getting into that now this is about Ricky. I know how he feels because that's how I felt that night in the restaurant." She stood pacing. "Hurt, betrayed and confused but also sad and afraid." she looked at him with vulnerable eyes. "Afraid for you and for myself because my experiences with drunk men..." she shook her head. "Ricky feels this way too I know it." she said. "He's worried for you and worried about what he will loose if he follow the same path your father did." she said. "You know you never did tell me what happened after I moved away. I don't know what happened to you. But I know a lot still. Probably more than you realize. Your pain always clouded the fact that I was knew you." She frowned and bit her lip. She took a deep breath and changed the subject before he got angry again. "You never did ask why I changed my name you know you just refused to call me Bella. I have a reason." she said and finished her drink. She looked at him wondering if she had said to much and should leave or not enough and should stay.

@ Jinx...
Leo watched Olivia as she spoke. He hated that she pretended to know how he felt and what his life, and his relationships were like. He ran a hand through his hair. “I am nothing like my father.” He said curtly. His eyes moving away from Olivia. “I am making something of myself, I am providing for my family. I am doing something!” He said and looked back. “I am the reason that Ricky is able to attend NYU, and not taken out a single student loan, and not working a single day. My books, my livelihood are providing for us.” He told her. Leo took a deep breath. “We will be fine. I am not a drunk. He won’t lose me. You won’t me. I’m here and I’m here to stay.” When she mentioned his life after he left he just shrugged and shook his head. “Same old shit. Same stuff you’ve already heard. Didn’t think I needed to reiterate.” He told her. “You haven’t told me either, Liv.” When Olivia mentioned her name change he held his hand up and shook his head. “I don’t care, you’re Liv, Olivia to me.” He told her and rubbed the back of his neck, not wanting to upset her but knowing that comment was probably an asshole one. “I care about you but I can’t just like, change who you are in my mind.”

@ BadStreetBoys
Olivia frowned. She knew there was more to his life than that. She frowned and shrugged. "I'm not ready to tell you yet. I don't even know if I can trust you yet." She said and frowned looking away as he flat out refused to hear her out on her name change. She looked back at him as he said he cared. She frowned her eyebrows drawing together. "Do you really care for me?" She asked looking vulnerable. "Do you want to find out who I am and maybe change the way you see me?" She asked looking at him. "Do you want to be my friend again?" She wanted that so badly. She wanted yo start over but didn't think they could or that he would want to.

@ Jinx...
Leo laughed. “You aren’t ready to tell me, but you expect me to tell you? Do you not see the irony in that?” He countered. Leo leaned back into his bed and crossed his arms over his chest. He couldn’t tell if this was an agreement or what it was. It certainly wasn’t evoking joy or positive emotions. “Yes, I’ve always cared about you. And yes I want to be friends again, Olivia. It was something I wanted for years after you left.” Leo told her and took a deep breath. “We’ve both changed but we’re still the same people to one another. You don’t just lose and forget the past. You’re still Olivia to me and you always will be. Just like I’m Leo and always will be Leo.” Leo sat up a bit more and reached out, tapping his fingers on his side table. “You don’t seem to want to get to know me. All you care about is the fact that I drink and it makes you so so angry.” He said and sighed running a hand down his face. “I’ll make you a deal, Liv.”

@ BadStreetBoys
Bella nodded in understanding. "I have told anyone Leo." She admitted. She sighed as he spoke knowing part of that was right. "I want to get to know you Leo not drinking you because it changes you. And yeah I'm angry but maybe that has less to do with you than it does me. Maybe I'm trying to figure my shit out too." She shook her head and sat back on his bed looking at him as he sighed. "What's your deal?" She asked curiously torn between wanting to continue to be angry and calling a truce yo see if they could be friends again. But could she be his friend and not tell him that he's being stupid with drinking? She would at least hear him out. Maybe they could both call a truce on their anger.

@ Jinx...
Leo sighed as he listened, his hands running down his face and breathing heavy. He just wanted the confrontation to be over. He didn’t like it. He looked up when Olivia was done talking. “My deal?” He said and raised an eyebrow. “When I saw you that day when we first met, well met again for the second time.” He took a breath and paused. “Everything flooded back. All the feelings, the emotions, the memories from when we were kids. And my body literally craved it, craved you again.” Leo looked away and squeezed his fists tight as he took a few slow breaths. “I just wanted us to be friends again. But those feelings also brought back the pain from high school and I can’t deal with that again.” He looked back at her, pain in his eyes. “Yes I want you back, Liv. But fuck I don’t know how to handle everything I feel inside of me. Being numb is better than what I feel when I’m reliving my hellish past. And maybe I do drink a little too much to deal with the pain. But fuck Olivia, I don’t know what to do.” He said and fought back the tears in his eyes.

@ BadStreetBoys
Bella bit her lip as he took it an entirely different direction than she thought he was going to. What he said physically resonated with her and even mirrors her own feelings. She nodded and moved closer to him. She ran her hands up his arms and waited until his eyes met hers. "Pain will never go away Leo, we got unlucky and got more than our fair share but now we have to figure out what's next. I don't know if you need to learn how to let you emotions out differently or what can be done but I want to help you." She said and the looked down. "I feel that way too. I want to be your... friend, but every time I try I find something to get pissed at and it's easier to just be mad about what your not and what happened. So what do you want to do? How can we both get what we want without exploding inside? Do we need to talk about it? Do we need to fight? Do we need to start over?" She asked him because all of it she could do. She just wanted her Leo back because it was like an ache inside of her pulling her into his arms.

@ Jinx...
Leo’s eyes stayed down, but eventually he looked up at her. Pain and worry in his own eyes, he saw the same emotions come back to him from hers. “I don’t know, Liv.” He said and rubbed his temples. When she touched his arm he softened. “Sometimes I just wanna scream about everything and get it all out, and have you do the same. Other times I want to bawl and cry. And sometimes I just want to forget everything and move on and meet again. And other times.” He paused and took a breath shaking his head. He didn’t finish that thought. “I don’t know what to do but we won’t survive this trip being petty and angry and annoying towards each other.” He told her. His heart ached, his body ached. He felt so tight and riled up but leo had no idea how to process it or let it out.

@ BadStreetBoys
Bella nodded softly. She was relieved he felt the same way. "Okay then we do those things. We stop holding back and let it just be natural that way." She said and bit her lip. "But Leo please don't yell at me when your drunk." She sighed and sat back. She pulled her legs up into her chest. "My dad started to drink after mom died and whenever he got upset he would drink then he would yell at me. He would often throw things. When I tried to run..." She looked down. "He would pin me against the wall and yell in my face. If he was really upset he would hit the wall by my head." Her eyes listened with unshead tears. She bit her bottom lip as it trembled. "That's what I didn't want to talk about." She said truthfully. "I don't like feeling this vulnerable..." She pulled her hair to the side. "When he would drink... I would stop eating... I still have to force myself to eat." She felt the tear fall and she pushed it away. She wanted to run. Everything in her told her not to let Leo have anymore of her vulnerability but she sat there instead. "I want to run every time it's uncomfortable."

@ Jinx...
Leo’s eyes softens as he listened to Olivia talk about her experience with her father. He knew how much worse it could be, but pain wasn’t a competition. Pain was relative. Leo reached out and wrapped his arms around Olivia, pulling her to his chest and holding her close. Just like he used to when they were kids. He used own hand and gently wiped away another tear. “I’m sorry you had to go through this.” He murmured and rested his head against hers. Leo swallowed hard and closed his eyes. He wanted to comfort Olivia like he used to. He didn’t want to cause the pain, anger, and worry that she seemed to experience from drinking. Leo pulled away and leaned back against the head board. “I’m sorry.” He said and breathed deeply again.

@ BadStreetBoys
Bella felt Leo's arms around her and she leaned into him feeling her walls come down just a little. She tilted her head into his hand as he pushed her tears away. She didn't want this man to be one she would flinch at when he yelled and she knew if he was drunk she would. "Can you promise me that you won't yell when drunk?" She knew it was a lot to ask. When Leo pulled away she shook her head and scooted to the edge of the bed. "Don't apologize." She said and stood after a moment. She grinned at him softly. "Thanks." She said and picked up her camera. "I'm going to go freshen up." She said with a sad grin. She left the room feeling foolish but she knew that it had to feel a little weird before it started to feel normal again to be vulnerable.

@ Jinx...
Leo was glad to have seemed to comfort Olivia, even if it was only a little bit. “I promise to do my best, I don’t want you to be scared of me or anything like that.” He murmured. Leo nodded as he watched her walk out of his room. He figured he should do the same. The shower and the long conversation helped him sober up and he felt better. He got up and found some wipes to wash his face off. He pulled on some better looking clothes. Leo also brushed his hair and put some aftershave on his face. When he was done he stepped out of his room and walked up to the front of the RV. He sat down in the seat and grabbed his notebook off of the dashboard.

@ BadStreetBoys
Olivia nodded as he promised to try. That was better than the last promise he gave her. She spent the next several hours on her computer working on photos. She felt strange and yet better now having talked to Leo. They hadn't really talked about Ricky but she would see if she could bring up the subject later. She needed a break from looking at the screen and moved back out to the cabin. She grabbed a bannana taking a bite as she moved around and peeked into the cockpit seeing Leo. She watched him for a moment then slipped into the other chair with a dramatic umph. She smiled softly then looked outside taking another bite of her food. She watched the road before them move past and she bit her lip thinking there had to be dozens of places that she could spend hours at. She could spend a year out on the road and still want more time but they didn't have a year.

@ Jinx...
Leo was occasionally looking out at the road they took, but for the most part he was writing. He would switch between editing the screenplay before filming, and working on a new novel. He wanted to write a four part series, maybe cut down to a trilogy. He was taking Olivia’s advice to heart about the focus of his universe and the book he wanted to create. His focus was interrupted by Olivia and he closed the notebook before looking up at her across from him. “What have you been up to?” He asked and slid his pencil into the notebook before tossing it onto the dashboard again. “I’m a shitty writer. I can’t do one thing for too long. I have to have multiple projects going because I have to go back and forth working on them or my focus will be broken and I’ll get writers block like mad.” He said and laughed to himself.

@ BadStreetBoys
Bella grinned as he tossed his notebook. "I've been editing some photos picking ones out I think might work for later and taking out the duds."She shrugged. She raised a brow then frowned. " That doesn't make you a shitty writer Leo." She sat up turning to him more. "Be kind to yourself. Your a top of the chart selling author. You don't need to doubt that." She said. "So be kind to yourself and trust your creative flow." She chuckled. "Would you say I am a sucky photographer if I told you I hate going through and editing my photos?" She asked him. Bella wished there was a way she could show him just how good he was. "I use to be your sounding board with writing too." She grinned. "Who did you do that with for your books?" She asked. She knew Leo loved Ricky but they didn't seem close in that way, not that she had seen at least.

@ Jinx...
Leo nodded, he knew editing was a painstaking process. He wondered if photo editing or writing editing was more boring. When Olivia countered his degrading comment about himself. His cheeks flushed and he awkwardly rubbed the back of his neck. “I know I know.” He mumbled and bit his lip. “No. It’s just different. A lot of writers can just sit down and go, sit down and get it all down, y’know? I can’t do that.” He laughed awkwardly. “I don’t like think I’m garbage. I just use self deprecating humor a lot.” He said as his eyes finally moved up and looked back at her. “Yes you were.” He said and smiled, his hand reaching out and tapping her knee with a grin. “I just talked to myself I guess. Call me crazy but talking to myself. I’d pretend to be someone else listening. Sometimes I’d even use voices” he said and laughed again. “Okay forget I told you that. You don’t need to know I’m such a weirdo.”