Anorexia.

^ Suddenly? That seems quite... strange, I guess. Maybe with the onset of puberty, you began picking up on certain cues and inferring different messages? I don't know. But gosh, yeah, that can't do anything for your self-esteem.

I'm sorry you've felt shitty enough to attempt suicide, but I guess still being here must be a sign of fate or something

Medically, I don't think you can be diagnosed with both anorexia and bulimia at the same time, however, someone I know of was discussing how they hold a lot of power over each other. I mean, yeah... Say, you have anorexia (restricting type) and during recovery, you inch into bulimia... during recovery from bulimia, food becomes a threat due to its triggering nature (eat a bite, eat the whole kitchen. Puke.)

That's not a revolutionary statement, but lately I've been thinking about the relationship with different behaviours and different points in people's lives... or whatever.

what the chipmunk?:

^ Suddenly? That seems quite... strange, I guess. Maybe with the onset of puberty, you began picking up on certain cues and inferring different messages? I don't know. But gosh, yeah, that can't do anything for your self-esteem.

I'm sorry you've felt shitty enough to attempt suicide, but I guess still being here must be a sign of fate or something

Medically, I don't think you can be diagnosed with both anorexia and bulimia at the same time, however, someone I know of was discussing how they hold a lot of power over each other. I mean, yeah... Say, you have anorexia (restricting type) and during recovery, you inch into bulimia... during recovery from bulimia, food becomes a threat due to its triggering nature (eat a bite, eat the whole kitchen. Puke.)

That's not a revolutionary statement, but lately I've been thinking about the relationship with different behaviours and different points in people's lives... or whatever.

The suicide thing probably has to do with the fact that I tried it really sloppily. Like, the vein I hit wasn't bleeding enough or something. Or I woke up after swallowing a bottle Tylenol PM.

It's shitty, I agree.

It's not just women, some guys do it also.
I've had a few eating disorders a few years ago.
I personally wasn't obsessed over every calorie intake, or anything.
I tried throwing up once, and it felt good, not like the throwing up experience when your sick. To me it felt like it made me breathe better. Soon I found myself craving to do it more, and more. I'd do it when I was upset, or when I felt I ate too much. And i figured that it helped me loose weight, and make me feel better. No one ever found out, and luckily I stopped. It took a while, but it happened. You have to have will power, and the desire.

This week is National Eating Disorder Awareness Week.

Spread the word.

amymay:

I tried throwing up once, and it felt good, not like the throwing up experience when your sick. To me it felt like it made me breathe better. Soon I found myself craving to do it more, and more. I'd do it when I was upset, or when I felt I ate too much. And i figured that it helped me loose weight, and make me feel better. No one ever found out, and luckily I stopped. It took a while, but it happened. You have to have will power, and the desire.

Isn't that like... bulimia as opposed to anorexia?

what the chipmunk?:

Medically, I don't think you can be diagnosed with both anorexia and bulimia at the same time, however, someone I know of was discussing how they hold a lot of power over each other. I mean, yeah... Say, you have anorexia (restricting type) and during recovery, you inch into bulimia... during recovery from bulimia, food becomes a threat due to its triggering nature (eat a bite, eat the whole kitchen. Puke.)

That's not a revolutionary statement, but lately I've been thinking about the relationship with different behaviours and different points in people's lives... or whatever.

Actually, a lot of times they work together as time progresses. I was admitted into treatment with both. You switch from one to the other to throw people off. With anorexia, you limit your food intake. Bulimia, you binge and purge. Many of the girls I've meet are the same way. There are "anorexic days" and "bulimic days". For so many day's you'll restrict your food intake or not eat at all, then one day you'll binge and then throw it up. It's not as cut and dry as you see on TV, read in books, or learn about in school. There are two types of anorexia.

Classic Anorexia - The person eats very little and loses weight through self-starvation and/or excessive exercise. Calories consumed are insufficient to support bodily functions and activities.

Binge-Eating/Purging Anorexia - In addition to cutting the intake of calories, this person also binges and purges (self-induced vomiting, or misuse of laxatives, whatever.) The person has symptoms of both anorexia and bulimia. Surprisingly, about 50% of people with anorexia also develop bulimia.

Needless to say, the second type is much, much more dangerous and more people who die of an ED die from this form.

i've been anorexic for a long time now. (it will be a year June 18)

Before that, i was bulimic for six years. I understand that i'm sick, and that i'm not well. but it IS an addiction. when i sleep, i think about being thin, when i'm awake, i think about being thin. thin is everything to me. i do thousands of sit ups and oblique crunches everyday. the most calories i've eaten this whole time is 456; and i hated myself for it. people think that it's because of the fashion world, or because of low self esteem. what they don't realize is that i was eleven years old the first time i threw up after dinner. and it wasn't because i felt ugly, or fat, or because i wanted to look exactly like mila kunis (/random). it's because i was stressed out with my family issues, and with school.

skinny is everything to me. not because i feel absolutely fat all the time. but because my whole life has been worse than any other i've ever read, heard, or known about. i secretly wish that i was skinny because i feel like if i look weak, god will take pity on me - thus, giving me an easier time and a better life.

Silver.:

I was admitted into treatment with both.

You were diagnosed with both AN and BN at the same time?

Lielle:

i've been anorexic for a long time now. (it will be a year June 18)

Before that, i was bulimic for six years. I understand that i'm sick, and that i'm not well. but it IS an addiction. when i sleep, i think about being thin, when i'm awake, i think about being thin. thin is everything to me. i do thousands of sit ups and oblique crunches everyday. the most calories i've eaten this whole time is 456; and i hated myself for it. people think that it's because of the fashion world, or because of low self esteem. what they don't realize is that i was eleven years old the first time i threw up after dinner. and it wasn't because i felt ugly, or fat, or because i wanted to look exactly like mila kunis (/random). it's because i was stressed out with my family issues, and with school.

skinny is everything to me. not because i feel absolutely fat all the time. but because my whole life has been worse than any other i've ever read, heard, or known about. i secretly wish that i was skinny because i feel like if i look weak, god will take pity on me - thus, giving me an easier time and a better life.

Bloody hell. How are you still alive?
Give me a week on less than 500 calories a day and I can't stand up without the world spinning...

So, for the last nine months or so, you've been living on less than 500 calories a day? (significantly less?) How are you holding up, physically? I guess, maybe, that doesn't matter too much to you (I'm making generalisations, probably?) but... like, if you feel comfortable saying? How does your body handle it?

And you're right. It's not really about fashion or magazines or thin models. I think the whole societal obsession with being thin (and the whole package; lose weight, be beautiful, get some wonderful boyfriend, live a successful life happily ever after... ) doesn't help, however.

I think the last paragraph of your post comes across wonderfully honest, and I think maybe a few people out there with eating disorders could relate.

what the chipmunk?:

You were diagnosed with both AN and BN at the same time?

Yeah, like I said: Binge-Eating/Purging Anorexia - In addition to cutting the intake of calories, this person also binges and purges (self-induced vomiting, or misuse of laxatives, whatever.) The person has symptoms of both anorexia and bulimia. Surprisingly, about 50% of people with anorexia also develop bulimia.

Silver.:

Yeah, like I said: Binge-Eating/Purging Anorexia - In addition to cutting the intake of calories, this person also binges and purges (self-induced vomiting, or misuse of laxatives, whatever.) The person has symptoms of both anorexia and bulimia. Surprisingly, about 50% of people with anorexia also develop bulimia.

Ah, okay.
I was right, then: you can't be diagnosed with both AN and BN at the same time?

I'm well aware that Anorexia Nervosa (of the binge-purge sub-type) incorporates bulimic behaviour, though.

what the chipmunk?:

Ah, okay.
I was right, then: you can't be diagnosed with both AN and BN at the same time?

I'm well aware that Anorexia Nervosa (of the binge-purge sub-type) incorporates bulimic behaviour, though.

No, you can't be.
I have purging type anorexia, and my parents thought I was bulimic, because of the behaviour.
But whatever.

^ Cool, that's what I thought...
An individual diagnosed with Anorexia Nervosa (of the binge-purge sub-type) could exhibit primarily bulimic behaviour (bingeing and purging at least twice a week...), yet due to a low BMI and lack of menstruation, would be diagnosed as anorexic.

what the chipmunk?:

^ Cool, that's what I thought...
An individual diagnosed with Anorexia Nervosa (of the binge-purge sub-type) could exhibit primarily bulimic behaviour (bingeing and purging at least twice a week...), yet due to a low BMI and lack of menstruation, would be diagnosed as anorexic.

If you wanna go for a medical diagnosis, yes.
My parents realized what was going on and carted me off to a psychologist and nutritionist. But my BMI is still in the healthy range.

what the chipmunk?:

Bloody hell. How are you still alive?
Give me a week on less than 500 calories a day and I can't stand up without the world spinning...

So, for the last nine months or so, you've been living on less than 500 calories a day? (significantly less?) How are you holding up, physically? I guess, maybe, that doesn't matter too much to you (I'm making generalisations, probably?) but... like, if you feel comfortable saying? How does your body handle it?

And you're right. It's not really about fashion or magazines or thin models. I think the whole societal obsession with being thin (and the whole package; lose weight, be beautiful, get some wonderful boyfriend, live a successful life happily ever after... ) doesn't help, however.

I think the last paragraph of your post comes across wonderfully honest, and I think maybe a few people out there with eating disorders could relate.

i won't lie. it's hard. but it's worth it because it is hard. my body shakes and my chest heaves whenever i stretch. i vomit on accident sometimes because of my gag reflexes. i bruise incredibly easily. i almost never sleep. i use to be deaf in one ear and now i can't hear anything from that same ear. my eyesight is getting worse. and i can feel myself deteriorating. without a doubt.

but thin is worth it. because i've been fat and ugly for long, i've forgotten what it's like to be noticed, or appreciated for who i really am inside and out.

Silver.:

Yeah, like I said: Binge-Eating/Purging Anorexia - In addition to cutting the intake of calories, this person also binges and purges (self-induced vomiting, or misuse of laxatives, whatever.) The person has symptoms of both anorexia and bulimia. Surprisingly, about 50% of people with anorexia also develop bulimia.

i had bulimia before i developed anorexia. and i do have both. anorexia is the obsessive counting of FOOD intake and increased exercise, while bulimia is a binge (for me it's exercise) and purge. chew and spit is also a symptom of bulimia.

^ I thought c/s was regarded as a symptom of EDNOS? Also, my knowledge of the diagnosis made me conclude that AN had little to do with the means of starvation, but rather a low BMI, lack of menstruation (in females), distorted perception and refusal to be a normal weight? Whether obsessively counting calories or bingeing and purging is quite irrelevant to the main diagnosis, but differentiated by the sub-type...

That said, I knew a therapist who described purging anorexics as impulsive. Different food behaviours can manifest in different, erm, behaviours...

Like, restricting anorexics could be more withdrawn/obsessive/boring than a possibly more manic/impulsive/wild b/ping anorexic

... maybe.

what the chipmunk?:

^ I thought c/s was regarded as a symptom of EDNOS? Also, my knowledge of the diagnosis made me conclude that AN had little to do with the means of starvation, but rather a low BMI, lack of menstruation (in females), distorted perception and refusal to be a normal weight? Whether obsessively counting calories or bingeing and purging is quite irrelevant to the main diagnosis, but differentiated by the sub-type...

That said, I knew a therapist who described purging anorexics as impulsive. Different food behaviours can manifest in different, erm, behaviours...

Like, restricting anorexics could be more withdrawn/obsessive/boring than a possibly more manic/impulsive/wild b/ping anorexic

... maybe.

that makes a lot of sense.

I saw a woman jogging one day, and she looked like she was anorexic. Obviously, I don't know for sure because I don't know her, but she was extremely boney and I could count her ribs with no problem, even though I was across the street from her. All her bones were visible. It's really.. eye opening? I guess is the word I'm looking for, when you see someone like that. I mean, you hear what anorexia can do to your body, but it's different when you actually see someone in person who's literally skin and bones.

Also, I have a friend who's been starving himself. Recently, he's been through a lot, and he became depressed and ate a lot and gained a bit of weight. He's not fat at all though, but now he's pretty much quit eating all together. He tells me he wants to lose weight because he thinks he's chubby and disgusting. I've tried telling him it's not healthy but he doesn't listen. I'm worried about him.

Yesterday he told me the only thing he ate was half a waffle. I told him that's not the way he should be losing weight, but he's convinced himself that starving = losing weight.

My ribs and hip bones stick out awkwardly and make those parts of me look anorexic.
I am trying to lose weight and sometimes I just don't want to eat. Not that I'm trying to starve myself but sometimes I just get tired of eating. That doesn't seem normal though.