Best/Worst/Stupidest Reviews You've Received

Jolly McJollyson:

I just read the last chapter before the epilogue. The writing is stellar! There are a few grammatical slip-ups, but printing it out and reading it aloud will probably catch those. I'll be reading more of this soon, I can guarantee. I'm really very impressed with the quality and lyricism of your phrasing in several passages. Definitely above-average work. It's good to see you writing so well.

Jolly McJollyson:

I thought the epilogue was hit and miss at points, but when it hit, it hit fucking HARD. Wonderful use of holding off certain details until their power would be the most effective. Ok, one piece of advice I have to give you is never use a thesaurus without also looking up the word you choose. Some synonyms do not have exactly the same meaning as the original word, and even when they do, on occasion they simply don't fit the overall diction of the piece. "bromidic" and "ersatz" come to mind; even though they're both wonderful words, they don't seem to really work in the context of the story.

One other element I didn't really believe, though, was Bianca's daughter. Her use of the "I is" doesn't mesh with the grammar of her mother, and children first learn to speak by listening to their parents. I think her mother would "correct" her at the very least. Oh yeah, one example of getting a tiny bit over-descriptive:

"The path was empty and lonely and the rolling of the tires was incessant and vexatious."

I think you've packed a few too many adjectives in that sentence, and it's not just a matter of numbers. You have four adjectives in this sentence, but four isn't necessarily too many. In this case, what makes it too many is the pairing. "Empty and lonely" are similar enough for you to just choose one, and the same goes for "incessant and vexatious" (I'd pick incessant if I had to).

^ I like his because he's a great writer and he gives constructive criticism.

A lot of people have favorite reviews from Bastard Son... she should get an award.:D Best author too.

EDIT: repeated post

Tas The Pimp-o:

Jolly McJollyson:

I just read the last chapter before the epilogue. The writing is stellar! There are a few grammatical slip-ups, but printing it out and reading it aloud will probably catch those. I'll be reading more of this soon, I can guarantee. I'm really very impressed with the quality and lyricism of your phrasing in several passages. Definitely above-average work. It's good to see you writing so well.

Jolly McJollyson:

I thought the epilogue was hit and miss at points, but when it hit, it hit fucking HARD. Wonderful use of holding off certain details until their power would be the most effective. Ok, one piece of advice I have to give you is never use a thesaurus without also looking up the word you choose. Some synonyms do not have exactly the same meaning as the original word, and even when they do, on occasion they simply don't fit the overall diction of the piece. "bromidic" and "ersatz" come to mind; even though they're both wonderful words, they don't seem to really work in the context of the story.

One other element I didn't really believe, though, was Bianca's daughter. Her use of the "I is" doesn't mesh with the grammar of her mother, and children first learn to speak by listening to their parents. I think her mother would "correct" her at the very least. Oh yeah, one example of getting a tiny bit over-descriptive:

"The path was empty and lonely and the rolling of the tires was incessant and vexatious."

I think you've packed a few too many adjectives in that sentence, and it's not just a matter of numbers. You have four adjectives in this sentence, but four isn't necessarily too many. In this case, what makes it too many is the pairing. "Empty and lonely" are similar enough for you to just choose one, and the same goes for "incessant and vexatious" (I'd pick incessant if I had to).

^ I like his because he's a great writer and he gives constructive criticism.

w00000000000!

The Way:

A lot of people have favorite reviews from Bastard Son... she should get an award.:D Best author too.

I dunno, I think then she'd get thousands of PMs asking her to review people's stories...

Tas The Pimp-o:

Allllllllllrighty then. -Rubs hands together-

Okay. Where do I start? Ah yes...

Beautiful introdution. It reminded me slightly of a comic strip. Actually, the whole thing made me think of something in the same genre as "Grindhouse" or "Sin City". Kind of weird. Creepy even. Demented, possibly. But brilliant and captivating. Like the car wreck you can't pull your eyes away from. Except, your writing isn't exactly my idea of a car accident. But I digress. What I loved most about "Dousing the Phoenix" was the use of language. I loved how you'd saysomethingalongthelinesofthis. It really emphasized the saying and made it all the more beautiful. Ugh! Je t'aime! I like how you used French. Luckily, I took that class and so I know basic French so I knew what you were saying. It added... er... FLAVOR! That's it. Lately, (more like in my epilogue of Polaroids) I've used Latin. And I've found it to be very enlightening. For both myself and the readers. It shows your broad knowledge and makes your readers love you and your work all the more. Hmm... What else? Oh yeah. The plot. Creative and mindblowing. It was so out of this world. I felt like I was in a book. A movie. A comic strip. I was completely engrossed in the words. And as for your implied sex-scene. Even though it was behind a wall it still had a its total effect. Perfectly illustrated. And the whole vulgar appeal. Once again. With the whole scrotum and rectum thing. I found it funny how you said David is probably really constipated 'cause he hasn't crapped in a thousand years. I was like... Wow... BAHAHAHA! Also. I LOVED YOUR ALLUSIONS! I'm a sucker for allusions and you definitely hit the nmail right on the head with that one. As for the title. At first I was thinking, "Dousing the Pheonix. I wonder what the fuck that means..." But I totally got it by the end. Pheonix. The mythological bird who lives in the desert for 500 years. It burns itself and rises again from its own ashes. Immortal. I totally get it. As for the family. Buried under the floorboards. Initially, a tad creepy. I thought he had killed them or something. But then I realized that Thomas was just a creeper who saves money by not paying for a funeral. Thomas. He's an interesting fellow quite the arrogant protagonist. He liked him even though he rubbed me the wrong way a few times. I'm not sure if you meant for him to be the protagonist or antagonist but I enjoyed him nevertheless. I feel like I'm forgetting something but I can't think of it at the moment... So yeah. I'm done.

:mrgreen:

Sherlock:

{I'm keeping my promise :mrgreen:, but I'll try to keep this review as concise as possible, 'cause I have a really important exam to study for.}

It would be a cliché if I started off by saying a plain "wow", but that would perfectly describe the look on my face after reading this. I've read it 2 or 3 times already and still can't get enough. In order to elaborate the subject, you've created this absorbing world placed inside Thomas' head. And better yet, you had me captivated from the mere beginning.

"Nothing had changed."
It was like a perfect intro to his mind, which is as fixed as the museum he works at. In fact, they're like two parallel worlds, with the same story going on in both of them.
It was a couple of paragraphs later, that I finally realized Thomas was kind of entrapped in the decaying world, in his mind. That's when I started feeling sorry for himself. There were all these statues in the same place, the right place every day, finished and with a purpose, a deeper meaning; and there was Thomas, lost and somewhat confused, living his monotonous life.

"A formless, grey-suited sea of faceless, colorless men and women flowed and ebbed with the train schedule, and Thomas sank into the currents, dissolving."
I really liked the way you described the crowds. Like I've said in my previous review, very Orwell-like.

I also like the hint of sarcasm and irony in your writing.
"You're going places, Thomas. How far he'd fallen since. Laughter."
Powerful. Only makes me pitty him more.

Honestly, I adore your writing style. I've always prefered a flowing narration over a dinamic dialogue. Your narration feels even more dinamic than a dialogue. It's like you'd drowned a dialogue into a bunch of fascinating metaphores and comparisons. Even though it's a third person narrative, it feels subjective {still that doesn't get in the way of my perception of Thomas}. It actually feels like one of Thomas' braincells is telling the story. Amazing.

All in all, you have every right to be so arrogant about your writing. I'm in love with it

{Kepping it concise, eh? It's turning into a rant. My interpretation might even be wrong /which is very plausible/, so I'll stop now.}

Bastard Son.:

Sherlock gave me the print-out of this story during class yesterday and I got so absorbed in it that I didn't even notice we were half-way through Social Studies... It was far more interesting anyway.

She's already said everything there is to say, at least when it comes to the interpretation, seeing we've already discussed it amongst ourselves. I get bored easily. With reading prose at least. I do finish what I've started, but with some authors, I just get fed up and my brains shut off and I stop thinking about the things I've read. Your style prevents that. Some paragraph seem to be so discontinuous and pretty much broken and yet they are more than coherent and cohesive once you give it some thought. Your style of narration is stunning, to me at least. You reminded me of Gogol (my mandatory) once or twice as I was reading, with the story-line being masked in one's reflections and metaphors.

But out of all the beautiful paragraphs to this story, the one I liked the most was:

"No. Know. And now, and then—one to me. I fell from my past, but I never left. But, then, has anything really changed? Yes. Everything. Everything but me. Everything but what I chose to see. Another man. Consumption and regurgitation. The subway. The museum. The Curator, though his schedule told him otherwise. Dust. I cannot write so quickly as I must. My mind flashes these images before me and I begin to understand. How foolish I was to have missed them, distorting my sight no better than the Curator with his little black book! Crying out that all is tainted, and then fearing those imperfections? To call the Word false, yet grip to it, not believing my own assertions? Be a man! Sun and beggar. When I thought I was sun, I squelched the beggar. When I pretended to be beggar, I hated both. Purity: extremes: the ignorant, Procrustean weakness. Painting frames and water glasses splintershatter in my mind, but I am yet beginning."

Out of all the things you've let us find out about Thomas, this part was the most revealing one to me. I literally stopped breathing. Not only that we get a deep insight into his character, but into the entire humanity. And there is nothing I hate more than finding no flaws in another's work - I don't believe in perfection and rarely ever use that word when describing the work of others. You may find it still in need of editing, but I have never read something like this before. Ever.

Oh, and thank you for explaining your narrative style in the previous post. It has helped me a great deal and I actually learned something today.

This turned out to be far too long.
I'm an expert in ranting about something that should have been said in three normal sentences.

Princess.:

The Way:

A lot of people have favorite reviews from Bastard Son... she should get an award.:D Best author too.

I dunno, I think then she'd get thousands of PMs asking her to review people's stories...

I'm flattered (really, thank you.), but I agree with Carmen, and Sherlock. is the one who should be awarded. She's one of the best review people on here.

But I don't think that should be pointed out. xD It's better off this way. We all get to comment and review whatever we want.

The Way:

You should have more readers, and therefore, commentors. You're one of my favorite authors here, and I have a feeling you're going to be published in a few years.

Okay, first the things I liked:

The first paragraph of the first chapter, aka the description of Autumn. Brilliant. That could easily kick the ass of stories I've written last year, when I was 14.

I love the sweetness of your desciption and metaphors; the sheer simplicity and reality of your writing is very awe-inspiring.

The plot I thought was cliche at first, but you handled it so well and I couldn't object to anything about it. It amazes me how you seem to capture the emotion, the love with your words... like your writing is alive.

The ending made me sad yet anxious. Is there a third chapter? What happened?

But most of all, I LOVE this line:

"Hearts don't die, Autumn. They fall asleep."

It strikes such a chord, and I'm thinking that this is one of the most memorable lines I'll ever come across, and will appear in my list of 'best story quotes' 'till I'm grown.

Now, for the stuff I didn't like, which weren't a lot:

My only problem is sometimes the unappropriateness of the description. Like this line: "I bring my dainty fingers to my forehead..." It's sort of odd to describe the daintiness of your fingers when you're the one who's narrating... and a lot of those seemed to pop up. Some words also popped up too often, like 'delicate,' and I'm sure you have a huge vocabulary and maybe you should apply it more. But you're 14; there's so much more time to improve and leave us all awestruck time and time again. Anyway, so other than that, this story is flawless for me and should be published somewhere.

You're a great writer, and I have a feeling you will definitely go far.

Sherlock:

Sara (Bastard Son.) recommended me your stories a while ago, but I always forgot to check 'em out. Now I know why she told me about you.

I don't know where to begin. You story captivated me. You describe everything in detail, but keep the story dynamic. I prefer detailed descripitions over exhaustive dialogues without any descripiton whatsoever.
I'm a big fan of history. That's another reason why I liked this story. You put the characters in a situation you weren't even part of, but managed to describe the mentality of a family in a very realistic way. And their characters substantial (thinking and doing their duties just the way I imagine people in the 70s doing) - mother doing chors, daughter whose dissapointment in the world's constantly growing, etc.
Basically you've captured the zeitgeist.

If I remember correctly, you used to write posts about wanting to succed as a writer on the message board - You most certainly have the potential, all you need is a chance.

A Melancholy Autumn:

The Way:

You should have more readers, and therefore, commentors. You're one of my favorite authors here, and I have a feeling you're going to be published in a few years.

Okay, first the things I liked:

The first paragraph of the first chapter, aka the description of Autumn. Brilliant. That could easily kick the ass of stories I've written last year, when I was 14.

I love the sweetness of your desciption and metaphors; the sheer simplicity and reality of your writing is very awe-inspiring.

The plot I thought was cliche at first, but you handled it so well and I couldn't object to anything about it. It amazes me how you seem to capture the emotion, the love with your words... like your writing is alive.

The ending made me sad yet anxious. Is there a third chapter? What happened?

But most of all, I LOVE this line:

"Hearts don't die, Autumn. They fall asleep."

It strikes such a chord, and I'm thinking that this is one of the most memorable lines I'll ever come across, and will appear in my list of 'best story quotes' 'till I'm grown.

Now, for the stuff I didn't like, which weren't a lot:

My only problem is sometimes the unappropriateness of the description. Like this line: "I bring my dainty fingers to my forehead..." It's sort of odd to describe the daintiness of your fingers when you're the one who's narrating... and a lot of those seemed to pop up. Some words also popped up too often, like 'delicate,' and I'm sure you have a huge vocabulary and maybe you should apply it more. But you're 14; there's so much more time to improve and leave us all awestruck time and time again. Anyway, so other than that, this story is flawless for me and should be published somewhere.

You're a great writer, and I have a feeling you will definitely go far.

You deserved it. And a whole lot more. I just couldn't find enough words to describe your writing.:)

Not saying who wrote this 'cause I don't know if she'd like it that I told people:

I love the part when the boy is talking to his sister. How they are twins (which I am) and how they look up to, and admire their older brother (which I do). I don't know, that just really realated to me I guess.

But I really loved the concept of your story, and how it was written. Especially the end. I don't remember exactly how it goes, but something like, "I'm going to heaven, because I've already gone through hell,"

Or something like that.

But yeah, anyways. Amazing story !

Thanks for writing it.

I really liked this because someone actually said what they liked...

The Way:

If I were given ten wishes, one of them would be to wish you'd be published, so your stories wouldn't have to go through this phase of having so little comments and so much talent. That's how brilliant you are.

You've surpassed my own writing ability when I was fourteen myself, and I think even until now, nearly two years later.

I got hooked on this story not even at the start of it, but at the friggin' summary. God, you are amazing. I hope whatever dreams you have of being a writer will come true; you're one of the most deserving and (running out of adjectives)... phenomenal authors I've ever come across on the internet.

I am going to anticipate the next chapter. And yes, I will subscribe.

Jolly McJollyson:

Cool. Very cool, in fact. You managed to take the "it was all a dream" cliche and transform it into something fresh. There were a few grammatical mistakes (very few) and word choices I thought were awkward, but overall the style was not held back by anything I'd remotely call lack of control over the language.

I'll admit, I felt a little confused because of the whole "Andrea's gone" and then "I killed my daughter Essie!" I thought she had two daughters until you showed us the headstone. However, I loved that confusion when I'd finished reading, because the mixing up of two different people, the blurred lines between the fictional and actual, ultimately expanded on the overall schizophrenic theme, and, purposefully or not, worked absolutely brilliantly. I'll correct the grammatical mistakes and word choice "errors" I saw at a later date. I'm not sure if a print-out and read-through will help you catch some of the grammatical mistakes, because a few of them were a little obscure/things you wouldn't catch in a proofread. For instance, the Doctor was "woken" by blah blah should be "the Doctor was awoken by blah blah." You wake, but are awoken by someone. To awake requires a direct object, to wake does not use a direct object.

He came back and left two more, one about a small change in the epitaph and one about the overall loop element. Now, I'm not quite sure what that meant, but I'm not one to turn down a compliment. :shifty:

Bastard Son.:

Your style of narration here is FANTASTIC! I didn't mean to abuse the caps, but dear God, I enjoyed every bit of this. Druscilla recommended you and I had to read and find out. It's just all so messed up, all those thoughts all meshed together and screwed up and funny and cynical... I always enjoyed reviewing your stories in the S/R thread, but this one tops them all off. Can't wait for more.

druscilla;infatuated:

New chapter new chapter!
-dances around-
I seriously cannot get enough of the narration.
It's perfect. I've always loved writing a narration where you are immediately thrust not only into the character's mind, but the way that their brain works. I've never been able to find it written well by another person.
Fabulous.

The Way:

I liked all the little references to MCR you put there: the skanky girl Gee liked in high school, the Famous Last Words Video, Aqua Teen Hunger Force (where Gee's cartoon was supposed to be on), Hannah Montana (beating Black Parade to the top of the charts)... etc.

But what I liked most is that you weren't rushing the emotions or the attractions or anything. You set it at a nice, easy, believable pace, with everything actually developing slowly and not growning overnight or something.

Sorry for the somewhat.... confusing review, I just got back from a beach trip and I'm a bit lightheaded and tired, but I still wanted to read the update. :)

druscilla;infatuated:

Motherfuck.
People keep reviewing stories before me on the Story/Review thread.
But I can't not review this.
And I don't even like Panic!at the Disco that much.

Checking yourself into a suite and jumping of a roof was hardly something he did very often, or was it? But he didn’t really want to think about the dying part of suicide yet so he went on to the texts.

And since Ryan kind of didn’t really want to die all the way yet, he made what he took to be as his final mistake.

Fuck this, he was going to die and that would be it. This would be suicide, nothing simpler than killing yourself, right?

Favorite lines, since I can't quote the whole damn thing.

I love it and I loved the entire Bipolar thing because it's so god damn true.

*has fainted from niceness and stuff...*

Reviews for my ongoing story, Don't Take My Brother.

Bastard Son.:

Only one thing I didn't like. The second chapter - "And things were only going to get worse." Don't just say and announce such things, show them, imply them through description and dialogue - makes the story more dynamic.

Other than that, hands down, I applaud. It was really well written, the emotion was captured perfectly, like it always is with your stories. That's what I love about your writing - you focus on emotions rather than pointless dialogue and avoid clichés.

Fish Camp:

This is great. I had read part of this before and I never subscribed so it's nice to get an excuse to read all of it. You're a wonderful writer. What I love most (and I might have said this before) is how you portray the Way brothers much differently. They're either a) always in love or b) in a sarcastic, perfect brother to brother relationship. This story shows them as real siblings might be, bickering and not always best friends, but there for each other when the time comes. Love it.

Vampire_Heart:

wow, this is just amazing. The grammar is very good. I really like your writing style, I just could get lost in your writing. I was quite disappointed that there was no more chapters yet, it was so good. I could totally imagine them doing those things and Gerard and Mikey thinking like that. This is a really good story, keep it up! I'm subscribing =)

Bastard Son.:

This was so... powerful. You, like, own me with this story. I'm in a bit of a hurry to muster up a proper review... But, just for you to know, the moment where his glass dropped and the truth was realized, the moment in front of the answering machine and... Woah. One big emotional roller-coaster for me. You are simply amazing.

Fish Camp:

Wow, fantastic. Great. You are seriously an awesome writer (don't we all know that though?). One thing I love about this story is how it's a bit of an alternate universe, but not completely. The portrayal of the Way brothers is the best thing because--wait, I've said that before. Nevermind. I'm subscribed to this by the way, and I'll love you forever if you keep going. You are a very talented writer (no, duh), and it's an honor to read your stories.

Do keep going.

whatsmyname:

Whoa. This story is practically chilling. I was supposed to read only chapters 5 and 6 in the "Story Review" board, but I read the whole thing. This is an amazing story, honestly. The things I liked most about it:

1. The repetition- "Don't take my brother" is such a chilling phrase that when it repeats in the story (and in different circumstances), it really reminds you of what happened before, sort of like signposting in debating. It's not like the long-winded stories where you just forget everything that happened.
2. The gap - The gap between the first few chapters and the more recent ones was a bit confusing at first, but in hindsight I think that the "flashback" style of telling the story actually works better. Kudos to you as well for not putting the words *FLASHBACK* right there. It creeps me out sometimes.
3. The cliffy (Chp. 5) - Thank god you uploaded chapter 6 before I read it, or else I'd go crazy. It was a powerful cliffhanger, that's for sure.

There were a few minor gripes I had with the story though, mainly grammatical. I found this sentence particularly confusing:

To him, the right thing didn’t matter when you asked something of your brother, and if they did something otherwiseit was to be considered betrayal.

And betrayal could change a lot of things.

I like the "betrayal" idea behind the sentence, but the first part (in italics) was just confusing to the reader. Try rephrasing it and make it more personal to Gerard's point of view, and with less twists and turns in it.

Overall, this was an extremely enjoyable read. I'm subscribing to it (the first MCR story I've subscribed to), so update soon!

Sorry if this is too long, by the way. :(

ierogasm:

“I. Hate. You.” Gerard whispered, emphasizing each syllable of the spiteful sentence -
the malice and pure emotion in this was really good, use of "big" words makes it seem more real, the setting was great aswell.

“Gee, I… we…” Her voice seemed uneven, shaky, like she’d been crying. Or still is. Slowly he put the pill under his tongue, listening.

“Gerard,” she said, struggling to speak coherently. “Your brother, Mikey…”

damnit cliffhanger lol.
the "slowly he put the..." part kinda put into perspective the severity of the situation and Gerards nonchalant approach.

love it, of course.

<< my rating comment, but also the truth. love it oh lordy x]

Bastard Son.:

Okay, that's it. I'm subscribing. I can't stalk this any longer. xD
I just love how you use his thoughts to characterize him. I keep rambling about it all the time, but I can't help it - it's amazing. What I like most here is the bitterness. You portrayed it just right. I really love this story. It's grown on me in these past few days.

Juice.Box:

Wow...I really like this one by you. It didn't bore me. I loved everything about this story. The writing was perfect. Your a remakable writter. I saw no problems with this story. To be honest I wasn't looking. Im not that damn picky. Overall I give four stars for this. Keep up the good work (=

Let's Just Laugh.:

You know how much I love this story.
If not, you do now.

The story is unique, I've not read any other story like this one before, and...I really don't know how to word it. Amazing, for lack of a better word.
Well done, you've done a great job on this story!

These have got to be some of the best I've ever gotten, both on this site and fanfiction.net

The Way:

I'm gonna start quoting you now in my comments - so you know which lines strikes a chord within me.

I ran my thumbs over the dark circles around his eyes and kissed each tender eyelid, feeling it flutter underneath my moist lips. He was drifting away again, somewhere far away from me, somewhere where I couldn’t save him from.

He was already in that dreamy stage of his, gazing at me with affectionate, glassy eyes – like he knew I was someone he loved, but couldn’t make out my name or any of the memories we’d shared.

It was different, not our usual horny, sloppy and messy kiss, but a mellow, loving kiss. A kiss saying You Are The One, his eyes confirming the message conveyed through tenderness I couldn’t even find the proper words to describe.

Warmth embraced my heart as he smiled shyly and ushered his hair behind his ears as he dipped his head to hide the soft, rosy blush creeping up his cheeks. His hands shook lightly while he was turning the scribbled pages, blushing even harder every time he’d pass a drawing of me.

So, yeah, those were my favorite parts. I liked when Gerard called Frankie short, bringing a bit of a comedic relief, as well as Frankie's reaction about kicking him. And them kissing through Frankie's fringe. Teehee

They're a certain sweet gentleness about this chapter that I really loved. There was no anger or distress or misery, but even through the beauty, and all the love, there was like a curtain of melancholy that somehow made it all more poignant.

You're an amazing writer, but I'm sure you already know that. :mrgreen:

Btw, thanks for liking Don't Take My Brother. It means a lot to me - both the support from commentors and the story itself. I actually also respect you because you can have so many stories going and not shatter through all the pressure; I've always been the one-shot kind of person, so updating is hard for me unless I already finished the story. How do you do it? Haha.

The End Tas.:

I loved it babe! What I liked most was the linking of changes in scene with lyrics. Gorgeously written, as usual. I love the way to describe things. It's like, you use the perfect amount of description. You don't under-do it or over-do it (like moi!). And the plot and general concept was just... so amazing. That whole idea of meeting someone on the beach and and then falling in love and never seeing them again. It's depressing, I must say, but the way you portray it gives it a tone of content regret. If that makes any sense. Holy fuck. I'm listening to On My Own by The Used right now and it totally fits your story. But anyways, I loved it when you said how one had taken the sunglasses. And the speaker said something like, "To hide his eyes maybe. From me?" There was something about that sentence. I don't know. It expresses the character's sense of being timid yet willing yet unsure yet eager. I dunno what I'm saying anymore. Point is, you're an amazing writer and I enjoy reading your work.

lyrical_mess:

How do you always manage to make me melt like that? I haven't been catching up lately, but I loved "I felt like a boring whiny five year old. Might as well have been, I enjoyed candy far too much." It made me giggle.

You know, normally, I hate the whole switching point of view thing. I really hate it. The only time I actually liked it was in a book called A Time For Dancing. I think you manage to make it work though. But I kind of thought Mikey's POV was unnecessary. I thought it worked better when you just alternated chapters with Frank and Gerard's POV. I actually like Frank's POV better than Gerard's. :shifty:

Still, I think it was cool the way you managed to mix in Gerard's artistic roots with his lyrics and bring his past into it and stuff. I liked that. Plus, I don't know how you do it, but you always manage to make me melt. I'm like "awww" during every single chapter! I like the tie-in of Ghost of You, especially though. And I thought it was cute how you made Gerard shy to sing while he was with Frankie (and sober!).

The Way:

The italics were brilliant. They kind of tied the story together.

Your description brings the scenes to life, and sort of draws the reader in and sucks him/her into the universe you've created. The emotion you wrap in your words seems almost poetic, and very, very beautiful. :)

You have a gift, and you use it well. Thank you for sharing it with us.

Sherlock:

Finally, my lazy ass bothered with writing a short comment :mrgreen:

I liked it how you used summer as a kind of a metaphore for their...well..."relationship". That was what blew me away from the start.

The cigarette held in between my fingers had burnt out ages ago and just stood there, like a headstone to all those memories.
That was, without exaggeration, brilliant! It perfectly depicted the memories as a weight on his heart.
"He touched me for a moment, was gone in the next and left me stained for a lifetime."
He must've left a really strong impression. Again, brilliant.

Basically I liked everything, the concept, the metaphores,...everything, except for the second part being written in the second person. I can't stand that, so it really bugged me. Someone would say it contributed to the privacy and intimacy of their "love", but as for me, it only ruined it.
Nevertheless, it's an amazing story!

The Way:

I actually really love it. First Green Day story I've read that wasn't required on the Story/Review thread, and I absolutely loved it.

I mean, what's not to love? You'd probably want me to say what particular stuff I liked, but I liked the whole package. Truly, I did. I mean, Mike and Tre being concerned, and BJ being stubborn about his obvious problem, and when you brought up the family issues, it just got so emotional, you know?

I love this. I'm gonna subscribe because 1) I'd like to read it again, 2) It deserves to be updated. I mean, really. Please. Don't leave us hanging like that.

Thank you. A great story you've got there. :D

Ego booster .

Comments between me and a viewer regarding one of my Billie/Mike slash videos.Mine are in red.

what you are saying is that they are gay but they're not they love eachother as friends. just like me and my friend.

It's a fictional story.
-yawn-

yeah but still its mean.:(

Only if you're pathetic.

what would you say if someone started calling you and your friend gay or lez or bi how would you feel

Well... I'm gay.
And engaged to my best friend.
So... I'd shrug.
But if I were straight and someone said it about my friend then I'd laugh.
It's not like anyone that's not an imbecile believes this shit.

you win

Okay, it's not the best but it's from someone who I infinitely trust as she writes more amazing stories than I've ever seen.

A Melancholy Autumn:

HOLY SHIT.

:cheese:

I don't think there words worthy enough to say how much that is...
hell, I can't even think of an adjective.

All for the same story as above:

[We were having a party in the Thinking Thread...]

All for my new story If Music Be The Food Of Love.

A Melancholy Autumn:

Princess; that story was UHMAZING.

A Melancholy Autumn:

it really is.
it's just...breathtaking.
something I would seriously consider publishing.
the descriptions are just...fwoah.

A Melancholy Autumn:

Oh, and Princess, it's so good I wish I'd written it.

Shannon;R.I.P. Gnomy:

Princess, any time I read something like that, it makes me inspired to write. it even helps with my writing. reading that kind of stuff makes mine better.

A Melancholy Autumn:

And Princess, you are infinitely more talented that you get credit for.

Shannon;R.I.P. Gnomy:

dude...it was so good, that there were some words i didnt even know the meaning to.

:lmfao

and I know a lot of words.

A Melancholy Autumn:

ARE YOU KIDDING ME.

NO.

THAT...LIKE...PWNED MY STORIES SO MUCH.

A Melancholy Autumn:

:finger:

NO.

IT WAS SO GOOD IT MADE ME ABUSE THE CAPS LOCK.

Love;; Corrupted:

Princess, im alittle late but, what you wrote was amazing. It really inspired me...o.0

A Melancholy Autumn:

PRINCESS THIS IS WHAT I THINK OF YOUR STORY

Review on LJ for my Decrescendo Accelerando, a Duet.

Absolutely fantastic, hon! I'm rather wary sometimes of OCs, but this was just lovely... and hot, and blunt in its vulnerability on both sides. I love both voices here, especially Reid's of course, but Jimmy just seemed to fit. Some rough edges that are smoothed out with honesty - trust - and the truth of laying yourself bare in intimacy, not just sex. Lovely.

I liked it because a lot of times I never really see things that happened in my writing until someone else says it. That's what happened with that review.